July 27, 2009, - 6:35 pm

Doomed for Divorce: Dumb Wedding Ceremony Soul Train

By Debbie Schlussel

A few years ago, without my knowledge or permission, my then-agent sent my video demo reel to a TLC show that was looking for a host.  The show was called, “Perfect Proposal,” and featured four female hosts helping a prospective fiance plan an elaborate wedding proposal scenario.

When I found out, I was against it.  I think these elaborate scenes that some guy cooks up to ask a woman’s hand in marriage are chintzy and ridiculous.  And I have a theory:  If you spend so much time and effort to ask someone to marry you, even if they say yes, your marriage is doomed to failure.  If you can’t do it in a private setting like a modest dinner out at a nice restaurant, then maybe this isn’t a match made in heaven.  So I turned down the show, but the producers pursued me relentlessly.  I still said no, despite offers of some good money.  This isn’t what I do.  And it’s against everything I think.

And I think the same way about weddings.  These people who do these stupid dances from “Thriller” or “Dirty Dancing” are idiots.  They’re making their wedding a circus act.  Yes, you’re supposed to have a band and dancing and joy.  But come on–imitating Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Pre-Nosejob Grey?  Or Michael Jackson?  Hope you had an ironclad pre-nup.  ‘Cuz I think you’re destined for divorce.  It’s just a theory.  It’s not scientific.  But I bet that if you go back after ten years of that “Perfect Proposal” show and see how many of these elaborate proposals are now divorces,  you’d see a good number of them.

These people who propose to their girl in the middle of an NBA game in front of everyone, they’re idiots.  And I don’t feel for them when she says no while the whole word is watching.  Ditto for this guy from Tulsa, who built an elaborate “Marry Me, Jenny” message using 10,000 dominoes and got rejected.

And so, it’s in this vein that I detest this stupid couple who turned their wedding procession into “Soul Train.”  The video is all the rage of the Net and is all over the morning news shows and cable networks.  But why?  It’s dumb, not to mention low-class and cheap.  And, like I said before, I hope they have a good prenup.  The divorce isn’t far off.  Just like with the “Thriller” and “Dirty Dancing” weddings.

White Men Can’t Dance

Listen to the words of the song, which include, “Double your pleasure, double your fun.”  Hey, isn’t that stolen from a gum commercial?  Why, yes, it is.  Cheesy is the understatement of the year here.  These people clearly wanted to be noticed (perhaps more than they wanted to get married), posting this on YouTube and repeating their sideshow circus wedding dance on NBC’s “Today” show.  Now, they’ll have to top it to get their whole 15 minutes.  What’s next–a sex tape?  Too late, a gazillion others have done it.  They don’t take their wedding seriously. Don’t expect their marriage to be inconsistent with that.

And notice what’s missing from the video: their marriage vows. I guess those were not as important as the bad “Dance Fever” re-run that preceded them (with apologies for insulting “Dance Fever”).

I’d love to do a government-funded study (hey, studies this irrelevant must come with a tax-funding component) on how many of these weddings end in divorces and how quickly.

I’ll bet my theory gets proven.

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46 Responses

I just see a bunch of friends and family enjoying a wedding, to each his own.

Nakruh01 on July 27, 2009 at 6:51 pm

Ya gotta admit, choreographing the thing took some work.

Spiffo on July 27, 2009 at 7:34 pm

These folks seem to be having a helluva lot of fun. Good for them!

Brenda Miller on July 27, 2009 at 7:44 pm

Ceremony must have been held at the church of St. John of Travolta.

tempus fugit on July 27, 2009 at 7:48 pm

Debbie, I think this dance thing is lame. Oh well to each their own previous as commenter made. However those are the type of people I don’t want to be around, thank you. Those men are pansies to go along with this.

CaliforniaScreaming on July 27, 2009 at 7:53 pm

agree with nakruh1 and Daniel on this one

Mike on July 27, 2009 at 7:59 pm

Forgot to mention for some reason I can’t see you marrying people together on that TLC show you mentioned. Or it could have been the greatest reality show on the air. LOL!

CaliforniaScreaming on July 27, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Why the hate…? Let them have their fun, my parents got married with one in the oven, 34 years later, 2 adoptions 5 kids and all the fruits of life, we’re here and happy. Sour grapes Debbie…? I think they’ll be fine, you on the other hand im not so sure. Why the hate…?

eric on July 27, 2009 at 8:33 pm

Is there any doubt now that Debbie is just a bitter, no fun whiner?

Jambo on July 27, 2009 at 8:40 pm

Debbie is right !! Someone, who obviously does not know me too well, sent me this stupid revolting video. Question? If they wanted to dance down the aisle, why didn’t they have it in a beer hall? why drag it into a church? One of the main problems that we have in with our coarsened culture is lack of respect, dignity and reverence. I could see these people doing this as a joke, it’s hilarious, but why drag a serious and somber occasion like a wedding in a church, no less, to act like classless boobs? And their formal dress even added to the absurdity. I am with Debbie. check back in ten or fifteen years.

