October 11, 2013, - 4:23 pm

Wknd Box Office: Captain Phillips, Populaire, Machete Kills, Blue Caprice

By Debbie Schlussel

One of the best movies I’ve seen all year–a must see in my book–debuts at theaters today. Here are my reviews of what’s new at the box office:

captainphillipspopulaire

machetekillsbluecaprice

* “Captain Phillips“: This is a GREAT movie. It’s thrilling, Islamic terrorists are the villains, the Navy SEALs are the good guys, and there is no mincing of the true story on which it is based–the story of Somali Muslim terrorist “pirates,” who hijack the Maersk Alabama ship. Tom Hanks is absolutely fantastic, and you forget he’s Tom Hanks. The terror Captain Richard Phillips felt is clear and very palpable. You are on the edge of your seat from the beginning of the first attempted hijacking, until the end of the movie. It is worth every of 134 minutes and ten-plus bucks spent on this.

While there is a tiny sliver of PC here–the words “allahu [FUBAR]” are never uttered, for instance, and at the beginning it shows the poor town the pirates come from and how Islamic warlords “force” them to do this–it doesn’t matter, because the truth is clear to anyone who sees this film. Remember, it is directed by Paul Greengrass, who also directed “United 93″ (read my review), another terrific film I’ve reviewed, which doesn’t engage in excuses or political correctness toward Islamic terrorists and their real-life choices and actions. The “pirates” a/k/a terrorists wear keffiyeh scarves, they speak Arabic, and it’s quite clear who they are, even though one of them, at the beginning of the hijacking of the ship, one of them says they aren’t Al-Qaeda and won’t hurt the crew (famous last words also heard on United 93 and all the other planes hijacked on 9/11).






I am reminded of when I walked out of a showing of “United 93″ and I asked two Muslims who were also there if they liked it. They replied, “Well, it was okay, but they shouldn’t have made the villains Muslim.” Muslims seeing this film will feel the same way (or they will pooh-pooh it as depicting the acts of “abeed”–their version of the N-word, as Islam has a strong racist component).

The Somalian Muslim terrorists in the movie are very convincing (especially the leader, played by Barkhad Abdi), probably because they are all played by real-life Somalian Muslim immigrants from Minneapolis (who’ve never acted before). See, we finally found a useful role for four of them, while many of the rest travel back to Somalia (and Kenya) for jihad or engage in Al-Shabaab immigration fraud, run child prostitution rings, and engage in other assorted disturbing violent crimes here in our own country. I would not be surprised if the Hollywood affirmative action fans nominate the Abdi for an Academy Award (he is good in this, though).

While it is true that the movie is based on Phillips’ book, and he comes off as the hero (although he makes some stupid mistakes in sympathy for the terrorists), even if the movie isn’t completely accurate, I still recommend it highly. It seems like it’s close enough. It appears the biggest dispute with the movie is that encompassed by a lawsuit against Maersk by the crew of the ship, in which they allege Phillips put them in danger by ignoring warnings that Somali pirates were targeting ships in that area. But that seems ridiculous because ships need to travel, and they cannot be shut out of the seas by Muslim “pirates.” (FYI, the powers that be are still looking for the $30,000 paid to the pirates, which remains missing. Navy SEALs were forced to take polygraph tests over this.)

To me, the biggest mistake was not arming the ship and its crew with a lot of guns, which was–apparently, at the time, against some international seafaring laws or something (which really isn’t mentioned or noted in the movie, a glaring omission because the question is certainly begged in the minds of viewers). It’s absurd, especially because the Somalis had guns, including high-powered machine guns. And that’s the only thing that gave them power over the ship and its crew.

One last thing: I chuckled as I read a description of the movie in yesterday’s Detroit Free Halal Press, which stated, “a pulse-pounding thriller as well as an exploration of the effects of globalization.” Huh? There have been Western ships sailing those seas–and targeted by Muslim pirates–for centuries. It was a problem, for example, during the time of President Thomas Jefferson (and long before the founding of America). Somebody needs to put down the Thomas Friedman book and get real.

