May 24, 2013, - 5:03 pm

Weekend Box Office: The Hangover Part III, Fast & Furious 6

By Debbie Schlussel

Nothing but crappy sequels new at the theaters this weekend. Just ask youself, as we remember our military men who gave their lives, did they really die for this? Oy:

hangover3fastfurious6

* “The Hangover Part III“: Absolute garbage, just like its two predecessors (read my reviews for “The Hangover” and “The Hangover Part II“) . And it’s the least funny of the three. I mean, a giraffe getting beheaded and a a guy with his face covered in dog feces–that’s funny how? It ain’t. Also, for those who are fans of Mike Tyson (not me), no he does not make an appearance in this one.

The “plot”: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Justin Bartha are on the road, taking Zach Galifianakis to therapy, after a family intervention. But they are kidnapped and captured by John Goodman, a mobster, and his crew. Goodman holds onto Bartha while he sends the other three to find Mr. Chow, who has stolen Goodman’s millions in gold bricks. The three go to Mexico, where they find Chow and help him pull off another gold heist, then they head for Vegas, when they realize Chow has stolen more gold and Goodman will kill Bartha if they don’t get the gold back.


It wasn’t that entertaining. Just stupid. It’s time for this trashy set of movies to end. Should have ended before it began.

FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “Fast & Furious 6“: I really liked the fifth installment of the Fast & Furious movies, “Fast Five” (read my review), so maybe I had unreasonable expectations for this movie. It stank. It was the typical Fast & Furious stuff and everything you expect: lots of hot, scantily clad women, lots of cool cars, the old cast of characters and relative newcomers, and lots of action and stunts. But it was the worst of the Fast & Furious movies, and the least believable. The plot and stunts were just ridiculous . . . ridiculously absurd. A lot of stuff didn’t make sense, but, then, this isn’t a deep movie for rocket scientists.

The story: Interpol is trying to find and stop a British special forces soldier gone rogue who is now a mercenary and has or is trying to acquire (I couldn’t figure out which) something dangerous to the world–a computer chip which controls nuclear weapons or something like that (they don’t quite explain it much). So the Diplomatic Security Services agent (Duane “The Rock” Johnson) rounds up the Fast & Furious gang to stop the bad guy and his crew in exchange for complete pardons. He convinces them to get involved because one of the crew, Letty, is with the bad guys.

Nothing objectionable here. Just silly and pointless. Like I said, crummy story, completely ridiculous stunts, completely nonsensical. If you want to put your brain on pause for two hours and watch lots of action, stunts, car chases, and martial arts-style fighting, this is your movie. Otherwise, skip it.

HALF A REAGAN
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Watch the trailer . . .

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28 Responses

“Fast & Furious” is cool escapist summer entertainment. Fast cars, beautiful women and lots and lots of action. A winning formula!

People don’t go to see this for the story to rephrase guys who read “Playboy.” They watch it for the action. The story is nearly always an afterthought in these kinds of movies made for guys.

NormanF on May 24, 2013 at 6:12 pm

If you will care to take notice, more and more American films are being made with almost no plot, or no plot at all. As an example, the latest installment of Star Trek is almost devoid of any plot. These movies are always chockfull of special effects. The movies are marketed to an audience that have little intellect and therefore require films that are nothing but visually entertaining.

King David on May 24, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    @ King David:

    Not disagreeing with the overall theme of your post, but isn’t the latest installment of “Star Trek” supposed to be sort of a “prequel” insight into the Khan character?

    That would make it enough for me to get it on On Demand when it comes out. I NEVER see movies in theaters anymore. Even ones I REALLY wanna see, like Bond movies,or the two upcomming SEAL movies, “Lone Survivor”. based on Marcus Luttrell’s book of the same title, & “American Sniper”, based on Chris Kyle’s book, also of the same name (with Bradley Cooper playin Chris Kyle???).

    Cicero's Ghost (NB) on May 25, 2013 at 9:13 am

They should make a “Fast and furious” movie about how Eric Holder sends guns to Mexico. Based on a true story, of course.

RT on May 24, 2013 at 6:36 pm

    I agree

    Fred on May 25, 2013 at 1:03 pm

I saw “The Hangover Part III” today and disagree with Debbie that it was the worst of the series. Personally, I thought Part II was the worst.

All of the Hangover films have gone out of their way to be politically incorrect, and the killing of the giraffe was just part of that. This is a film targeted to guys who aren’t really the sensitive types.

It wasn’t a great movie, no, but at least it didn’t come with an irritating liberal subtext.

I think the worst flaw of the movie from the point of view of a conservative is the one Debbie suggests: It lacks class. Hookers prance around, coke and drugs are everywhere, “f—” is said about 100 or so times and the sexual humor is weird and transgressive. I did get some chuckles here and there, but Cary Grant this is not.