RoadsScholar on July 27, 2009 at 8:49 pm

I am waiting for pet marriages.

Sorrow01 on July 27, 2009 at 9:14 pm

Debbie, you’re theory is absolutely correct; the elaborate proposals and such signal weakness and lack of confidence in the guy (e.g., public proposals in an attempt to reduce the chances of rejection) and that spells doom in any relationship if the guy is a cuckold or milquetoast. The woman may very well initially “accept” out of self-consciousness or being overwhelmed, but it ain’t gonna last.

DS_ROCKS! on July 27, 2009 at 9:19 pm

I can’t understand subjecting your private life to a reality TV show but this wedding to me looked like good fun and a happy time. Many marriages don’t last. Not just the ones with fun weddings. I wish them the best.

Suz on July 27, 2009 at 9:49 pm

Party on Garth! Marriage is no longer a solemn occasion uniting two people and two families. It’s party time! I noticed the minister is a female. As a conservative Christian, this is a dead giveaway that this is taking place in the “Church of What’s Happening Now” and not the church of Jesus Christ.

Did someone mention pet marriages? I’ve gone on record as saying that once gay marriage is law in California, I’m marrying my dog. I love him. He loves me. Why shouldn’t we be together? Why shouldn’t he be my financial heir?

Kalifornia Kafir on July 27, 2009 at 10:46 pm

I believe that a marriage (between a man and a woman) is supposed to be a reflection of that special relationship that God desires to have with those who worship Him. The joy and celebration at a wedding is only appropriate when it is tempered with respect for the parties involved and reverence for God from whom blessings are asked. Disco-circus dance acts are better placed on a stage at a Las Vegas dinner show than a wedding ceremony.

helotim on July 28, 2009 at 12:13 am

Being an observant Jew, I have to agree with Debbie and the posters here who respect what should be the solemnity of the occasion.

However, I do have to admit that I loved this proposal. I just hope that get back down to reality after that.

Shy Guy on July 28, 2009 at 12:30 am

The guys look like wimps, not so much for the bad dancing but for wearing beige. I hate that color.

tempus fugit on July 28, 2009 at 1:39 am

I’ve got to agree with D.S. Our society forgets the reason for a wedding is to outwardly show a commitment before God and mankind. Save the stupidity for the reception.

hat on July 28, 2009 at 1:51 am

Yes, it will last only a short time. What is conceived in tiviality dies when the novelty wears off. I would say that marriage is effectively dead, we are only looking at its distorted afterglow now. The spring of union and concord is stopped up, and the waters are hopelessly muddied and polluted. Let it die with everything else that was once good and worthwhile, but is now a banality and mockery.

sorrow01 on July 28, 2009 at 2:46 am

Debbie, that video which I have seen a couple of times before tells me that I’M A CONFIRMED BACHELOR THE REST OF ME DAYS! I can’t dance to save a lick!

AND THE IDEA OF USING A CHURCH FOR THAT! ONLY ONE WORD DESCRIBES THESE ACTIONS–BLASPHEMY!

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY ARE COMING TO STAMFORD, CT TO APPEAR ON MAURY, JERRY SPRINGER OR STEVE WILKOS TO ANNOUNCE SOMEONE DID THE NASTY WITH ANOTHER PERSON! DA NERVE OF SUCH PEOPLE!

Bob Porrazzo on July 28, 2009 at 6:41 am

I’m with Debbie on this. People should have boundaries in life. You don’t laugh at a funeral. You don’t turn a wedding ceremony into a night club dance floor.

David on July 28, 2009 at 7:11 am

You nailed it Debbie. These skydiving wedding proposals are plain kitsch.

David on July 28, 2009 at 8:14 am

The priest at my Catholic church where I was married would have slapped us silly if we even thought about doing that.

I agree with hat, save the cute stuff for the reception.

fris1 on July 28, 2009 at 8:24 am

I LOVE THE NEW LOOK DEBBIE! Keep up the great work!

COMMON CENTS
http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

Steve on July 28, 2009 at 9:17 am

Sorry Debbie is wrong.

A wedding is supposed to be joyous and this is as joyous a wedding as I have seen.

There is often so little happiness in this world but in a brief youtube clip lies a million smiles.

I say l’chaim!

PreposterS on July 28, 2009 at 10:56 am

“The priest at my Catholic church where I was married would have slapped us silly if we even thought about doing that”.

That’s mean – setting me up with such a great straight line.

:resisting.the.urge.to.supply.the.punch.line:

dw on July 28, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Its different, looks like they were having a really good time.
We don’t know what the Service was because we didn’t see that. It may have met with all the tradition anyone could want.

