May 6, 2013, - 5:19 pm
OMG, I think I just got back from the WORST. FUNERAL. EVER!
Earlier today, I went to the funeral for my 90-year-old neighbor of 11.5 years, who just died of cancer. I was shocked by what I heard. It was the most rude, most absurd eulogy ever. I believe that real Jewish women aren’t rabbis. And that real Jewish rabbis aren’t women. That said, I wouldn’t be writing this if “Rabbi” Keren Alpert hadn’t delivered the most disgraceful eulogy ever–attacking the dead man who isn’t here to defend himself . . . and who was a really good guy. It was jarring for me and many of my neighbors who were there, most of whom are not Jewish and couldn’t believe the cruelty, nor could I.
My poor deceased neighbor was dissed and ignored by his grown, adult children for decades. We, his neighbors, helped him out and one of my neighbors took care of him until just a couple of days before his death, when one of his kids decided to finally put him in hospice with a full-time caretaker. But the children orchestrated the funeral, and they got a dumb, liberal chick rabbi to do their bidding and say absurd things, despite what should have been better judgment by a purported rabbi who is apparently vacant of all decency.
My jaw dropped as the “rabbi”-ette talked about my poor neighbor’s “estranged” relationship with his kids and how because of an alleged “emotional wall” he put up, he didn’t have contact with his grandchildren (a total lie, but even if true, completely inappropriate for a funeral eulogy where the deceased’s good graces should be sung). It was like out of a bad movie . . . and the kind of behavior that was so rotten, I thought it could only be confined to the fiction of movies. But I was wrong. A very disturbing and distressing experience in the very room of the funeral home where I delivered my eulogy of my dear late father nearly six years ago.
Even worse, the “rabbi” chick surmised about whether or not the dead man’s late father (from the early 1900s!) “was possibly” abusive and whether or not my departed neighbor’s deceased mother (who died in the early ’30s) “might have perhaps possibly been a buffer” for him from his father. Um, if it wasn’t so disgusting and tragic, this speculation upon speculation by grown children who didn’t know their father or his life as read by a paid-off tool of a fake rabbi would have been hilarious. Here’s a tip, Rabbi Alpert: if you don’t know whether or not something is a fact, don’t include it in a eulogy.
These “kids” clearly called the shots because this idiotic fake rabbi they paid to tick off their illegitimate grievances in a funeral eulogy of their father, didn’t have the basic human decency to say no . . . or even to be ashamed.
“Rabbi” Karen Alpert read this horrible eulogy as if it were a shopping list she was in a hurry to get done, and what was in it was shocking and entirely uncalled for. I walked out with several of my Black neighbors and begged them not to think that this far-left liberal phony rabbi-ette’s despicable, embarrassing display is representative of my community, my religion, because it is not.
Anyone coming out of a funeral like this would wonder what bleeping kind of people would do something like this, what so-called “religious leader” would engage in this.
I wonder how much “Rabbi” Keren Alpert of far-left Temple Beth El (Michigan’s oldest synagogue, which, sadly, bears little relationship to Judaism) got paid for this travesty. No amount could be worth it.
Disturbing. And I’m sure my poor departed neighbor is turning over in his grave. Just sickening.
By the way, look at “Rabbi” Keren Alpert’s Facebook page profile pic. Yup, she is all into gay marriage (which is against Jewish law), but not into basic decency, which is the basis for virtually every religion, including Judaism. Her Facebook page indicates she told her congregants to watch the movie, “Bully” (read my review), which lectures kids not to bully other kids. But apparently, she had no prob delivering a cruel, defamatory, bullying eulogy to the dead. Priorities.
Tags: bad funerals, funerals, Keren Alpert, mean eulogies, Rabbi Keren Alpert, Worst Funeral Ever