May 24, 2013, - 5:03 pm
Nothing but crappy sequels new at the theaters this weekend. Just ask youself, as we remember our military men who gave their lives, did they really die for this? Oy:
* “The Hangover Part III“: Absolute garbage, just like its two predecessors (read my reviews for “The Hangover” and “The Hangover Part II“) . And it’s the least funny of the three. I mean, a giraffe getting beheaded and a a guy with his face covered in dog feces–that’s funny how? It ain’t. Also, for those who are fans of Mike Tyson (not me), no he does not make an appearance in this one.
The “plot”: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Justin Bartha are on the road, taking Zach Galifianakis to therapy, after a family intervention. But they are kidnapped and captured by John Goodman, a mobster, and his crew. Goodman holds onto Bartha while he sends the other three to find Mr. Chow, who has stolen Goodman’s millions in gold bricks. The three go to Mexico, where they find Chow and help him pull off another gold heist, then they head for Vegas, when they realize Chow has stolen more gold and Goodman will kill Bartha if they don’t get the gold back.
It wasn’t that entertaining. Just stupid. It’s time for this trashy set of movies to end. Should have ended before it began.
FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Fast & Furious 6“: I really liked the fifth installment of the Fast & Furious movies, “Fast Five” (read my review), so maybe I had unreasonable expectations for this movie. It stank. It was the typical Fast & Furious stuff and everything you expect: lots of hot, scantily clad women, lots of cool cars, the old cast of characters and relative newcomers, and lots of action and stunts. But it was the worst of the Fast & Furious movies, and the least believable. The plot and stunts were just ridiculous . . . ridiculously absurd. A lot of stuff didn’t make sense, but, then, this isn’t a deep movie for rocket scientists.
The story: Interpol is trying to find and stop a British special forces soldier gone rogue who is now a mercenary and has or is trying to acquire (I couldn’t figure out which) something dangerous to the world–a computer chip which controls nuclear weapons or something like that (they don’t quite explain it much). So the Diplomatic Security Services agent (Duane “The Rock” Johnson) rounds up the Fast & Furious gang to stop the bad guy and his crew in exchange for complete pardons. He convinces them to get involved because one of the crew, Letty, is with the bad guys.
Nothing objectionable here. Just silly and pointless. Like I said, crummy story, completely ridiculous stunts, completely nonsensical. If you want to put your brain on pause for two hours and watch lots of action, stunts, car chases, and martial arts-style fighting, this is your movie. Otherwise, skip it.
HALF A REAGAN
Watch the trailer . . .
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