March 7, 2014, - 2:19 pm

“300: Rise of an Empire”: Sequel is Absurd, Laughable; Make-Out Scene w Severed Head

By Debbie Schlussel

*** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE ***

If your idea of a great movie is a silly, made-up feminist story from the ages when feminism (thankfully) never existed, then “300: Rise of an Empire“–in theaters today, is for you. (I did not see “Mr. Peabody & Sherman,” as it was screened on the Jewish Sabbath, so I could not attend.)

300riseofanempire

The problem with the sequel to the far inferior sequel to the original “300” movie (read my review) is that it tries sooooo hard to be avant garde and disgustingly shocking, that little time was spent on an actual story. And, so, it results in an unintentionally laughable, very dumb movie full of gratuitous gore, blood, and dismemberments for little purpose. The female villain, “Artemisia” (the pro-Muslim VaJINO [my word for female Jews in Name Only] Eva Green), beheads a guy and then makes out with his dismembered head. Yeah, that must be cool because it’s so avante garde and macabre. There are scenes of birds plucking out the eyes from dead human bodies and eating those eyes. And Artemisia wears a head and cuff arm bracelets made of human hair. *** UPDATE: And don’t forget the ludicrous dialogue with lines like, “You fight harder than you f—;” and, “You’re thinking with your c-ck.” Yay, let’s hear it for modern civilization and Western culture!END UPDATE ***

Then, there’s the graphic, semi-porn sex scene between Artemisia and the protagonist Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton) that tries so hard to be shocking and depraved that it just made me laugh out loud instead. It was unintentionally funny, as is most of this ridiculous movie. I’m sure the fanboy morons will hate on me for admitting this obvious fact because anything based on a “graphic novel”–which is fancy, faux-intellectual speak for comic book–is the gospel for these cerebral slacker boys.







I’m a fan of Stapleton, the Aussie star who plays Themistokles. He’s a good actor and does a great American accent as a counterterrorism agent in the Brit TV series “Strike Back.” But this movie is just stupid, whether or not it is the vehicle that launches him into more Hollywood roles, which I’m sure he’s hoping.

The story: Themistokles, a Greek general, fires the arrow that kills the Persian king so that his son, Xerxes, takes over. The movie is confusing, as part of it takes place during the original “300’s” Battle of Thermopylae, then later battles. But, instead of fighting Xerxes, per se, Themistokles battles Artemisia, who was the dead king’s naval advisor and is his son Xerxes’ military chief. Um, when in ancient times was there a feminist, female general of the Persians? I’d love to know. But–newsflash–Gloria Steinem’s and Betty Friedan’s crap didn’t fly in those days.

Artemisia, who is Greek but hates Greeks, is evil and highly sexual. She vows to beat Themistokles and his fewer men and ships and brings him to her in the middle of the sea for negotiations. The “negotiations” turn out to be the weird, laughable sex scene which ain’t worth your ten-plus dollars. Then, when he won’t join forces with her, he returns to battle and loses a whole lot more men, until finally defeating her in a later battle. The end.

Like I said, there isn’t much story here. Just a lot of fighting and gore meant to shock. No thanks. Just garbage.

Oh, and one other thing: macabre and disgusting for shock purposes does not equal cool and interesting. Just the opposite, actually.

ONE MARX PLUS TWO BETTY FRIEDANS
karlmarxmovies.jpgplus.jpgbettyfriedanbettyfriedan

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28 Responses

LOL yeah I saw the previews and wondered, when in ancient times were women leading troops? It looks pretty supid. And if it looks that bad in the previews, don’t waste your time. In fact, as soon as they announced the sequel, I was expecting some awful title like “301” or “300: Rise of an Empire” or something stupid like that….oh, um, nevermind.

Sean M on March 7, 2014 at 2:33 pm

So I guess what you’re saying is that “300” is a big zero?

Remember people, spread the word to boycott anti-American, anti-Christian, anti-Semitic, anti-Israel Hollywood. The studios will still make money overseas, but they won’t make money on our $10.

Jonathan E. Grant on March 7, 2014 at 2:43 pm

I am waiting for your review of “Noah.” I might make an exception and see that film if it does not pervert the Biblical account too much.

