June 27, 2014, - 7:18 pm

Weekend Box Office: Transformers: Age of Extinction, Obvious Child, Le Chef

By Debbie Schlussel

So, June is almost over, and this summer is really shaping up to be a season of duds at the box office. Here’s what’s new in theaters, this weekend:

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lechef

* “Transformers: Age of Extinction“: This is the fourth installment of the Transformers movies, and probably the worst. At two hours and forty-five minutes long, it’s the longest of them and probably the most brainless (though there is stiff competition among the Transformers sequels in that category). It’s the same old story you see in each Transformers movie: a group of aliens that transform from cars to giant robots are divided into two groups–the good ones (Autobots) and the bad ones (Decepticons). The bad ones want to destroy the earth. The good ones want to save humanity from the bad ones.

In this installment, Mark Wahlberg plays a Texas single father who is struggling to make ends meet and watch over his beautiful daughter, as she sneaks around with a boyfriend. It’s the aftermath of the battle of the Tranformers from the last installment, where they battled it out in Chicago and left a lot of carnage. In a tired old Hollywood narrative of hatred toward the American military and defense contractors, an evil defense contractor is reviving the Decepticons’ brains and their race by building new robots with their intelligence. This will destroy the world. The defense contractor is aided by evil U.S. soldiers and an evil U.S. national security adviser (Kelsey Grammer, who pretends to be a conservative in real life, but then plays this kind of garbage role). Wahlberg buys an old, junked truck, which he rebuilds, only to discover it is an Autobot. Together, he, his daughter, and her boyfriend battle on the side of the Autobots to defeat the Decepticons, taking them to China for a long, drawn-out battle.

















While the special effects are good, the story is old, tired, boring, and extremely repetitive. The movie goes on way too long as do the endless, repeat battles. There is action overload and little story. But, then, that’s all Transformers movies except the first one (read my review). It gets old fast. I also question the use of at least two four-letter words in a movie heavily marketed to kids and based on toys. It was also funny to hear Mark Wahlberg giving his daughter’s Irish boyfriend a hard time over his non-Texas accent, when Wahlberg makes no attempt to hide his South Boston Texas accent.

I found the movie long and boring and not worth the money or time. But you know what you get when you go to a Transformers movie, or should by now. And given that, and since there’s nothing really objectionable about the movie (other than vilifying defense contractors), I’m being very generous in giving it . . .

HALF A REAGAN
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “Obvious Child“: More like, “Obvious Crap.” The feel-good abortion comedy of the year. An absolutely vile, disgusting, despicable, horrid movie about a crappy in-your-face, loser, 20-something comedienne-wannabe who–in case you didn’t know–is a self-hating Jew and makes sure you don’t forget, as she constantly tells offensive anti-Semitic, disgusting, self-hating jokes about things like having sex with a menorah and lesbians attending “Birthright” (the Jewish program that gives Jewish kids a free trip to see Israel). She unfortunately looks like Anne Frank, and so she tells gross Holocaust jokes, too. Oh, and that’s in the midst of her “comedy” routine about women’s vaginal discharge on panties. If you think she sounds like Sarah Silverman, trust me: she perpetrates the impossible feat of making Silverman look like a lady. Think HBO’s “Girls” on steroids. Low-class to the max. (The movie is also chock full of unfunny fart and bathroom “humor.” Yuck.)

If I were a Klansman or a neo-Nazi, I would use Jenny Slate–who plays the lead role of Donna Stern–and this movie as Exhibits A and B of why I hated Jews. Stern gets dumped by her boyfriend–she shares every detail about their sex lives and his penis in her comedy act–and loses her job within days. She is depressed and gets drunk before performing a very bad comedy set. Then, she meets a Gentile gentlemanly mensch of a guy at the bar and has a one-night stand with him. He, being a good guy, tracks her down and wants to take her on a proper date, but she repeatedly rejects and treats him badly. Oh, and did I mention that she’s pregnant with his kid and hasn’t told him (despite oversharing every single disgusting private detail of her life in her comedy act)?