A great movie, very entertaining, and you’ll love it!

FOUR REAGANS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “Populaire“: Absolutely charming and fun. I really liked it. A combination of comedy, drama, and romance.

This French movie, with English subtitles, takes place in 1959 and has clothes, sets, and hairstyles that resemble those of “Mad Men.” It tells the story of a French girl from a small town (Déborah François) who dreams of a job in the big city. She interviews for a secretarial job with an wealthy insurance salesman playboy, who is also a World War II veteran (Romain Duris, a terrific French actor who starred in another movie I loved, “Heartbreaker ["L'arnacoeur"]–read my review). She gets the job because of her speed in typing, albeit with just two of her fingers. And, while she is a terrible secretary, her boss notes that her typing is so fast, she could be a champion in typing competitions. So, the boss coaches her how to type with all ten fingers, and puts her through the paces for various local, national, and other typing competitions. At the same time, she is falling in love with him, but he is cold to her.

While the movie is somewhat predictable, it’s a cozy predictability. It’s a funny, cheery movie, with lots of bright colors and eye candy. It’s a classy movie, with the exception of one sleazy scene akin to a “wet t-shirt,” that took away from the grace and dignity of the rest of the film.

This is not for kids, but for adults, it’s well worth the time and money.

THREE-AND-A-HALF REAGANS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “Machete Kills“: This sequel to the awful illegal alien war cry movie, “Machete” (read my review), is far more awful. While this incredibly violent and bloody movie is supposed to be campy and funny, it’s little of either. Mostly, it looks like cheap, low-budget churn from Hollywood. Yes, there are cool gadgets, such as Sofia Vergara’s machine gun bra. But the movie is dumb, dopey, and a waste of time. I wanted to walk out repeatedly and should have.

The “story”: Machete (Danny Trejo, a real-life convicted violent criminal several times over) is offered a deal by President Charlie Sheen (in this movie, he’s credited under his real name, Carlos Estevez). If he captures the leader of a major drug cartel, he will instantly get U.S. citizenship. So he goes to Mexico to get the drug kingpin, and encounters a lot of trouble on the way there and back.

Another reason not to see this movie: it co-stars Jew-hater Mel Gibson, as a nutty billionaire American arms dealer who is in cahoots with the drug kingpin.

Another indicator of how ridiculous and stupid this movie is: several D-list celebs have small parts in this movie, including John Paul DeJoria, the face of Paul Mitchell haircare products, and Elon Musk, CEO of Space X and Tesla.

Oh, and just in case you forgot, this junky, pro-illegal alien/open borders schlock is funded, produced, and distributed to your movie theater screens by Sean Hannity’s, Michelle Malkin’s, Megyn Kelly’s, and Bill O’Reilly’s boss, Rupert Murdoch. YAY, FOX!

THREE MARXES PLUS THREE OBAMAS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “Blue Caprice“: Absolutely awful and a complete whitewash of Islamic terrorism.

This movie is “based on the true story” of John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo, the Muslim Beltway Snipers. They were Islamic terrorists, who named their “route” of murders, “allah One.” But, to watch this long, boring waste of time, you’d never know it. Islam is never mentioned or shown. Instead, the movie shows us a bitter, mentally ill Muhammad (who is called merely “John,” a sanitized, non-Islamic name, in this movie) is nuts and upset at “the system” because he lost custody of his children from his ex-wife and can’t see them. The movie tells you that this is the only reason he and Malvo murder Americans in and around the Beltway area of Washington, DC and its suburbs.

I was amazed that a story that could be so thrilling in its depiction was such a disappointment. Aside from the absolute dishonesty of this movie, it is beyond uninteresting. I struggled to stay awake. It’s slow, pointless, disjointed, and tries sooooo badly to be “artsy.” It isn’t. A politically correct, white-washed yawner. Skip this.

FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR BIN LADENS
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Watch the trailer . . .

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26 Responses

Great advice, Debbie. Thanks.

skzion on October 11, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    The captain said it was worse than the movie conveyed.

