February 24, 2012, - 5:35 pm
I can’t really recommend any of the new movies debuting in theaters, this weekend. But here’s what I saw:
* “Act of Valor“: You’ve probably already read my full review column on this trash. What could have been a decent made-for-TV movie with real-life Navy SEALS trying their hands at acting, instead became an anti-Semitic diatribe in which the main terrorist financier and torturer of CIA agents is, not Muslim, but Jewish. No thanks. I’ve had enough Goebbels-quality cinema to last a century, but Leni Riefenstahl would be proud. Read my complete review.
* “Wanderlust“: At times, this movie was extremely funny. And I give credit to any movie that makes funny of hippies, left-wing morons, animal rights activists, free love advocates, vegans, and other forms of New Age wacko-ism. This movie did all that and even exposed a hippie “leader”/”guru as a complete fraud and charlatan.
However, it went a little too far for me and was kinda gross. A baby being raised with its placenta still attached and at the table at dinner, all kinds of feces and bathroom jokes, and other assorted bathroom humor/eeuuw-inducing stuff–yuck! Ditto for a nudist’s penis in everyone’s face and scenes with lots of senior citizen nudists running around. It’s a sagging, disgusting scene I can’t get out of my mind. And the movie was more than a little annoying, which pretty much sums up how I feel about star Jennifer Aniston. She’s annoying, and she plays herself in every failed movie she does. It gets old. I’ve had enough of Rachel from “Friends,” still desperate to stay relevant years later.
Aniston and Paul Rudd play a New York couple who buy a “micro-loft,” which is a euphemism for tiny studio apartment that costs a fortune. But, right after that, Rudd loses his job and Aniston’s documentary about arctic penguins with testicular cancer doesn’t sell to HBO. They are broke and must move out of the apartment and seek work elsewhere, while staying at Rudd’s annoying rich brother’s house in suburban Atlanta. On the way, they get stuck at a “bed and breakfast” in the middle of nowhere, called Elysium. It turns out to be a hippie commune. And, after a brief time there, they decide to give the commune and hippie life a try, though Aniston is more into it than Rudd.
Being the only intelligent, normal, and sane person amidst these hippie nutcases is difficult for Rudd and the source of much of the movie’s comedy. But he’s pretty much the only likable person in the entire movie. Aniston’s character was selfish back in New York and she’s selfish at the commune. She’s the reason they were stuck in the commune in the first place. I, frankly, couldn’t understand why Rudd’s character didn’t quickly dump her, and I wanted him to. Wives like her are the reason a lot of men get into troubled scenarios like this.
Not my kind of movie and too much that is just plain gross. Plus the ending was cheesy and so very predictable.
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Gone“: This was not screened for critics, but like an idiot, I went to the Midnight show last night, so I could post a review of it for you, today. When will I learn that almost all of the movies not screened for us are crap? It’s the occasional good ones that keep making me enough of a sucker to go see the ones which have trailers that appeal to me. Sadly, the trailer is almost always a major league lie.
This was long, slow, boring, and stupid. It involves a cockamamie, uninteresting plot centering around Amanda Seyfried, who plays a victim of a serial killer that got away. She lives with her college-student sister in Portland, and is constantly looking to find the pit in the woods from which she escaped her attacker. The police believe she made the whole story up and there is no serial killer. But she believes the serial killer is watching her, so he can finally put her out of her misery. Her sister goes missing and she searches for the killer.
Believe me, when I tell you that the description makes it sound far more intriguing and exciting than it is. I struggled to stay awake because it was that bad.
Skipworthy to the max.
Watch the trailer. . .
Tags: Act of Valor, Amanda Seyfried, commune, Elysium, Gone, Hippies, Jennifer Aniston, movie, movie review, Movie Reviews, Paul Rudd, Wanderlust