Burke on May 24, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    I saw the first one and it was plain dumb. I laughed a few times, but there were a lot of scenes that were obviously supposed to make me laugh and yes, they were funny…for a normal 10 year old boy. For example, a man is wearing some type of underwear (maybe a jock strap) and he turns around and you see his bare butt. Also, they show an old man (naked) getting a check up and a few younger men are grossed out by that. Not funny. It’s funny for men who haven’t grown up, like most fraternity brothers.

    David on May 26, 2013 at 9:46 am

It’s cool that tuners & mechanical Joes from around the block can take out rogue Special Forces Brits when we need them to.

P. Aaron on May 24, 2013 at 7:01 pm

“Fast & Furious” is cool escapist summer entertainment. Fast cars, beautiful women and lots and lots of action. A winning formula!

But ask yourself this Norman: why must escapist cinema constantly have a white male villain and completely ignore the existence of Islam, Muslims and the Left? EVERY g*ddamn movie is the product of modern f**king liberalism. You can’t get away from it. I can understand the Left making these movies. They are what they are. But Conservatives and the better non-leftists need to stop making excuses for them. More, there needs to be fierce cultural civil war. Actually, there may need to be a real one by the time this is all said and done. But that’s another story.

These movies are all the product of a diseased culture. There is nothing good about them.

jack on May 24, 2013 at 7:26 pm

I think the worst flaw of the movie from the point of view of a conservative is the one Debbie suggests: It lacks class.

Again, this is more excuse making. I’m not even a Conservative (I’m a libertarian type) but if I were a Conservative I would say that the disregard of “class” and indeed of all higher values by definition makes the movie Leftist. Leftism is many things but one of its core tenets is that there is no objective knowledge, no objective value and thus NO MORAL VIRTUE.

Modern conservatism is f**king worthless when a libertarian has to explain to Conservatives what their damn philosophy is. And it is depressing to see that not even Conservatives are really capable of challenging the Left. Which is why we get movies like the two Debbie reviewed today.

I could spit.

jack on May 24, 2013 at 7:31 pm

Another disgusting and loathsome movie. When we see college curricula devoted to ‘film studies’, or hear about students majoring in film studies, we should keep in mind the content of these films. Should taxpayers really be financing this type of coursework or paying the salaries of professors who teach about these films?

Little Al on May 24, 2013 at 7:55 pm

You mean that they actually made another Hangover movie? As if the other two movies weren’t stupid enough(thank God for Debbies reviews). Yep truly skipworthy and no other comment is needed. Now to Fast and the Furious 6? They lost me with Tokoyo Drift. What was that number 3? I’ll just wait until this one comes out on video. As for The Hangover Part 3. I might buy it(really big might)if I can find it in the Walmart 5 dollar bin. Even then that might be too much money. This weekend it’s the AMC channel, DVR’ed seasoned finalies and the NBA conference finals.

Ken b on May 25, 2013 at 11:47 am

Everyone should BOYCOTT anything coming out of Hollywood. they all have a leftist or Progressive (another word for Communist) agenda.

Fred on May 25, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    @Fred:

    Don’t be fooled. Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers have been leftist/communist/progressive agendas from the very beginning. It is just that in times past they had to deal with the studio system (the business people looking at the bottom line), censorship boards, and a mainstream public that was a lot quicker to ostracize you and end your career than they are now (what happened with the Dixie Chicks used to be a lot more common). But even then, they managed to subversively put in a lot of coded and hidden agenda type leftist stuff into films. The only difference is that it is a lot more open and blatant now. But ask yourself: how many movies can you name or think of that had a bona fide legitimate conservative message, especially when war movies (many of whom were made with the “cooperation” of the Pentagon by the way) and law enforcement movies (the idea that criminals should be captured and imprisoned for their crimes isn’t a conservative one but a mainstream one accepted by like 90% of Americans) are removed from consideration?

    Gerald on May 25, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    It shows how much patience Ms. Schlussel has to continue to review movies the last few years or so with all the crap that’s churned out. But that’s her nature, to be a look out and alert others of what is being done while the rest of us are doing what ever it is that we do.
    Way too much crap out there is being passed off as normal or real when it’s just reprogramming. When ZeroDark30 came out I went to a movie theater in a nice area so as to avoid loud mouthed ignorant masses. I went to the first show as well so as to avoid the crackheads who usually sleep in a lot and tend to ruin the movie experience by being themselves.
    Glad to see Tyson bey didn’t make it into this movie even though it looks like he’s become a buxom buddy to the UFC faux president Dana White. A little stupid hero worship. Even if White doesn’t believe Tyson actually was guilty of the rape he was convicted of, I’m pretty unconvinced too, Teddy Atlas and an undercover female cop are still convincing enough for me.

    samurai on May 25, 2013 at 5:07 pm

As the women have told me, Fast and Furious is about them seeing Walker, Johnson and Diesel. They do not care about the plot.

colt13 on May 25, 2013 at 1:15 pm

“hot, scantily clad women”

That cannot refer to Jordana Brewster or Michelle Rodriguez. Skinny stick figure, masculine looking (and acting) “women” these are, only attractive to the homosexuals and feminists that dominate Hollywood these days. This includes Rodriguez, who laughably claims to be straight while publicly “dating” women and being the “man” in the relationship at that. Welcome to Hollyweird, where the men act and even vaguely look like women (even in action movies) and the women look like little boys (even the alleged sex symbols).

