October 18, 2013, - 6:03 pm

Wknd Box Office: Escape Plan, Carrie, The Fifth Estate, The Summit, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

by Debbie Schlussel

Nothing particularly spectacular in the new offerings at the movies, this weekend:

escapeplancarrie

fifthestatethesummit

mandylane

* “Escape Plan“: Aging action hero hacks Stallone and Schwarzenegger turn to a Muslim as their savior from the evil CIA. No thanks for the propaganda and stupid, predictable plot. Read my complete review.

THREE OBAMAS PLUS THREE BIN LADENS
obamasmilingsmallerobamasmilingsmallerobamasmilingsmallerplus.jpgbinladensmallerbinladensmallerbinladensmaller

* “Carrie“: As I watched this anti-Christian remake of an anti-Christian ’70s movie, based on an anti-Christian 1974 Steven King novel of the same name, I wondered when they will make a movie called, “Karima” or “Hamida’ or “Fatima” about weird, crazy, religiously extreme Muslims and their evil, homicidal daughters with magical powers. Will never happen. Only Christians and Jews are fair game for this kind of disgusting crap.

I didn’t like the original ’70s version of this, and I dislike this one even more. It’s absolutely sickening and silly. I felt like a time-bandit robbed me of nearly two hours of life I’ll never get back.










You know the story: Carrie White (Chloe Grace Moretz) is the daughter of a crazy, extremely devout Christian woman (Julianne Moore). She’s ridiculed, mocked, and bullied by her classmates, especially the popular kids. But, in this movie, the gross factor is revved up. Carrie is in the school locker room shower and gets her first period. She doesn’t know what it is and thinks she’s dying, so she starts screaming that she’s dying. She is covered in period blood and gets it all over her classmates and the gym teacher. The classmates take a video of this and put it up on YouTube to further harass, bully, and embarrass Carrie.

What kind of warped mind comes up with this stuff? Take your pick from anyone in Hollywood aiming for quick bucks. Yup, this is what passes for movies aimed at teens and 20-somethings these days.

And, if you’ve seen the original Carrie, you know the rest of the story: she develops supernatural powers and is embarrassed at the prom, where she gets her revenge. Except that in this stupid remake, Carrie is like a supernatural action hero with the ability to fly and do all sorts of other sorts of similar stuff. All the while, she is wearing a large Cross pendant, just in case you forgot she’s a Christian.

I get the idea that the whacked-out Julianne Moore character is the kind of persona that the delusional Barack Obama thinks embodies religious conservatives across America, when he dismisses them as bitter gun and Bible clingers.

Skip this bigoted, depraved, and dumb waste of digital material.

FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS
karlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgplus.jpgobamasmilingsmallerobamasmilingsmallerobamasmilingsmallerobamasmilingsmaller

Watch the trailer . . .

* “The Fifth Estate“: This movie is about the founding of Wikileaks by Julian Assange (Benedict Cumberbatch) and a partner, Daniel Berg (Daniel Brühl), and it tells the story through the point that Wikileaks discloses and posts hundreds of thousands of classified U.S. State Department cables online.

If you read the newspapers and follow the news, there won’t be anything new for you here. The only thing I learned was that Julian Assange’s hair is an unnatural white-blonde color because he bleaches it, and that this is because his parents were in a cult in which they bleached everyone’s hair this color. The movie makes no other comment about the cult, nor does it say that the cult is the White Brotherhood, a racist group with Nazi ties, which would have been interesting.

What would have also been interesting would have been some sort of background on Assange’s life and upbringing. In addition to having a mother who slept around, had multiple husbands, and was a member of a racist, Nazi cult, Assange was the product of a sexual liaison by his mother and a man she met at an anti-Vietnam protest, for example. None of this is in the movie, and the story onscreen begins with the beginning of Wikileaks. This background would have gone a long way to explaining why Assange is so anti-American and bent on destroying the U.S. But the movie doesn’t even show you that side of Assange or that this was his goal in the Wikileaks mass leak of the cables.