So to condemn something based solely on this short video seems a bit presumptuous. The last time I checked this was still a free country, although obama’s trying to change that. The point remains it is their wedding. Enjoy.

Mark on July 28, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Debbie and many of the commenters are simply wrong in passing judgement based on a five minute video. First, more than half of all marriages end in divorce regardless of the ceremonial details. Second, weddings are SUPPOSED to be celebrations, singing dancing (even in the church) is nothing new, and the facts that these kids wanted to do something unique shouldn’t bother any of you (since you don’t know them are aren’t involved… it’s still a free country right?) Third, what’s wrong with females officiating a wedding? While women and men are not the same in every sense, there’s no good reason they can’t make great preachers, ministers, etc. A woman who mentored my faith as child later became a minister, and I was LUCKY to have someone like her to perform our ceremony.

Everyone needs to relax and let others live thier lives. This is a free country and none of you “holier than thous” have the right to judge these kids… that’s for G-d alone! (the dash added out of respect for Jewish readers… I respect others beliefs, instead of trying to impart my own…)

Dont Tread On Me on July 28, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Yeah, such respect for the house of the Lord. Bible says to enter his courts with thanksgiving and praise……..to HIM…….not to themselves. Self indulgent morons.

Hermster on July 28, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Besides………the reception is for music and dancing……and actin` a fool.

Hermster on July 28, 2009 at 12:52 pm

Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, lighten up.

No one can measure the depth of comittment by the wedding couple based on their outward appearance. But that’s my opinion – I could be wrong.

Now that I think about it, I’ve been to some orthodox Jewish weddings that were full of the same joyous-bordering-on-silly spirit as this video. Maybe not during the actual ceremony but certainly before and after.

During these difficult times we must remember to respect the respectable, defeat the evil, and celebrate with unbridled enthusiasm the gift of life.

ed on July 28, 2009 at 1:44 pm

The song is a Chris “woman beater” Brown song to boot. People are idiots.

Greg H. on July 28, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Why the hate…? Let them have their fun, my parents got married with one in the oven, 34 years later, 2 adoptions 5 kids and all the fruits of life, we’re here and happy. I think they’ll be fine. Why the hate…?

Michael on July 28, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Question for DS:

In your very first sentence, you state that you had a “then-agent.” If I’m not mistaken, you are a former sports agent, so does that mean that you as an agent, had an agent yourself?

Charles Rector on July 28, 2009 at 7:58 pm

It is very tacky, but also, very cute and they look like they are having a ball. I can imagine that the video will bring joy to them and their kids for years to come.

We have no basis to determine how their marriage might fare, and plenty of standard marriage entrances to near funeral dirges end in divorce. You cannot judge a marriage by how the party walks in, or what music they do it to. We can judge them, ultimately, (in the same way we are supposed to identify Christians), by their love.

Although, as others have said: bad suit colors, some bad dancing, and I would not be caught dead doing that, or making elaborate wedding proposals.

Finn on July 29, 2009 at 1:01 am

That was fantastic. Everyone was laughing and happy. As long as it’s not hurting anyone do whatever it takes to bring happiness to yourself and others. Life’s WAYYYY to short……

Christine on July 29, 2009 at 4:44 am

Debbie, please relax sit back, have a glass of wine and learn to laugh alittle. I’m afraid you can be so uptight sometimes you miss the opportunity to just laugh and be joyful of others and they’re ability to live outside the box.

seahawker on July 29, 2009 at 3:26 pm

What kind of minister would allow their church to be turned into a dance fever freak show?

I am with Debbie on this one ans she is right about how long this marriage will last.

ScottyDog on July 29, 2009 at 6:31 pm

I am 58 years old an I thuoght it was neat. Let’s hope that was just the start of the wedding an they got down to more at hand. Just think they (if they stay together) will look back on this an say it was put on world wide media.

paul on July 29, 2009 at 7:45 pm

I am with Debbie.
This was a humiliation…
Take it to the trailer park.

rms on July 31, 2009 at 8:28 pm

Um, the “double your pleasure, double your fun” comment you made…that’s the same song…for the gum commercial…

I thought the wedding was pretty cool. It’s a fun change from the traditional walk down the aisle. And consider how the wedding party wasn’t dreading the wedding rehearsal.

erin on August 3, 2009 at 10:21 am

This was the stupidest thing to come out last year. The news was having a giant two-day circle jerkfest over these morons. The Netscape fish tank is a million times more interesting than this bunch of kooks.

joe on April 22, 2010 at 8:05 am

Al Gore’s PDA with Tipper led to their divorce. Cheap and annoying stunts show how little real intimacy there is in our public culture today. And making an ass of yourself doesn’t bring the love between couples truly closer.

Don’t take my word for it. Ask the divorced.

NormanF on June 1, 2010 at 4:50 pm

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