    I truly believe him.

    Darrell L. Hicks on October 13, 2013 at 11:06 am

Thank you for saving us from the Machete Kills nonsense. That movie has been heavily advertised, but not to its advantage. It looks like an modern version of “Grindhouse” films.

worry01 on October 11, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    worry01, funny you should mention grindhouse films. Machete originally started out as a fake movie trailer shown back in April 2007 when “Grindhouse” was released in theaters. For those not familiar, “Grindhouse” consisted of a double feature that included the movies “Planet Terror” and “Death Proof”. Fake movie trailers were shown before the double feature began. “Machete” was one, along with titles like “Thanksgiving” and “Werewolf Women of the SS”. The idea was to give audiences the experience of watching movies at a grindhouse theater. Shortly thereafter, enough interest in the “Machete” trailer got the wheels in motion to produce a feature-length film.

    Alan on October 12, 2013 at 2:54 pm

I love when DS really likes a film because that means it’s REALLY very good. Hasn’t let me down thus far. I’ve never been a Tom Hanks fan…I don’t see the big deal about that Obama-Putin supporter but perhaps this time it will ring true for me. Last time I liked his work was in “Bosom Buddies”.

I am heartened that the film didn’t do a Moooooslim white-wash but I also know DS knows the subject so well it must annoy her when she recognizes the pandering and soft-balling when it comes to films regarding Islam. I get that way when I know a topic well and see the same thing done in a movie, book or doco. Can’t imagine the level or annoyance with her when that happens because she knows the topic so well. I want to scream when it happens to me.

I’m gonna re-read the “United 93″ review but was that the film that Hillary Clinton tried (and did…) censor? If so, anyone know much about that they can share?

I vividly recall the reign of terror of John Allen Mohammad & his Moooooslim Boy Blunder. I didn’t know as much about Islam as I do now but I recall at the time the horror was handled more like spree killings (and they were…) than Mooooslim terrorism…even so soon after 9/11. If I am recalling that correctly that says a lot, now, doesn’t it? Weird how a topic like that can produce such a bland film. I find nothing bland about the exposing of Islam. The pandering and white-washing is beyond tiresome thou’.

Skunky on October 11, 2013 at 6:51 pm

Capt Phillips brought this all on himself by ignoring Maritime Advisory and sailing 400 miles closer to shore than ordered.

bobby99 on October 11, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    CAPT Phillips’ choice of route was likely driven by money/time in transit. He took a gamble that went badly. With the benefit of hindsight, we can say we’d never make a similar choice. But, on the “left side” of the result, some of us might have done the same thing.

    In any event, it gave our special operators an opportunity to remind America what Return on Investment looks like. Seen anything like that from government lately? How about the welfare state? The military is the only place government spends money that truly benefits those whose money is spent.

    GO NAVY

    Pete on October 12, 2013 at 9:42 am

    Hey, bobby,

    We don’t blame victims of crimes for the conduct of perpetrators.

    Darrell L. Hicks on October 16, 2013 at 5:19 am

I’ve been wary of Captain Phillips because of the high probability of Hollywood white-washing the whole Muslim terrorist element and have been anxiously awaiting your review. So glad I’m not going to be disappointed. It’s now back on my must see list. Thanks Debbie!

Denise on October 11, 2013 at 11:33 pm

    So glad to see Debbie’s review of “Capt. Phillips!” I thought the trailers were really good, and that this movie might actually get me into theaters again. But I was apprehensive because of Tom Hanks’ track record with “political correctness.” Now, thanks to Debbie, I am willing to spend money to see “Capt. Phillips” AND “Gravity” in theaters! Maybe a weekday matinee though, so I don’t have to put up with as many teenagers with cellphones.

    I will wait for the DVD to see “Populaire.” Watching the trailer reminds me of working my way through college as a secretary. I was also a two-fingered typist, originally teaching myself on a similar manual typewriter to those in the trailer. BUT I could type 80 WPM with 96% accuracy! With two fingers! I thought I’d died and gone to heaven when my boss bought me an IBM Selectric with a correct key!