Instead, the movie shows us a self-centered, selfish, ego-maniacal, narcissistic, irresponsible guy bent on releasing any and all information he gets from any source without first doing any editing of the material to save lives or avoid jeopardizing sources and foreign agents and informants. That is all true, and I’m glad the movie did not glamorize or gush over this guy. But Assange’s agenda, as he himself has explicitly said repeatedly, is to bring down America. That goal of his–that ideological drive–is never disclosed in this movie, and it’s, therefore, mostly a sham of a movie.

On top of that, I had to chuckle when a character in the movie–an editor/top reporter for the UK’s Guardian–whines that Assange is journalism without any accountability because Wikileaks refused to edit or redact any of the cables and protect people. It’s ironic, given that, today, the Guardian is engaged in its own similar journalism without any accountability in publishing all of the Edward Snowden information and documents. That jeopardizes lives, too, in the same way Assange did.

Other than that, the movie is long, slow, and dull. There is no suspense and nothing thrilling, other than a brief set of scenes in which a State Department official tries to spirit out of Libya one of her sources in the government before the Wikileaks cable dump gets him killed. And that’s the only other accurate part of the film: it shows how inept and toothless the Obama Administration was and is in response to Wikileaks’ actions. They did nothing but speak loudly against it and little else. Talk is cheap.

By the way, this movie is put out by Rupert Murdoch’s FOX (there’s a quick clip of Megyn Kelly gratuitously inserted into the movie to promote her) and should have had the tagline, “We Distort, You Decide.” They certainly distorted Julian Assange’s evil intentions here. In fact, they left them out completely.

FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS
karlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgplus.jpgobamasmilingsmallerobamasmilingsmallerobamasmilingsmallerobamasmilingsmaller

Watch the trailer . . .

* “The Summit“: This was probably the relative best of the new movies this weekend, with emphasis on the word “relative.” There’s nothing wrong with this documentary about several international teams of climbers who seek to reach the summit of K2, which the movie says is the second tallest peak in the world. It’s just that I felt I’d seen this movie a million times before. I’ve seen TV shows and fiction movies and other documentaries about the climbing of K2 and other tall mountains. And this one is no different.

You know the drill: highly funded, best trained, most dedicated, experienced mountain climbers start the climb with the intent of reaching the summit safely and returning to see their families and hear the accolades. But, because of the cold weather, bad winds, and other conditions that are always present in these climbs, several of the climbs die–via falls to their deaths, exposure to cold weather, etc.–and several more lose their toes and/or fingers. And, then, there are a scant few–like one or two–who make it and come back unscathed, living to tell about it. Like I said, I’ve seen it all before. You’ve probably seen it all before.

The characters are the same as usual in every one of these movies, including this one: dedicated sherpas (many of whom are Muslim, FYI–though the movie doesn’t tell you that, it’s implied or understood), who we are told are “taken advantage of” by the evil Westerner mountain climbers. Some give their lives to help save the Westerners. And, then, there are the “selfish” Westerners who won’t leave their climbing to help fellow climbers in distress. The narrative in these movies is always the same.

It’s entertaining and such, but not that interesting. I could take it or leave it. And this is probably best left to a one-hour special on Dateline or 20/20.

HALF A REAGAN
halfreagan.jpg

Watch the trailer . . .

* “All the Boys Love Mandy Lane“: This movie was made in 2006, and the studio sat on it for seven years. Watching it, it was quite clear why: this movie is a hunk o’ junk. Schlock through and through.

Amber Heard is a beautiful high school student, Mandy Lane, about whom all the boys are crazy. They all want to sleep with her. She and some of them and some of the popular girls at school go to one of the boy’s family’s ranch for the weekend, where sex is had and most of the people are brutally murdered by Mandy Lane’s less popular friend. She’s in on it, but decides not to kill herself with her friend, at the the end.

Um, why did I waste 1.5 hours on this trash heap? Good question. Maybe so you can avoid it like the plague. Don’t see this. A pointless waste of time.

FOUR MARXES
karlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpg

Watch the trailer . . .

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Print Friendly



Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

14 Responses

That would be a pretty extreme first period. More indicative of a hemophiliac than a normal first. She may have been dying.

pat on October 19, 2013 at 2:14 pm

I wanna agree with Pat. First time, first day….you could prolly use the gore to make it plausible if you were filming a horror film about one bloody hamster but maybe not even that as the consistency would be mostly watery…especially in the shower. More like watered down red kool-aid.