In the meantime, Donna has decided to get an abortion, which everyone in her life tells her is a very pleasant, easy experience. No big deal at all. No mention that it’s a life or anything else. Donna’s lesbionic roommate, the hideous Gaby Hoffmann, tells her that she had one and it was the best thing she ever did in her life. When Donna tells her mother she’s getting an abortion, the mom reacts, “Thank G-d, I thought you were going to tell me you were moving to Los Angeles. I’m so relieved.” You see, Donna’s mother also had an abortion, and she, too, is so happy she had one. Again, no big deal.

When Donna finally “tells” the guy that she is pregnant with his child and is about to extinguish its life, it isn’t to him personally. Instead, she invites him to her comedy act, and she tells the audience she’s preggers and getting an abortion the next morning, on Valentine’s Day. She jokes and laughs about it. Haha, funny.

The guy is the kind of mensch and decent man you’d never believe in real life would ever be interested in this horrible woman. He would never chase after her and end up with her. She is simply unworthy. As is this movie, which is getting rave reviews from all the mainstream media movie critics, who are all liberals.

The only thing that’s really “Obvious” here is your need to skip this and save 1.5 hours and ten bucks-plus.

FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS PLUS FOUR BETTY FRIEDANS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* Le Chef [Comme Un Chef]“: While this isn’t a “great” movie or anything earth-shattering, it is charming, enjoyable, and a nice 84 minutes of escapism. A stuffy, renowned French Three-Star chef is under pressure from the company that bought his restaurant to use the company’s substandard products and ingredients in his food. And he’s under pressure to reduce costs and change his classic style of cooking in favor of modern “molecular” cuisine. He refuses, and the CEO of the company that owns the restaurant threatens to get his Three-Star rating reduced so the chef can be fired.

Meanwhile, the famous chef’s biggest fan–a sous chef who is a classical cooking perfectionist–keeps getting fired from jobs because he insists that customers eat food only as he deigns acceptable. Soon, the sous chef is stuck painting windowpanes at a senior citizens’ home in order to have a paycheck and hold on to his pregnant girlfriend. But the sous chef cannot stay away from cooking and teaches the home’s chefs how to make excellent food for the senior citizens residents. Ultimately, the famous chef learns of the sous chef and hires him. Together, they plot to keep the three-star rating and foil the threatening CEO.

Light, fun, entertaining, and enjoyable (thought predictable).

TWO REAGANS
reagancowboyreagancowboy

Watch the trailer . . .

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21 Responses

Good weekend to read a book.

john on June 27, 2014 at 7:44 pm

Not surprised about your Transformer review. I haven’t seen the last two and don’t plan to see this one. I am HORRIFIED at Obvious Child. What does that say about us as a culture that such a movie was made? what will it say about us if it’s a smash hit? Horrifying. I had not heard of “Le Chef”. Glad to see there are still people out there who understand that a good movie only needs a good story, not explosions and vulgarity. I’ll keep an eye out for it.

DavidJ on June 27, 2014 at 10:03 pm

Debbie, you are so wrong about “Obvious Child.” I know this because every single publication in Los Angeles is falling over itself writing about how wonderful “Obvious Child” is, a “rom com” for the 21st Century, if you will, and it’s not really about abortion at all. The movie will not do well, but that’s besides the point. There is a small segment of the female population who really, really hate themselves and make some strange bond with female performers who also hate themselves, so Miss Slate has a bright future ahead of her. And apropos of this, you are so right about the hideous Gaby Hoffman.

gmartinz on June 27, 2014 at 10:40 pm

Obvious Child:
Toilet humour rom com meets serious social commentary flick.

Dakuan on June 28, 2014 at 3:34 am

Slags occasionally feel bad after their first abortion

Dakuan on June 28, 2014 at 3:35 am

but soon this feeling passes and before you know it it’s time to flush the next one.

Dakuan on June 28, 2014 at 3:36 am

I wonder who financed and produced “Obvious Child” ie any Arab money ??
The point being that moron liberals don’t see that this movie is a caricature of Jews and advances the idea that Jews are ungodly, lesbians, and evil. I’ll bet $100 that this movie will be shown all over the Middle East and all of the hater Arabs can go “see how wicked they are — they deserve to be destroyed”.
I think that it’s an insidious piece of anti-Jewish propaganda. This movie is the next step after all the movies where every Jewish man is either a crook or a schlemiel.

