November 1, 2012, - 10:53 am
When you look at the strange new love affair between calorically-gifted (or is that, “differently-digestive”?) New Jersey Blob-in-Chief Governor Chris Christie a/k/a Chris Chrispie Creme and Barack Hussein Obama, you can only come to one conclusion: Obama left a donut trail for the HAMAS-lovin’ Republican from Joisey. Or you can come to another: Christie wants to run for President in 2016 and he thinks if he can get Romney out of the way now, it’s all the better. He and his fatness might not last until 2020, given the various obesity-related health problems he’s had.
This can be the only explanation. It’s one thing to repeatedly call Obama incompetent–as Christie has, and then try to appear statesmanlike when the President inserts himself into a disaster that’s hit your state. But Christie’s gushing has gone way overboard. He sounds like a 13-year-old female Justin Bieber groupie in his adulation of Obama. And it sounds like he’s starting his Morbid Obesity World Tour Presidential Candidacy for 2016. Clearly, what he’s doing is throwing Mitt Romney under the bus . . . or, rather, the Krispy Kreme delivery truck.
I feel filthy and in need of a shower just looking at the photos of the two of them together, hugging and holding hands in a creepy, chubby-chaser kinda way. Obama’s clearly a chubby chaser & Chris Chrispie Creme is an Obama chaser. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. They make the most charming bi-racial gay couple since Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar. Methinks Jack Spratt is jealous of Obama. I can’t decide which of these they resemble more: Abbott and Costello or Laurel and Hardy. Or maybe just the Keystone Kops Meet Water.
Why do you think Chris Chrispie Creme is falling all over himself (and his supersized box of Twinkies) to heap accolades on Barack Obama? Here’s some appropriate theme music to help you think about it . . .
Barack Hussein Obama could eat no fat. Chris Chrispie Creme could eat no lean. And so, betwixt them both, you see, they licked the platter clean.
Tags: Barack Obama, Chris Christie, chubby chasers, famous chubby chasers, Jack Spratt, Sandy