Jonathan E. Grant on March 7, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    I saw something about “Noah” online but can’t remember where. Probably someone posted the below on my FB. I wouldn’t bother because they are dressed in Medieval costume. HUH? I suspect there is an anti-“Crusader”/ anti-Christian theme here. http://www.noahmovie.co.uk/

    Meira on March 8, 2014 at 12:46 pm

Artemisia actually was one of Xerxes’ advisers. She was one of the commanders of the Persian triremes during the Battle of Salamis, the naval battle in which the Athenian navy defeated the Persian navy outnumbered 3 Triremes to one. There is a famous line uttered by Xerxes during that battle as it is becoming clear that Persia is losing. He looks and sees that many of his male navy commanders are losing the battle and being destroyed by the Athenians. But Artemisia is winning and fighting fiercely. Xerxes says something to the effect of “the world has gone mad as my men are fighting like women and my women are fighting like men.” So Artemisia must have been a competent commander. She also was one of the advisers that didn’t want Xerxes to fight the battle of Thermopolae at all as it was tactically unsound for the Persians (a bottleneck in effect).

That being said, I’m sure the movie is garbage as you say as that is all Leftist Hollywood is capable of. There is something about modern liberalism that destroys the ability to create meaningful art. I guess if you believe that everything is relative and you worship equality as your god then artistic beauty is impossible to you. If we had a healthy culture there are so many periods in history that could serve as the background for great movies. But all we get is comic book adaptations. Jesus, what a cesspool this time in history is.

Jack on March 7, 2014 at 3:26 pm

Thanks for saving me the 40-50 bucks I probably would have wasted at the theater.

john on March 7, 2014 at 4:00 pm

Hmm, this looks kinda like the history of the Greek Empire this version of 300, if Hollywood would’ve added “Sapphos” and done it correctly, I can guarantee you DS would’ve given it a good review

For those of us who’re well educated, in Greek Mythology, there was a goddess called “Sapphos”, she was born about 630 BC on the fertile island of Lesbos (that’s where the terminology lesbian derives from, and in Ancient Greece, they accepted and tolerated homosexuality before organized religions were formed and colonized societies) off of the coast of Asia Minor and spent most of her life there, she was married and had a daughter, etc.

More likely this film is an “R-rated” film, with the advent a few soft-core sex-scenes in it (not explicit though)!

“A nation is defined by its borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on March 7, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    “Those of us who’re well educated”? Seriously, you count yourself well educated? Certainly not in English. You’re still have trouble distinguishing between “its” and it’s”. Your contemporary history skills are quite poor. As for Greek Mythology, there is no goddess called “Sapphos”. There was a poet called “Sappho”. As for the statement “they accepted and tolerated homosexuality before organized religions were formed and colonized societies,” it’s pretty ignorant in so many ways I’m just going to pretend it didn’t exist.

    Taztigger on March 8, 2014 at 2:51 am

      Doesn’t exist is what I think you’re trying to say. Freudian slip shall we?

      Frankz on March 8, 2014 at 4:42 pm

      Taztigger, I’m a flawed individual, far from perfect, and yes you’re right, Sapphos was a poet and not a goddess, so I messed up there, and yes my education is pretty good (lookit, we ALL make grammar and spelling mistakes, it happens, nobody’s perfect or a robot), and you clearly ignored and bypassed what I said at the end of my comment that Ancient Greece was homosexuality friendly and hospital, in which it was, so you displayed yourself of somewhat being a denier of history. You do also know that Lesbos was an island off of Asia Minor (modern day Middle East) which it was VERY matriarchal. It’s ok if you bash the idea from me, which I can handle (and that’s what you did BTW) and accept, instead of doing a “straw-man” of tossing stones towards glass-houses!

      “A nation is defined by its borders, language & culture!”

      Sean R. on March 8, 2014 at 5:00 pm

        Sappho, Sappho, it’s Sappho, Mr “Well Educated”. “Ancient Greece was homosexuality friendly and hospital.” What does “hospital” mean? As for your original statement “they accepted and tolerated homosexuality before organized religions were formed and colonized societies” I’m not denying the Greek states tolerated homosexuality but I’m in disbelief you can state that homosexuality didn’t exist before organized religions or colonisation. Study up on the Egyptians, Minoans, Carthaginians, Etruscans and Phoenicians, their religions and colonies. And don’t try and claim to be “well educated”. “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates

        Taztigger on March 8, 2014 at 10:33 pm

          Taz, sweetheart, you make many grammatical errors yourself–errors that cannot be written off as typos or autocorrect errors. For example, your writing is full of run-ons.

