December 14, 2012, - 4:40 pm
It’s another weekend of not-so-thrilling new movies at theaters:
* “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey“: I was so bored during this nearly-three-hours-long “prequel” to the “Lord of the Rings” movies that while I was watching I made up a rap song for my review:
Your story is saggin’;
Great special effects,
But this movie is as thrilling as counting to googolplex;
Way too violent for kids,
Beheadings, dismemberments, and mutilations–gee whiz.
There was much more to my rap (I had almost three hours to compose it), but you get the point. I wasn’t sure what the point of this movie was, other than to make a gazillion more dollars for filmmakers. The movie got much better in the last hour or so, but up to that point, it was a long, slow, boring slog and very desperately in need of editing down to half its time. Dwarves who fight off dog-like, bald, human-beast giants who ride giant dogs, monsters, and so on and so forth. Terrific special effects and computer-generated images. If you’ve seen the other Hobbit/Lord of the Rings movies (which I haven’t seen but am told are better than this), you know what to expect.
However, I thought this movie was incredibly violent for the kids at whom it’s aimed. And it’s full of beheadings–with the heads being shown and thrown around–and dismemberments. Is this really the fare they serve up for young kids nowadays? Sadly, yes, and it’s long been official that there is no childhood anymore. In any event, if I had kids, they would not be allowed to see this movie until their mid-teens, given the graphic violence. I’m being extremely generous in giving this movie . . .
HALF A MARX
Watch the trailer . . .
* “The Central Park Five“: This is excessively-hailed documentarian Ken Burns’ excessively-hailed documentary on the five Black and Hispanic men–Antron McCray, Kevin Richardson, Kharey Wise, Raymond Santana, Jr., and Yusef Salaam–who were originally convicted of the Central Park “wilding” of 1989, in which a jogger (known as the “Central Park jogger”) and Wall Street investment banker, Trisha Meili, was gang-raped and brutally beaten to near-death. The documentary wants us to believe that the men were wrongfully convicted and were innocent victims in all this. But, while they may or may not have perpetrated this brutal, unspeakable crime, they weren’t exactly angels, something the movie whitewashes and glosses over. And I don’t feel bad for them for a single nanosecond, despite Burns non-stop attempts to paint them as innocent victims of institutional, widespread racism. They are no such thing.
Toward the beginning of the movie, the five men brag about how they watched “another group of kids” like them beat the crap out of a White man in Central Park. They talk about it like they enjoyed watching it, and of course, they did. None of them did a single thing to stop that. Later, we find out, that in fact–as I suspected, they, themselves, were beating the crap out of various White people in Central Park. A New York Times reporter sympathetic to them whines about the fact that their lawyers didn’t use this as a defense at trial: that they couldn’t have raped and beaten this woman nearly to death because they were too busy doing it to other people. While it got a lot of sympathy (and typical grandstanding) out of the-then corpulent and less-accepted (the way it still should be) Al Sharpton, it doesn’t get a lot of sympathy out of me that these savages served (not nearly enough) time.
The tragedy in all of this is that the men were released and their convictions were overturned when another man said he did the crime and gave explicit details. In fact, the Central Park Five had all confessed to the crime and given lengthy, explicit details about who did the raping and the beating and the holding down of the victim. They were just as evil as the man who later claimed credit. And I couldn’t care less about them, whether they actually did this brutal rape and beating or merely did other brutal beatings of other White people in Central Park, which it’s been admitted they DID do.
Mainstream liberal movie critics are gushing all over this film, which they see as a classic “Whites Frame the Innocent Black Guys” guilt-inducing flick. That’s not reality. That Ken Burns cares so deeply about these animals who savagely beat random White people in Central Park should tell you a lot about him. And it should color your views of all his documentaries, whether they are on PBS or anywhere else. He has sympathy for these monsters more than he has for their victims . . . or for you. This movie made it official for me: Ken Burns isn’t a documentarian.
He’s a far-left propagandist who has endless sympathy for the devil.
The Central Park Five are no victims. They are perpetrators.
FOUR MARXES PLUS AN AL SHARPTON PLUS A JESSE JACKSON
Watch the trailer . . .
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