October 26, 2014, - 1:08 am

Wknd Box Office: John Wick, Birdman, Ouija, Dear White People, The Blue Room

By Debbie Schlussel

Since I had five movies to review this weekend and a lot of catching up to do after the Jewish holidays, I didn’t finish my reviews in time before the Jewish Sabbath. That said, there’s very little to recommend:

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* “John Wick“: This is Keanu Reeves’ latest attempt to get his movie career back on track. Sadly, for him, it fails. At age 50, Reeves looks all of 30. He’s in great shape, looks very good, and makes a terrific action hero. But this action movie, while starting out with intrigue, quickly becomes a silly, stupid mess. It was incredibly violent and bloody for no reason, and it’s hard to root for a former hit man (Reeves).

The story: Reeves is a former hitman for a Russian mob boss. He’s been outta the biz for a while, and his wife just died of a chronic illness. His late wife sent him a cute dog, and he drives a very cool 1969 Mustang Mach 1. The Russian mob boss’ spoiled thug son sees Reeves at a gas station and wants to buy the Mustang, not knowing that Reeves used to work for his father. When Reeves tells him it’s not for sale, the mobster prince and his fellow mobsters break in to Reeves’ house, kill his dog, and steal his car.







And then the movie gets really stupid really fast. Reeves singlehandedly takes on the entire Russian mob and kills them all (all because they killed his dog). But it doesn’t happen fast. In fact, despite so much shooting and so much action, it’s a bore and just totally unbelievable and silly. I like a good action movie, especially one with guns. This ain’t it.

As a Russian speaker, I noticed that not a single person in this movie who is supposed to be Russian has a decent Russian accent or can speak Russian worth a lick. But for most of the idiots who go and enjoy this waste of time, I’m sure they are too ignorant to notice and couldn’t care less if they did.

Keanu Reeves is better than this.

ONE MARX
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “Birdman“: I had mixed feelings about this. Overall, I liked the idea of this–an actor known for playing a superhero, now in his older years seeking to make a comeback and be taken seriously. And it’s very weird and different, which I usually enjoy. I liked the ambiguity of the ending, too, something that I also find appealing in movies. And it’s very funny. Plus, all of the acting in this is very good. But it’s very filthy, somewhat unnecessarily so. And I could have done without a good deal of the melodrama (such as the scene in which the actor’s daughter yells at him, saying what a nobody he is and that he doesn’t matter).

Michael Keaton, who once played Batman, is Riggan, an actor who is known for playing a superhero called “Birdman.” Now, though, he’s older and washed up and seeking to make a comeback. He’s invested everything he has left into a play that is about to open on Broadway, betting on this to bring him back to former glory. He wears a hairpiece that only covers the hair on the back and sides of his head. He has an alter ego that constantly talks to him, and the alter ego takes the form of “Birdman,” telling him not to let all the lesser-thans get him down. And he levitates and flies . . . or does he? Amidst all this, he must deal with an egomaniacal younger actor (Edward Norton), a recently rehabbed drug addict daughter (Emma Stone), and other forces that seem to get in the way.

While there are several interesting scenes, to me the best was the dialogue between Riggan and the New York Times theater critic. She tells him the night before his play is to open that she’s already written her review because she hates him and all that he stands for. She hates commercial actors who’ve played superheroes and mass-appeal roles for the idiots of this world, and she will write the worst review ever because she wants him to fail. She tells him, “I will close your play.” And that is the attitude of not just the Times’ theater critic, but pretty much every Times’ writer and “reporter” in real life. And you can say that about most of the mainstream media, including FOX News. They all have an agenda and have decided what they are going to tell you to think before they’ve ever investigated.

The movie also shows the power of social media and features a funny scene in which Keaton gets locked out of the theater in his undies. Don’t wanna tell more or it will give the funniest part of the movie away and steal your laughs.

If you’re not a prude and you like interesting and different movies, this is for you. It’s a somewhat dark movie with dark (and quite dirty) humor. But, despite my reservations, I liked it overall.

TWO REAGANS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “Ouija“: This movie is aimed primarily at teens and 20-somethings, as evidenced by the few adults in the movie and very few lines they have in it. But, as horror movies go, it was better than many others I’ve seen of late, as it’s quite scary without being graphic and bloody. The best horror movies scare you psychologically rather than graphically. And this movie does start out well. But, in the end, it kind of degrades into the ridiculous and messy. (I also noted that, finally, there is a movie in which a character is named, “Debbie,” something I rarely see anymore as the generation in which new parents got the “Debbie Memo” is long gone.) But, alas, as soon as I cheered for that in my mind, Debbie commits suicide.)

The story: a teen girl (Debbie) is possessed by demons coming from her Ouija board, after she tries to burn it in her home’s fireplace. The girl then commits suicide. Her best friend, Laine, who doesn’t believe Debbie would commit suicide, investigates and finds Debbie’s Ouija board. She believes that Debbie’s death has something to do with the Ouija board and asks all of Debbie’s friends and her boyfriend to take part in using the board to call to Debbie’s spirit. Soon, demons start appearing and some of the friends become possessed and die. And Laine sets out to fix this.