JimmyPx on June 28, 2014 at 11:03 am

    Probably just as likely inspired by the Democrat convention abortion celebrations in 2012.

    Dakuan on June 28, 2014 at 9:32 pm

Jenny slate was briefly on SNL until she was fired.

Glen Benjamin on June 28, 2014 at 3:06 pm

The chef movie sounds nice—but it’s French. More crap avoided. Thanks, Debbie!

Occam's Razor on June 28, 2014 at 3:47 pm

Took the whole family to see the new Transformers movie in 3D. The kids had a blast and it didn’t cost me and the wife an arm and a leg. The movie could’ve been done with out all of the f-bombs seeing how this is based on kids toys and a cartoon from the 80s. Also when will Hollywood learn that the military and defense contractors are no the evil bad guys. A lot of good and honorably men and women work for my past and present employers. But then again when has Hollyweird ever gotten anything right. As for the other two movies Obvious Child I’ll obviously skip and Le Chef I’ll wait for Le Red box.

Ken b on June 28, 2014 at 4:22 pm

I will see T4 with my 21 year old son. I think including F_uck in a movie to be seen by youongsters is just plain wrong. I liked T1 WITH SHIA AND MEGAN.

When they change actors in a movie like this how do the autobots keep up with the human cast. HA

Hopefully, TMNT with Meaqan Fox will be OK.

Panhandle on June 28, 2014 at 6:09 pm

E: LE CHEF: Does BIG NIGHT ring a bell? That movie has been made already.

Miranda Rose Smith on June 29, 2014 at 4:34 am

    RE: LE CHEF: Does BIG NIGHT ring a bell? That movie has been made already.

    Miranda Rose Smith on June 29, 2014 at 4:34 am

    Reply

    Miranda Rose Smith on June 30, 2014 at 4:42 am

I’m glad I have my collection of DVDs!

It seems to me that Hollywood will never make really good, family friendly, movies ever again.

In looking at my collection of DVDs (and before that, VCR tapes), I notice that 1960 was the before and after dividing year, separating movies that were actually movies, clean enough for the entire family to enjoy watching together, and movies that included nudity, sex, and profanity, even when nudity, sex, and profanity weren’t required to tell the story.

Even Walt Disney movies have gone downhill, and even worse, many of the classic Walt Disney movies, such as my favorites, “SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS”, and, “THE LIGHT IN THE FOREST”, are no longer available for purchase or viewing.

By the way, have you seen the movie, “THE SARATOV APPROACH”?

It’s the TRUE story of two (02) Mormon missionaries who were kidnapped in Russia.

I recently purchased the DVD, and I highly recommend it.

John Robert Mallernee on June 29, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    I just remembered a couple of exceptions, i.e., the original “STAR WARS” trilogy, and the “INDIANA JONES” trilogy.

    So, Hollywood CAN make good, clean, family friendly movies!

    They just deliberately choose not to.

    John Robert Mallernee on June 29, 2014 at 5:50 pm

      What about the originals of SPY KIDS and GALAXY QUEST?

      Miranda Rose Smith on June 30, 2014 at 4:40 am

Regarding, “OBVIOUS CHILD”, I recently saw this comment somewhere on the Internet:

“If an aborted fetus is not considered a person, then why is the murder of a pregnant woman prosecuted as a double homicide?”

Boy, what a GREAT argument!

John Robert Mallernee on June 29, 2014 at 2:44 pm

Most of Hollywood and the Democratic Party, along with many RINOs, should have been aborted. In fact I believe in post-natal abortion of liberals up to the age of 73.

If not for abortion, look how many more liberals there would be in this country, and look at how many mouths the taxpayer would be feeding?

Jonathan E. Grant on June 29, 2014 at 4:10 pm

OBVIOUS CHILD is definitely the movie I do not care to even see if it was free. Just reading the description is what a nasty, horrible woman this Jenny Slate is. I could never understand feminism and this is one example why. I would love to meet and ask a man that would go to the earth’s end to be with this woman. I hate to say it but in the relationship with Jenny Slate, she would be wearing the pants and he would be wearing the panties.

Mario on June 30, 2014 at 6:58 am

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