    MIGirl on October 12, 2013 at 11:29 am

While I more times than not disagree with Debbie’s picks (I have a system i use to interpret her praise to evaluate if it’s something I’d like) or pans as a matter of taste, she is absolutely the go-to source for honest reviews for offensive (islamo-pandering, antisemitic or anti-American) content.

Thanks again, Debbie, for wading through the muck for all your readers.

DS_ROCKS! on October 11, 2013 at 11:57 pm

My solution to the Somali “pirate” problem? Borrow a page from the British in WW1 and WW2, called a Q ship. Looks like a freighter, but armed as well as any destroyer of the era. One or two of those, and the “pirates” will think twice before attacking another “cargo” ship.

David B on October 12, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    Brilliant!

    Darrell L. Hicks on October 16, 2013 at 5:24 am

I trust your movie reviews. Just saw Captain Phillips. Riveting!

Bob on October 12, 2013 at 3:31 pm

Of course yesterday, Matt Lauer is interviewing the actual Captain Phillips and repeatedly tries to corner Phillips into a discussion of how noble the Somalis are and how tough it is for them.

God I wish Ann Curry would have kicked him in his junk. What a weasel

chuck on October 12, 2013 at 5:04 pm

Boo..you are racist

Bontot mok ko on October 12, 2013 at 7:12 pm

My solution to the Somali pirate problem is along the same lines as that of David B’s above. It differs in the type of ship used. I think we should take USS Iowa or Wisconsin out of mothballs, train up a crew & make them seaworthy with a full loadout of projectiles for their 16 & 5 inch battaries. Then park those battlewagons off the coast near these terrorist hideouts/villages & FIRE AWAY. No Tmahawks needed! Just good, ole fashioned off shore bombardament with heavy, high explosive projectiles. See if the schmucks in those villages aren’t trying to find every white scrap of cloth they can find to wave in surrender after even only 30 mins of a shelling like that! After all, one only need ask the Hezbos & Syrians what it feels like to be in the path of New Jersey’s 16 inch projectiles. “Flying Volkswagons,” I bekieve is what they called ‘em.

As for the movie “Captain Phillips,” I’m glad Ms. Debbie dug it. Like her, & other regulars here, I had the same reservations about the movies as some ,”oh these poor Somali muzzies HAVE to do this for whathef**kever reason.” Glad to see this isn’t the case. All the same, it’ll be something I wait til is on pay per view to see for $7, rather than go to the theater with The Boss & getting sodomized for a ticket & food & STILL having to deal with the usual idiots who go to theaters! At least at home, I can cook my OWN food & pause the flick whenever I want!

Cicero's Ghost (NB) on October 13, 2013 at 5:26 pm

Crew members: ‘Captain Phillips’ is one big lie

http://nypost.com/2013/10/13/crew-members-deny-captain-phillips-heroism/

Steve on October 13, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Lauer on the noble Somali scumbags.

You know, the Marine Colonel’s comments to Mike Wallace on how it is a disgrace to order American Fighting Men to rescue journalists grows truer with each passing day.

Ernie Pyle has been dead a long, long time.

Occam's Tool on October 13, 2013 at 10:41 pm

    OT (& Chuck) I think just recently The Reverse Chia Pet & Numero Uno Ann Curry Hater dork Matt Lauer praised Rev. Al Sharpton.

    That’s all you need to know about that puke. He’s a rancid turd.

    Skunky on October 13, 2013 at 11:22 pm

Going to see it after “Gravity”

Thanks for your great movie reviews.

Panhandle on October 14, 2013 at 10:20 am

Captain Phillips the movie has been SwiftBoated – that is, shown to be another Hollywood lie. It may be a “great movie” but it is fiction according to other crew members.

Sioux-san on October 14, 2013 at 11:33 am

Captain Phillips was an excellent lesson in “gun control”.

Darrell L. Hicks on October 16, 2013 at 5:29 am

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