January 3, 2014, - 4:17 pm

Wknd Box Office: Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones – Horror Movie Aimed @ Latinos

By Debbie Schlussel

There is only one new movie in theaters today, “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones.” And this fifth Paranormal Activity movie is aimed primarily at Hispanics. It is directed by Christopher Landon, son of the late actor Michael Landon a/k/a Eugene Maurice Orowitz. With illegal alien amnesty on the horizon, look for more schlocky movies like this made for Hispanics. It’s a shame Hollywood doesn’t think they (Hispanics, not illegals)–and I–deserve better than this junk.

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This movie is an omen of things to come, as Latinos grow in moviegoing power and drive what Hollywood produces. Last year, I told you about, “Instructions Not Included,” another low-budget film aimed at Hispanics–that one in Spanish–which dominated the top five movies in ticket sales for weeks. The makers of the Paranormal Activity movies noticed that they have a large Latino fan base, so they made a sequel–this one–aimed at them. Almost all of the actors are Hispanic, and one of them–a grandmother–only speaks Spanish. Although she appears only briefly, the filmmakers decided not to provide subtitles for those of us who no hablo–and no comprendoEspanol, like me.






Not only is this movie low-budget, it makes sure you know it. The plot is silly, it’s not very scary–it’s supposed to be a scary movie, and it’s slow and boring, even though it’s only 75 minutes long. I felt like a time bandit robbed 75 minutes of my life (plus a ton of driving time in a snow storm to make it to the screening) that I’ll never get back.

The story: A group of late teen Latino kids who’ve just graduated from high school live in an apartment complex in California and discover that one of the apartments is haunted. It was inhabited by a woman who practiced witchcraft and was found dead inside. They frequent the crime scene, and, soon, one of them, the high school valedictorian, discovers he has super powers and is being haunted by supernatural forces. Believe me, I’m making it sound far more exciting than it actually is. Of the Paranormal Activity movies–and I’ve seen and reviewed all of them–I liked this one the least (tied for worst with the very first one).

Skip this. Vamos mis amigos . . . far away from this movie.

THREE MARXES
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Watch the trailer . . .

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12 Responses

Wait, I’m confused now. Which group is taking over the USA? The wetbacks or the camel jockeys?

FriscoKid on January 4, 2014 at 10:54 am

FK, sarcasm is what is used when someone can’t answer substantively.

Little Al on January 4, 2014 at 12:46 pm

And they’re really doing a lot to integrate Hispanics to understand and accept Western Culture. Do you know anything about Western Culture FK?

Little Al on January 4, 2014 at 12:55 pm

@FK

Does it really matter? The country will not be what it is now. Which Third World hell hole it eventually becomes makes little difference. Its like asking me whether I would rather live in, Meheeco or Iraq.

peace-out, muchacho bean

Senor Dumbassio on January 4, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    That would be Meheeco or Mecca.

    pat on January 5, 2014 at 7:10 pm

If you have sampled what is on Univision and other Spanish language channels, it is pretty dreary fare.

worry01 on January 5, 2014 at 5:58 am

“the late actor Michael Landon a/k/a Eugene Maurice Orowitz.”

I never knew that – hilarious!

DS_ROCKS! on January 5, 2014 at 6:33 pm

You might as well watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCWVM5bUZmE

worry01 on January 5, 2014 at 6:33 pm

The producers don’t translate the one character who is speaking only Spanish because the conceit in all these movies is that these are “found” videos. You the audience are watching what the police are viewing. Sorry, totally plan to see Paranormal Activity. Love these movies. Hate blood and gore, but these movies hit my suspense nerve on the head. And the events occur in Oxnard, and anything set in Oxnard is jake with me.

gmartinz on January 5, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    You are free to waste your Arby’s money.

    worry01 on January 5, 2014 at 6:46 pm

Even the Boston Globe is not too thrilled: http://www.bostonglobe.com/arts/movies/2014/01/06/thrills-getting-old-new-paranormal/dGY7wj81fHCYm8ORhS31tI/story.html

worry01 on January 6, 2014 at 2:48 am

I thought the whole series is lame and drawn out with no real story. Each movie relies on the “jump out at you” scare, which, to me at least, is pathetic for a “scary” movie.

BigKahunaFSU on January 6, 2014 at 10:55 am

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