June 13, 2014, - 6:34 pm
Well, it’s not shaping up to be as good a summer at the movies as I’d earlier predicted. But, then, the movies have been going downhill for years (no, decades) now.
* “22 Jump Street“: Hmmm . . . a bad sequel to a bad reboot of a boring ’90s TV series made in Canada. Um, I think I’ll pass. But I didn’t, so I could warn you that you should. And much of the dialogue in this movie openly mocks (and admits) that it is a crappy sequel to a crappy reboot. They are laughing at you–you who waste ten-plus bucks and two hours of life–all the way to the bank. Suckers!
And while the movie is mostly incredibly dopey, stupid, and not funny, there is one part of it that is hilarious and priceless. Jonah Hill mocks slam poetry morons (a/k/a lefties) and it is a GREAT scene. If I could have just watched that (and the closing credits, which feature amusing ideas for more sequels), I’d have loved this movie. But, sadly, the rest of the movie is sophomoric, juvenile, and looks like someone from “MTV Spring Break” wrote it.
And I can’t ignore the fact that one of the movie’s co-stars is Ice Cube (slave name: O’Shea Jackson). You know, of “F-ck Da Police” fame. The guy plays a cop, and, yet, he’s a piece of crap cop hater who glorified cop-killing in his crappy NWA rap “songs.” Shameless whore.
The story–well it’s almost the same thing as the first installment of this series: the two inept, screw-up cops, Hill and Channing Tatum, go undercover to sleuth out and foil a drug ring. The first movie took place in high school. This one takes place in college (which is basically high school, these days). They are trying to uncover why a student is dead and how it is connected to the illegal drug, “WHY-PHY” (Work Hard Yes, Play Hard Yes). I’m sure you can guess there are a lot of dumb “wifi” jokes. Too bad the destructive drug wasn’t called Old Bad And Mucus-inducing Awfulness (OBAMA). Then, the punny jokes would actually be funny.
The movie is chock full of silly gay jokes (which is interesting, since Hill spent last week apologizing to the liberal world and entertainment media for his use of the f-word that rhymes with maggot to insult someone from the press). And it’s equally unfunny on all the other stuff (except the slam poetry segment).
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Chinese Puzzle [Casse-Tête Chinois]“: I hated this pretentious, unfunny French “comedy” that tries oh so uber-hard to be hip and far-left on what constitutes a family. An annoying French author goes to New York after his girlfriend (and the mother of his kids) dumps him and moves there. He has also impregnated his lesbian friend, so she can have a baby. She is cheating on her girlfriend with her female baby-sitter. And the author (remember him?) is sleeping with a woman he broke up with in France, who has two kids and is visiting New York. He is also committing marriage fraud, so he can get a green card and then help his new girlfriend commit marriage fraud. Together, they are all friends and family! Happy Father’s Day, idiots! G-d Bless America!
What a bleeping waste of time.
THREE MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS
Watch the trailer . . .
Tags: 22 Jump Street, 22 Jump Street movie, 22 Jump Street review, Casse-Tete Chinois, Channing Tatum, Chinese Puzzle, Chinese Puzzle movie, Chinese Puzzle movie review, Chinese Puzzle review, Ice Cube, Jonah Hill, movie, movie review, Movie Reviews, O'Shea Jackson, slam poetry