          It is both hilarious and instructive that you copy and paste this quotation from a work you probably have never read (The Apology, I believe) and certainly do not begin to understand.

          I think I remember you as an annoying libtard. Bugger off.

          skzion on March 9, 2014 at 9:54 am

          So, it looks like the libtard troll Taz is in hiding. Meantime, no other regular confronted him/her/it. Yes, Skunky is needed back.

          skzion on March 10, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    Sappho was not a goddess. She was a poetess and yes, lesbian leader. Men were banned from the island.

    Meira on March 8, 2014 at 12:48 pm

Yes, Black Sabbath and ancient Greece; they go together like . . . like . . . well, that really was a stupid musical decision, wasn’t it.

Harry on March 7, 2014 at 5:11 pm

VaJINO [my word for female Jews in Name Only]

I’ll be laughing all weekend with that one. Ha Ha Ha !!!

Ruckus_Tom on March 7, 2014 at 7:26 pm

“…beheads a guy and then makes out with his dismembered head.”

And that is a blatant rip-off of a most memorable and enjoyable scene from the 1985 movie, “Re-Animator.”

DS_ROCKS! on March 7, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Yes, Artemisia was definitely a real person, and she lead 5 Persian ships during that naval battle.

bee on March 7, 2014 at 9:19 pm

I’m waiting for the documentary about Western nuclear cruise missiles vaporizing random Muslim cities once a week, starting with Mecca.

Oh, I’m sorry, did I offend someone?

Pray Hard on March 8, 2014 at 9:21 am

and I thought it was a bowling movie.

#1 VATO on March 8, 2014 at 12:45 pm

I liked the original if for no other reason than the “I Am Sparta!” scene. Even if it was fake, I love watching Muslims getting slaughtered. Or was it “Persians”? Who cares? Oh, I mean, “What difference does it make”?

(Yeah, yeah, I know, It’s not the “Persian Republic of Iran”)

youtube.com/watch?v=QkWS9PiXekE

Pray Hard on March 8, 2014 at 12:48 pm

In support of those of you who posted that Artemesia was real but didn’t cite any proof, here is what Herodotus had to say:
http://www.stoa.org/diotima/anthology/artemisia.shtml

Meira on March 8, 2014 at 12:51 pm

There are plenty of great graphic novels out there. Not all of them are garbage or childish.

SS351 on March 10, 2014 at 3:25 pm

In case anyone is still reading this, the makeout with the head is stolen from Strauss’s Salome.

skzion on March 10, 2014 at 9:22 pm

Seriously though, Artemisia was real. Did you not do any research before you wrote this article?

Robert on March 12, 2014 at 9:27 am

When synagogues were burnt and fire-bombed daily in the Degenerate’s Country of France, the pubic actress(“Eva Green”)said that the Judeo-Christian(then)AMERICA is full of violence. She is “jewish” only on her mother side.

Lev on March 13, 2014 at 4:17 am

Late to the party, but yes:
1) Artemisia was real and had a real role in that campaign
2) the Greeks not only tolerated homosexuality but in many cultures, such as the Spartans and Athenians, actively promoted it as a method of social movement and control
3) Themistocles is spelt with a ‘c’, not a ‘k’
4) There is plenty of evidence that some form of feminism, if you define it as equality of power between the sexes, existed in a number of cultures and geographic areas throughout the Bronze and Iron Ages.

Kate on March 17, 2014 at 8:48 am

Yes Artemisia was real, but you can’t deny this movie was, while probably with good intentions, completely ruined by feminism and unrealistic unrealism(meaning even unrealism went too far).
1. If I follow the idea of Artemisia being the best swordfighter of Persia and then suddenly losing that easily?
2. Artemisia telling Xerxes she will take the entire fleet?
3. Sexscene on the boat was just wtf?
4. Entire fleet of persia was much much bigger then the greek fleet and suddenly they are outnumbered like that?
5. While 300 gave us a legendary view of the real legend, this movie is worth nothing anymore. Horseriding over ships, Artemisia fighting is amazing yes but the queen of the spartans comin in the midst of battle in just robes killing fully geared men twice her size with full armor just goes to far.

Energy on June 6, 2014 at 8:27 pm

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