July 18, 2014, - 7:09 pm
So, it’s halfway through the summer, and it’s been a really crappy summer at the box office. This weekend is no exception. It’s the rule and includes an incredibly racist, anti-American, anti-Christian movie. Oh, and also yet another anti-Semitic movie by Jews. Fabulouth! It will be interesting to see which tops the list of tickets sold, this weekend–Sex Tape or The Purge: Anarchy. Either way, it says something very bad about the American sheep-populated public and the Hollywood that serves ‘em this dung.
* “The Purge: Anarchy“: This is the most anti-American, racist movie I can remember seeing. It is the sequel to last summer’s hit, “The Purge” (read my review), which was, itself, racist and filled with class warfare (so is this sequel). But this second Purge movie makes the first look like a masterpiece. All of the villains in this movie are rich, old White, Christian men and women who own guns and go hunting. While the lead and hero of the movie–Frank Grillo–is White, he is unable to save everyone, and in the end they are rescued by a group of New Black Panther types. Also, Grillo is rescued by two Black women. Get it?
The movie is also extremely violent and bloody, gratuitously so.
The story: just as in the original Purge, this is set in the future (2022 or 2023, I forget which and don’t care, really). The United States has been taken over by some evil, pasty-faced, old White Christian men who pray. Once a year, “The Purge” is held, during which people can kill whoever they want (or rape, torture, and maim them) without penalty for 12 hours. This gets rid of poor people (who can’t afford expensive systems to protect themselves) and “undesirables” (minorities, in this movie). Because of The Purge, the country is able to control the population, and there is less than five percent unemployment. Plus, most people are above the poverty level.
In this incarnation, a single Black mother, who is a poor waitress and has a daughter, has just failed to get a raise. She, her daughter, and her father lock themselves up and get ready to spend Purge night in their inner city apartment. But suddenly dad/grandpa is missing, and it turns out that like other sick, poor, Black men, he’s sold himself to rich Christian White people so they can behead him on Purge night, after, of course, they’ve prayed a Christian prayer to G-d. Soon, the two women (the waitress and her daughter) are escaping various evil men who’ve broken into their apartment to rape and murder them.
But they are rescued by (hot, real-life former male model and soap star) Grillo, a mysterious cop-like figure who is all muscled and weaponed up and out and about in a souped up warrior car for Purge night, on a mission to kill someone. Grillo also saves a young couple going through marital problems, whose car has been tampered with and conks out in the middle of the highway more than an hour before the Purge. Together, they traverse and try to escape the various gangs of killers, thugs, and cretins roaming the downtown area of some unnamed urban area.
And it turns out that the Purges are not killing enough people for “ideal conditions,” so the evil, White males in the government are also targeting various inner city buildings full of poor minorities for attacks and purges.
As I noted, although there are various purgers roaming the streets (all of them White men by the way), the main villains throughout the movie are these wealthy White Christian men and women (and that includes the “New Founding Fathers of America”–who began the new country and the Purge). They are rich, they dress well, they are Christians who pray (before murdering poor Black people), and they are gun owners and hunters. And, again, the heroes are a group of New Black Panther types who save everyone, and the two Black women whom Grillo saved, and now they are saving him.
After all the senseless killing, at the end of the movie, the credits play shots of bloody killing over a snippet of “America the Beautiful.” Like I said, a very anti-American, hateful movie that attempts (very poorly) to make social commentary against us–that we are all racists and murderers at heart. Gee, thanks for the tip.
I’m sure this’ll be a hit.
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Sex Tape“: Yuck. I’m sure the title and the endless stupid hype about Cameron Diaz’s naked butt on-screen will sell tickets to this crappy Bin-Laden recruitment cinema. But this was just pure, unadulterated, vulgar tripe. So incredibly dumb. Oh, and by the way: her ass? Well, it ain’t nothin’ to write home about, even in this age of quick e-mails. The two shots were quick because her butt looks every bit its age, complete with what I call “dimplage.”
First off, Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel are the oldest-looking college students ever. Here’s a tip, make-up artists: putting a wig on a 40-something hag who hit the wall doesn’t make her look like she’s a 20-something college student. And Jason Segel looks like he’s been 50 since he was 13. Doesn’t matter though, because I’d have hated this movie regardless of whether or not they made even a modicum attempt to make this look credible. The movie was disgusting and amazingly stupid.
