March 9, 2009, - 11:17 am
By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE: A Federal Air Marshal Writes ****
I thought it was obvious that the names and identities of Federal Air Marshals are supposed to remain secret. I know several FAMs and I’d never ever disclose their identifying info. It’s well known that Federal Air Marshals whose names have been publicly disclosed are useless to to the FAMS program.
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist or brain surgeon to figure that out.
But apparently you do have to have a few more brain cells than yenta co-hosts of ABC’s “The View,” Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar (which isn’t difficult, given the high levels of air inside their heads).
On this morning’s episode of the anti-male vapidity-fest (which is in Los Angeles, this week), Hasselbeck (sadly ABC’s version of conservatism–dumb, ignorant, and not too conservative beyond talking points someone fed her) announced to the audience.
We’d like to thank Robert Thompson.
She and Behar then went on to tell us that Mr. Thompson was sitting next to them on their Sunday First Class flight from New York to Los Angeles, that he told them he was a “View” fan and wanted to take pictures with them. They said he told them during the flight that he was coming home from serving in Iraq and that his family paid for the First Class upgrade.
At the end of the flight, these brainiacs–Hasselbeck and Behar–told the world that this guy, Thompson, told them he was really a Federal Air Marshal.
It didn’t occur to these two geniuses that maybe they shouldn’t announce and disclose this info on TV.
But since they ran their big mouths, we now know that:
1) A guy named Robert Thompson is a Federal Air Marshal;
2) He sits in First Class;
3) FAMs are guarding flights from New York to Los Angeles on Sundays;
4) Don’t believe any stories people tell you on flights about coming home from Iraq or their families paying for First-Class upgrades–probably an FAM cover story (and Thompson and other FAMs will have to come up with new stories, now);
5) Don’t tell anything to dumb women–be they faux-conservative or liberal–who host women’s talk shows, unless you want it mindlessly blabbed to the world; and
WORST OF ALL:
6) Don’t claim you’re a fan of “The View,” and expect anyone in the Federal Air Marshal Service to ever believe again that you’re a man (admitting to this–even if you’re making it up–tells us all you left your man card back at the departure gate, never to be found again).
Like I said, you don’t need to be brain surgeon or rocket scientist to know not to announce these details on national TV, but for these “View” hags, Hasselbeck and Behar, it’s apparently a rocket surgeon. For all Hasselbeck’s bloviating about worrying about America’s national security, she won’t even think twice about jeopardizing it, herself. And this starstruck Air Marshal didn’t think twice about telling these blabbermouths who he really is.
Memo to Self: Flight with Federal Air Marshal Bob Thompson not safe from terrorists, due to:
1) Lack of Brains;
2) Lack of Testosterone.
Time for Mr. Thompson to get desk duty. His cover’s been blown.
**** UPDATE–A Federal Air Marshal writes:
WTF was he thinking? Our agency does not condone its agents slobbering over celebs like a soccer mom sitting next to Brad Pitt. I mean of alllll people to yap to? Jeez. I can count the number of times I have even engaged someone in conversation in the last year on one hand.
Biggest fan-FAM deserves whatever the agency does to him. I hope his teammates take him aside and advise him that they don’t like him risking their asses to score points with a washed up menopausal comic and her token Chrissy Snow RINO sidekick. They are sheep and they don’t like the sheepdogs so it’s not like he can win them over to the conservative way of thinking. Wow is all I can say.
PS Thanks for torturing yourself with “The View,” so I don’t have to.