My apologies for a post that is most unsavory but I’m attacking a squeamish and TMI issue from a medical (and forensic) point of view and not from a gauche, scatological stance. For those who may not know these things (and gladly…).

I was thinking exactly what Pat wrote and I wasn’t gonna share that but since she posted first I figured, why not?

Skunky on October 19, 2013 at 6:21 pm

” Only Christians and Jews are fair game for this kind of disgusting crap.”-DS

Well that’s because Hollywood movies are made by Christians and Jews.

Lots of Christians love the original movie and book, so don’t get bent out of shape for Christians over ‘Carrie’.

DePalma on October 19, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    Actually, Hollywood is full of agnostics and atheists. They only use religion as a formality, like wearing a suit to an important function.

    I won’t be seeing the new “Carrie” for 2 reasons: 1) I prefer the original better; and 2) Chloe-Grace Moretz needs a big freaking break – the more money you throw her way, the less of a life as a teenager she’s bound to have. At this rate, she might exceed the late, great James Brown as the hardest working human in show business.

    The Reverend Jacques on October 21, 2013 at 1:33 am

These extreme mountain are dangerous and people die climbing them. There’s nothing to be gained on these climbs except for an ego boost. Thus, these people are taking foolish risks. Watch the IMAX movie of others making the climb if you want to see nice views.

David on October 20, 2013 at 11:23 am

so u think stallone will become a muslim now

martin on October 20, 2013 at 1:12 pm

Stephen King has made a career out of portraying Christians as foaming-at-the-mouth psychopaths. He is an evil propagandist posing as a novelist.

Vivian on October 20, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    For the record, there are positive Christians in Desperation and The Stand.

    Miranda Rose Smith on October 21, 2013 at 2:24 am

Why remake CARRIE? There’s a short story, by Will F. Jenkins, called “The Little Terror.” It appears in The Saturday Evening Post Reader of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Selected by the Editors of The Saturday Evening Post, New York : Popular Library, copyright 1937, 1947, 1949, 1950, 1953, 1954, 1955, 1956, 1958, 1959, 1960, 1961, 1962, 1964 by Curtis Publishing Company, Published by arrangement with Doubleday & Company, Inc, pages 199 to 212. It’s about a sweet, pretty, happy, friendly, loving, possibly slightly spoiled little girl who, one day….Well, some child actress could have a field day with Nancy. The film rights would cost about $5.00, if the story isn’t already in the public domain. The scriptwriter, actors and director could create their own characters and make their own mistakes.

Miranda Rose Smith on October 21, 2013 at 2:20 am

The late Mary Elizabeth Counselman wrote a number of fine short stories about children: “The Unwanted;” “Seventh Sister;” “Mommy.” The film rights for any one of these stories would cost a tiny fraction of the film rights for a Steven King story. They might even be in the public domain. “The Unwanted” will never be filmed. It’s anti-abortion.

Miranda Rose Smith on October 21, 2013 at 4:13 am

There are so many great stories out there that deserve a decent cinematic treatment. Sadly, that too is a problem, since interpretation of any novel depends on the whims of the director, the screenwriter, the producer and even the players.

That’s why I’d rather binge-watch Netflix than head to the uberplex.

The Reverend Jacques on October 21, 2013 at 10:54 am

    Dear Reverend: Today’s scriptwriters MAUL great material: FAIR GAME; THE FIRST WIVE’S CLUB; THE BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES;MAN ON FIRE. They have no idea what makes a story moving or interesting. I wouldn’t trust most of them to adapt a Candlelight Romance.

    Miranda Rose Smith on October 22, 2013 at 8:11 am

The Assange information is pretty damn interesting and it’s a damn shame it’s not more commonly known. What a rotten bucket of DNA that screw ball is. What a shame he’s worshipped by the retarded.

samurai on October 21, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    I agree Samurai.

    One of my favourite writers (when writing an article on that creep Assange) commented that the way he has conducted his personal life and the way he comports himself made him believe he “blew more than whistles”.

    All the best things about the story have not been told. That’s why Hollywood sucks the big one from outer space.

    Skunky on October 21, 2013 at 3:48 pm

Leave a Reply

* denotes required field