The story: Diaz and Segel are a long-married couple with two kids in school. Their marriage has become dull because they never have time to have sex. So, they decide to shoot a porn video of them performing every sexual act in the book, “The Joy of Sex.” Segel forgets to erase the video, though, and it is soon synced up to the iPads he gave away as gifts to friends, relatives, and even the mailman, so now everyone can see it. The couple try to get the iPads back before the video is discovered but they are already being blackmailed by someone. The rest of the movie is filled with a silly hijinks on their endless quest to get the iPads back, including a long dog chase and coke-snorting at the mansion of the billionaire who wants to buy Diaz’s blog. Like I said, dumb. The situations and unfunny jokes in this flick make John Ritter’s Jack Tripper and “Three’s Company” look like genius comedy. This was supposed to be a comedy, too, but the jokes were lame and I laughed maybe three times total.
You don’t need to be a prude to know this junk is gross and the raunch is excessive and gratuitous. But that is America. Everyone not only wants to make a sex tape so they can become a multi-millionairess like Kim Kardashian, but they want to watch a dumb movie about two idiots making a sex tape. Skip this like chlamydia. Unless you prefer watching these annoying middle-agers without chemistry making out to watching paint dry. But, for me, they make the metamorphosis of paint from wet to dry very exciting viewing.
Despite the provocative title, the movie was not a turn-on. A turn-off in every way.
FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR BETTY FRIEDANS PLUS FOUR BIN LADENS
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Wish I Was Here“: Yet another anti-Semitic movie brought to you by self-hating Jews. This time it’s writer/director/actor Zach Braff, who endlessly mocks Orthodox Jews and can’t get it right (we DON’T go to “temple,” we go to synagogue; and a Chassidic rabbi modeled on the Lubavitcher Rebbe would NOT be watching cat videos on YouTube). Gee, why doesn’t Braff endlessly mock Muslims? Is he scared they might whine in protest or something? Or just really hates Judaism? It’s probably both. Regardless, I absolutely hated this pointless waste of time. Plus, it co-stars another self-hating JINO (Jew In Name Only), anti-Israel Mandy Patinkin.
Braff plays an unemployed actor with two kids and wife to support–all of whom he doesn’t support as he constantly chases after stardom or even a basic, paid acting job, none of which he ever gets. The movie is billed as a movie about a father who finally faces life, grows up, and takes responsibility. But in fact, Braff’s character never does that. He continues to pursue his stupid dream, while his kids are about to be thrown out of private Jewish school.
Braff’s father, Patinkin, pays for his kids to go to an Orthodox Jewish private school, but he’s stopped paying the bills because he has cancer, is dying, and wants to spend the money on an experimental treatment. And since Braff won’t grow up and get a real job, he can’t afford to pay to keep his kids in school. So he “home schools” them, which consists of taking them to the beach to play and taking them on test drives of fancy sports cars he can’t afford. Oh, and cleaning the pool and repairing the fence in the backyard.
Braff’s brother (played by the loathsome, disgusting, and annoying far-leftist Josh Gad) is a self-centered weirdo who lives in a trailer and is more concerned with building a costume for Comic-Con than he is with caring for or visiting their dying father, both of which he refuses to do.
Oh, and Braff constantly has visions of himself as a superhero or spaceman (I can’t tell which and really couldn’t care less).
In the end, well, nothing really happens except what you’d expect: the father dies. So what?
Braff and Kate Hudson as his wife have as much chemistry as Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz do in “Sex Tape.” As in, ZERO. Watching the two of them making out is annoying and dreadful. Again, get me some exciting wet paint to watch.
I hated this movie and everyone in it, except the daughter. And the Orthodox rabbi–who is otherwise made to look like a moron and a fool–has a great moment when he reminds Braff that G-d doesn’t believe in his “pursuit of happiness. That was Thomas Jefferson. G-d wants you to purse a job to support your family.” Wasn’t enough, though, to redeem this very bigoted anti-Semitic movie. By the way, since Braff hates his own people apparently as much as he hates spending his own money on his own crap, he mooched people on Kickstarter to the tune of over $3 million to pay for this digital excrement. Proving for the gazillionth time that the proverbial birthrate of suckers in America–one a minute–was an overly conservative estimate.
One thing I would definitely say about watching this movie: I definitely did NOT “Wish I Was Here.” Not even for a second.
FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR BIN LADENS
Watch the trailer . . .