May 14, 2013, - 5:38 pm

Where I’ll Be the Next Two Days – Shavuot 2013

By Debbie Schlussel

I was away most of the day, today and yesterday, helping the good guys, so I wasn’t here as much as I usually am, plus I’ll have a big announcement tomorrow about something that will interest you, something I’ve been working on for some time. But, tonight at sundown, the Jewish holiday of Shavuot ["Shah-Voo-Oat"]–also called, Shavuos–begins and goes until nightfall Thursday. So, I will be out of Internet commission and celebrating the Jewish holiday. I will still post a few things before the holiday begins and I have plenty of stuff you won’t find anywhere else that I’ve prepared in advance for you to read while I’m away. I also have that big announcement.

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Shavuot is the Jewish “Festival of Weeks.” It is also referred to as “Pentecost,” not to be confused with the Christian “Pentecost.” It is one of the three Jewish harvest festivals, and it is the holiday on which we read the Book of Ruth, about the woman who is probably the most famous convert to Judaism.


To my Jewish friends and readers, Chag Shavuot Sameach [a Happy Shavuot Holiday]. To everyone else, the holiday is a celebration of G-d giving the Torah and the Ten Commandments to the Jewish people. On the holiday, men traditionally stay up all night, the first night, in Bible (Torah) study, and we eat dairy foods. As I’ve noted previously, women can also stay up all night, and some liberal Jewish women do. But since we’re not obligated and I’m not a stupid feminist, I take (and enjoy) my non-obligations as a chick very seriously. It pays not to be a feminist. And this is just one more of the many ways.

To learn more about the holiday, go here and here.

Like I said, there will be plenty to read here while I’m gone so please stay tuned, including my big announcement, tomorrow. And I’ll see you back in real time on Thursday Night.

Y’all come back now, ya hear.

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10 Responses

May your Shavuot be wonderful, Debbie!

Michelle on May 14, 2013 at 8:05 pm

Happy Shavuot to Debbie and all the Jewish readers here as well as those other readers who celebrates the holiday.

JeffE on May 14, 2013 at 8:17 pm

Have a blessed holiday, Debbie.

Kent on May 14, 2013 at 8:40 pm

I wish I knew something witty and Yiddish to say here, but we will miss you Debbie Dear.

#1 Vato on May 14, 2013 at 9:31 pm

If I were to write a thesis for a masters degree in Political Science, I think I would title it: “The Ten Commandments As Written by the U.S. Congress.”

Those clods can take the simplest concepts and complicate them to the nth degree of absurdity.

Thou Shalt Not Steal. (Except as prescribed by the 13th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. International collaboration by fixing the price of petroleum is fully exempt from this commandment.)

Thou Shalt Not Murder (except as prescribed by the executive order of the President of the United States. Murder shall not constitute the use of aerial bombardment by the U.S. Air Force by executive order without a declaration of war. Murder of Jews by Muslims is exempt. Murder of Israelis is exempt because everybody knows “they deserve it”.)

Thou shalt not commit Adultery (except when it involves young White House interns. Hollywood stars who support ultra-liberal causes are exempt.)

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor (except when it’s called “America’s Affordable Health Care Act”. False witness against thy neighbor does not apply to anti-Israel media coverage of The Jewish State.)

Know there is one Gd (except when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in California. In California, Gd can only be recognized when Gd interrupts you and says: “Do me a favor. Could you say ‘Gd’ instead of ‘Ma’am? It’s just a thing. I worked so hard to get that title.”)

I am the Lord your Gd who brought you out of the land of Egypt (except if you’re the President of the United States. In that case, go back to Egypt and tell them you’re sorry you left.)

Honor your Father and your Mother (That goes DOUBLE when forging your birth certificate to become President of the United States!)

Keep the Sabbath Holy (Every day is Sabbath if you can take vacation time on the American Taxpayers’ money!)

Thou shalt not worship any graven image (except when the graven image says “in Gd We Trust” or has some other commercial value.)

Do not take Gd’s name in vain (unless you’re singing “Gd Bless America” because you’re glad you’re at a commercial sporting event. Theatrical venues are exempt; Gd’s name may be taken in vain in theatrical venues because it has “artistic value”.)

Thou shalt not covet (except when engaging in “class warfare”. In this case, it is totally justified because nobody could have possibly obtained affluence without “cheating”.)

The thought has occurred to me that I have just started somebody’s “homework”. Oh well! I’m already gainfully employed and content. Let some other jerk steal my idea and make it their own.

Regards,

There is NO Santa Claus (aka TINSC)

There is NO Santa Claus on May 14, 2013 at 10:38 pm

Miss Schlussel, Et Alii:

“Chag Shavuot Sameach!”

Thank you for teaching us that holiday greeting.

Now, if ONLY I knew somebody I could say that to – - – ?

I normally stay up all night long EVERY night, one of the benefits of being an elderly retiree.

Todah,

John Robert Mallernee
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Gulfport, Mississippi 39507

John Robert Mallernee on May 14, 2013 at 11:29 pm

Chag shavuoth sameah.

There may not be a god, but at least we acknowledge the foundation of a civilized society.

Go easy on the cheesecake, eh?

The Reverend Jacques on May 15, 2013 at 3:20 am

Bless you, Debbie, today, on this wonderful Holiday and every day.

Victoryman on May 15, 2013 at 9:34 am

Have a blessed Holiday.

G. R. SCHAROUBIM on May 15, 2013 at 2:44 pm

Debbie

Enjoy your holiday! :)

Infidel on May 16, 2013 at 5:04 am

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