July 6, 2012, - 8:40 pm
I really liked one of the three new movies at theaters, this weekend. The Oliver Stone flick is just plain horrid. I chose not to see nor will I review the Katy Perry shameless self-promotion movie, since I loathe her and her heavy marketing to kids (with inappropriate songs, like “I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It”), and she has not distanced herself enough from her absolute clown of a father, despite his starkly anti-Semitic comments.
* “Savages“: The title aptly describes the truly warped, damaged minds of far-left, America-hating, verminous director/HAMAS fan/Hitler devotee Oliver Stone and ANYONE having anything to do with the production of this absolute garbage. I feel like my mind was raped by this vile creature’s pointless exercise in over two hours of extremely brutal torture porn. The movie is an attempt at hate commentary on America. Yes, only those who hate this great country and wish to show it as the dregs of earth, would produce this malodorous fecal material of cinematic screed. If you don’t hate Oliver Stone with a vengeance, you should. You have to recall his long line of America-hating movies, including those defaming our troops as drug dealers and scum, to not conclude that this is the absolute worst of a long history of dog poop on screen (though it might be). When I walked out, all I could think was, “Uck Foliver Stone.” I hate this absolute waste of human skin. I shudder to think that American soldiers die for this schmuck’s right to make this. It’s hardly a fair trade. Not even close. This is one of the worst–if not THE WORST–movies I’ve ever seen as a movie critic. I’m not sure what the point of this is other than to show two hours and ten minutes of graphic violence, dismemberment, and rough sex scenes . . . and defame America. The word, “depraved,” is the understatement of the year for this horrible movie.
A sample of what you see: one of the main characters is forced to throw a torch on the gasoline-saturated body of another character, burning him alive. His girlfriend, who was raped by a Mexican drug dealer and with whom he shares with his best friend in a menage-a-trois is forced to watch on video as he does this. I missed the critics’ screening for this and went to see last night’s midnight showing. Sadly, the theater was packed with the dumb idiots of America who all raved over this “masterpiece” as they were leaving. Now if you want to make a true ode to the bad things about America, that would be the film: these minds of absolute mush, most of whom were in their late teens and 20-somethings and think that killing and gay-esque threesome sex scenes are what’s good and decent about this country. More proof that the saying that there’s no accounting for good taste in America is more true than ever and becoming ever more so as time moves on. This movie is yet another exhibit of America’s absolute moral decline. After being fed a steady diet of halal crap like this, it’s no wonder Stone’s son converted to Islam in Iran. No doubt, his son had a lifetime of lectures from daddy that this is what America is about.
“Savages” Director Oliver Stone w/ Ramallah HAMAS Chief Hassan Yussef
“Savages” Director Oliver Stone Echoes Views of Best Bud Yasser Arafat
The “story”: two drug dealers–pals since high school–are living in a fabulous house off the beach with their girlfriend. Yes, they share her and have threesomes. Oh, and they make sure to tell you that one of the drug dealers served in the U.S. military in Afghanistan, where he found the seeds for the best marijuana. And Stone wants to make sure that you know he became a brutally violent killing machine because he served in the U.S. military. The other drug dealer is a hippie-type free spirit who uses the drug-dealing to fund a foundation which feeds and educates poor people (many in Muslim hijabs) around the world. So, hey, drug-dealing must be okay, right? ‘Cuz it’s “humanitarian.” Riiiight.
But a Mexicana drug kingpin (Salma Hayek) wants their drug business. And they have only two choices: merge or die. When they plan to flee the country, the drug kingpin kidnaps the girlfriend, played by Black Lively. I’m not sure why there is so much praise and hype over Blake Lively since, as this movie and others demonstrate, her only talents are the two acting gigs most women can do far better: fake moaning during sex and crying. And she does it a lot here. A corrupt top DEA agent, played by an evermore calorically-gifted John Travolta, is on the take and helps all of the rival drug dealers in the movie, in exchange for bribes. John Revolting is a more fitting name, since he and this movie are both that in spades.
Anyone who finds this entertaining should be lobotomized (or perhaps already has been) and locked up forever. Watching this was sheer torture. If you love America and have any sense of decency, you will SKIP THIS tripe.