If you absolutely must watch mindless action movies, I recommend the ones from the 70s and 80s. Granted, a lot of them have liberal politics (even the ones with Clint Eastwood, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris and Sly Stallone that on the surface promoted law and order and patriotism) and weren’t exactly family values material, but at least you won’t be brainwashed into equating sexually desirable with “looks like a boy” or “looks like a preteen girl” like the deviant perverts in Hollywood want you to.

Don’t mistake me for claiming that a woman has to have curves like a stripper or pinup model in order to be feminine and attractive or that a man needs to look like a bodybuilder or some tattooed athlete or ex-con. Example: Romancing The Stone had Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner in it. Michael Douglas may not have been Schwarzenegger or even Norris, but he didn’t look – or act – like the fairies Pine and Quinto they have playing Kirk and Spock in Star Trek either. Turner and other 70s/80s action/thriller actresses like Sharon Stone didn’t have comic book superheroine figures but were still plenty feminine (even in roles that required to act tough and do action scenes) without being heroin addict thin or butch (yes, Rodriguez does have some curves but she is still butch, and so is MMA fighter Gina Carano who is also an “actress” in this movie) and also without still looking adolescent the way that a lot of these modern “actresses” do (Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Keira Knightley … that crowd).

In the words of Antoine Dodson, who used to be homosexual (because he was molested by males in his public housing project as a small child) but has now gone straight: keep yo’ kids, yo’ wives (and yourself) from Hollywood’s brainwashing you with their perverse attitudes on sexuality.

Gerald on May 25, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    I liked a lot of Gerald’s post! (Gasp!)

    I didn’t know that about Antoine Dodson (I did assume he was gay) but I’m not for peeps thinkin’ they’re not gay when they actually are. People get hurt and suffer that way. I prefer gay men rather than fake heterosexual ones.

    I really enjoyed his points on horrible Michelle Rodriguez. I don’t know why I never thought of her as a Lezzer but Gerald is right. Wow. She’s such a prize for a Lesbian,too (//)…an uber angry and annoying Latina. What could go wrong?

    Angry women like herself (and to a lesser degree the pop singer known as “Pink”) are no prizes. That kinda napalm anger is deeply rooted and highly dysfunctional and very narcissistic (no one is safe from it…NO.ONE!). Such fun and they have so much to offer! (//) It’s proven by her lack of talent and her inability to play anything but herself (but I reckon she goes for the men in her ‘roles’ and not the broads…).

    She’s stretching out her “acting” abilities but not by much. Her ginormous narcissistic anger has seen fit that she indeed has just a little more of fame than she ever deserved. She’d be toast and long forgotten by now if now for those dopey “Fast & Furious” films. May they finally die after this dumb one!

    Skunky on May 26, 2013 at 12:44 pm

Weekend box-office take:

Fast & Furious 6: $122 million
The Hangover Part III: $51 million

Does that tell us anything about our society?

I think David hits the nail on the head: ” It’s funny for men who haven’t grown up”.

ZZMike on May 27, 2013 at 10:51 pm

Fast and Furious 6 download: http://filespeedy.
net/download/60720/NGU2Z

Download Fast and Furious 6 on May 28, 2013 at 7:54 am

so its politics if you think its liberal but a good message if its a so called conservative message?

I am with the lowering of the bar consensus on these posts but the liberal agenda comments are overstated. You will find what you look for to fit your agenda.
More of a reflection on how easy things have become and a lack of responsibility for society as a whole.

I would say that a movie showing a all powerful government lying to its citizens and manipulating them is more of a anti big government Ayn Rand type message.
Just Saying

sanjay on May 28, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    Sanjay, you’re a known Dhimmi (if not Mooooslim) on this blog so nobody cares what a stealth Libtard like you thinks. EVER.

    Skunky on May 28, 2013 at 6:21 pm

Typical unintelligent and ignorant response. If you disagree with someone simply insult them. I do not need to pass your Muslim or Conservative test.
I am a proud Republican and an American who happens to be Hindu.
Critical thinking and debate has made this country a beacon to the world and led to unparalleled innovation.
The Islamic world suppresses thought, individuality and brain washes their public while sentencing women to a lifetime of second class citizenship.
That is Anti American but apparently you subscribe to that thought.

sanjay on May 28, 2013 at 9:20 pm

Er, Debbie, I notice that you’ve neglected to review the recent animated film, Epic, that was released this weekend.

Any reaction to that?

Adam Sherman on May 30, 2013 at 4:58 pm

I sat with some guys that were laughing out loud at one liners like an early one from Roman..”but I’ve got free tickets to the buffet”

This movie is a great ride.

Enjoyed the fun and the action.

And seeing Letty again.

Panhandle on June 5, 2013 at 11:44 am

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