TEN MARXES PLUS FIVE BIN LADENS [OFF THE SCALE]
Watch the trailer . . .
* “The Woman in the Fifth [La Femme du Veme]“: I enjoyed this movie because I like mysterious thrillers that don’t answer all the questions and leave something to the imagination, forcing the viewer to think and ponder afterward about what really happened. But this does a little too much of that, and gives you almost no clue what really happened. It’s good to leave some loose ends. This one leaves so many that, ultimately, the movie unravels. Still, it was entertaining. And filled with suspense. This is definitely not a snoozer. So much happens in this movie that it’s hard to believe it was just a quick 85 minutes. It speeds by, as any good movie does.
A barely recognizable Ethan Hawke plays an American professor and formerly successful novelist who is down on his luck and struggling to make a comeback and get his life together. He’s come to Paris to re-unite with his estranged wife and young daughter. But the wife wants him out of her life and has a restraining order against him. He has just returned from a long stay in a prison or mental hospital (or both). And the Paris we see is the underbelly of the city, mostly dark, depressing, and ugly. Since his wallet and belongings were stolen and he has no money anyway, he stays at a mysterious cheap motel run by a Muslim Arab, who generously allows him to stay for free. But it soon becomes apparent that there are strings attached. He is enlisted by the Muslim to work nights at a mysterious underground room, allowing various men entry, during which he hears screaming and violence coming from various rooms and wonders what is going on. Clearly it’s illicit and illegal. And his love life is complicated, too. While he is developing an affair with a young Polish girl who works at the motel, he is also sleeping with an older Hungarian woman (Kristin Scott Thomas) he meets at a party, who is sort of like an informal guru. And eventually, he is framed for a brutal crime. But nothing is as it seems. Or is it? When it ends, the movie leaves you guessing. About a lot.
This is in mostly in French with English subtitles. As I noted, it’s quite entertaining, but leaves you wondering a little too much. Definitely an adult movie and not for kids. If you like your movies all wrapped up neatly and tied in a bow at the end, this isn’t for you. For everyone with imagination, curiosity, and wonder, you might like this.
Watch the trailer . . .
* “To Rome With Love“: This is not one of Woody Allen’s best movies. Not even close. It’s entertaining enough, but kind of boring and it simply doesn’t have the sharpness and tight plot of Allen’s other contemporary movies. In comparison to those, it’s dull. Still, there is good commentary in it against Communism (which Allen needs to tell his mirror, not us), statements regarding the absurdity of fame and fandom, and other issues.
There are four storylines in the movie, which takes place in Rome, as indicated by the title. There is an Italian clerk (the one-note Roberto Benigni) who is working-class and unattractive. Suddenly, he becomes famous for no apparent reason. He is followed by the press, beautiful women have sex with him, and he is invited to movie previews. His shaving sessions and meals are the topics of feverish media coverage. Then, there is a couple (Jesse Eisenberg and Greta Gerwig) who live in Rome and are visited by the woman’s best friend, Ellen Page. Soon, the guy is taken with her and cheats on his girlfriend with her, and he takes advice from his cynical imaginary friend, Alec Baldwin. And then there is the neurotic American couple (Woody Allen and Judy Davis) visiting the parents of the Italian guy their daughter has fallen in love with. The Italian father has a terrific singing voice in the shower, and Allen, a retired Opera producer/promoter, wants to get him into showbiz and singing opera. But he is reluctant, as he enjoys being a mortician. Finally, there is a couple of newlyweds, who become separated. He hires a prostitute (Penelope Cruz) to pretend she’s his wife at business and family meetings, but she’s dressed as a hooker. And the bride meets her favorite married movie star, who wants to have sex with her.
See, there’s no earth-shattering stuff here. Nothing new, nothing interesting. But a lot of funny lines. Mildly entertaining and fine if you have nothing else to do and want an okay time at the movies.
Best line in the movie: Woody Allen announces, “I was never a Communist. I could never share a bathroom.” Well, now Woody, you know how we feel about Obamacare.
HALF A REAGAN
Watch the trailer . . .
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