By the way, the message of the movie is not to play with Ouija boards and not to have them in your home, as they open channels that bring evil spirits to possess you. As I noted, it’s very scary in parts, and I’m not easily scared after so many of these. I also noted that as I was watching this, I thought, “Hmmmm . . . all of these teens are White (though there is an ambiguously Hispanic grandmother character). Will minority groups whine like they did about ‘Friends’ and ‘Sex & the City,’ that none of their people got the chance to be possessed and killed by demons?” It’s not so far-fetched.

It’s an okay movie, but just okay, and only for what it is: a horror movie aimed at teens and 20-somethings. For everybody else, there are better choices.

ONE REAGAN
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “Dear White People“: Oy, I so hated this movie. It was sooooo incredibly stupid and boring. So pointless. I know it’s supposed to be militant Blacks teaching us White people about how racist we are, whether or not we try to be “down wit’ da struggle.” But it’s just sooooo bad, it fails to make the point . . . or any point whatsoever. I was definitely “down wit’ da struggle.” I struggled and struggled and struggled to sit through this movie and stay awake. It was just that dumb, plotless, and hard to follow. This is a definite time bandit that stole nearly two hours of my life I’ll never get back, all in the name of its vast idiocy.

The story: various types of Black students are enrolled at some fictional Ivy League university. They are of various types: a biracial Black militant, a gay nerd, a pretentious woman who wants to be cast on a reality show, the Dean’s son who has a White girlfriend who think she’s being liberated by sleeping with him, and so on. These various types of Black students conflict with each other but all come together at the very end of the movie when the evil White students hold a racist “Black party” of sorts, in which Whites dress up as Blacks. I already made this movie sound far more sensical and interesting than it is. The movie mocks Tyler Perry movies, but those are Shakespeare compared to this bleeping waste of time.

It’s no surprise that this crappy “movie” was funded by Kickstarter-style mooching. Every single major Kickstarter feature film I’ve seen is utter garbage. Dear Black People, please make better movies.

FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS PLUS FOUR AL SHARPTONS PLUS FOUR JESSE JACKSONS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “The Blue Room [La Chambre Bleue]“: I normally like the French crime thrillers and mysteries they show here in the States. But this is an exception. It lacked any suspense, excitement, or mystery. And I found it slow, boring, disjointed, and not tightly written. Plus, there are too many flashbacks and flashes back to the present, making it confusing. Moreover, they never really tell you if any of the people did what they are accused of, and, here, ambiguity is not good for the story.

The story: a small-town married man is cheating on his wife with the wife of the local pharmacy owner. But, then, the man finds himself accused of murder. The movie never makes clear whether or not he did it or if he was framed by his paramour, though it makes implications. Most of the movie consists of the man being interviewed by police detectives and then by some sort of judge in a preliminary hearing. We see flashbacks to what happened. But not much is ever really shown. The movie–even though it is only 76 minutes long–seems to drag on without anything every really happening. We simply aren’t shown much, other than many shots of frontal nudity and sex.

In French with English subtitles.

HALF A MARX

Watch the trailer . . .

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24 Responses

Dear Black Filmmakers:

Nobody cares. Please leave.

PitandPen on October 26, 2014 at 5:25 am

Love the icons… 🙂

bobguzzardi on October 26, 2014 at 9:57 am

Thanks for the reviews Debbie. Worth reading for the rating system (icons) alone.
Dear White People made me laugh.
More fun than actually watching Hollywood dreck these days.

japple on October 26, 2014 at 11:03 am

Omg, I was getting a crown glued back into my mouth when the t.v. starts to show movie reviews with the producers and actors of the black movie being interviewed as if they’re all authorities on how to appropriately act around each other. I guess I missed the memo on how I’m to be lectured to by idiots half my age and experience on what I should be doing and thinking in terms of dealing with some very sensitive racists in my midst. I just groaned as the assistant sat there with her pinky in my mouth. “I take it you’re not going to see that one?” She was amused at my eye roll and sigh and inability to talk. So tired of the whole genre already. We saw how fast the Chapelle ran from his show that was too on target too often. He actually wants us to believe he ended up in a mental hospital? Maybe he did, lol.
ouija boards are not to be played with since the stuff people are trying to summon aren’t really understood. A movie about some extremely creepy things would probably get to me a little too much. Why is it so common among women though? They seem to go to mediums a lot more than guys do as well. Wicca crap is really the thing now with the goth goofs.

samurai on October 26, 2014 at 1:42 pm

Debbie – your 2 hour sacrifice of time to watch dreck and warn us of it is a noble sacrifice. Thank you for your movie reviews. I’ve saved so much time and money because of them.

Concerned Citizen on October 26, 2014 at 3:14 pm

Why support the leftists in Hollyweird by paying to see their garbage? We’ve stopped going to movies.

samatha on October 26, 2014 at 3:45 pm

Sadly I read the reviews to late and pay for the John Wick piece of garbage, stay away from this one.

Felipe Rodriguez on October 26, 2014 at 4:12 pm

???,
????? ????? ????? ?? (???? 2):
????? ?????, ?????? ?? ???? ????????, ???? ???? ???? ?????

That stupid woman was a drug addict.

http://rotter.net/User_files/forum/544d3709534f254b1.jpg

Jake on October 26, 2014 at 4:55 pm

Oh, no Hebrew here =/

I’ll try it in English: Muhammad Mansur, the guy who married Morel, that stupid Jewish woman, is a drug dealer and is currently under arrest.

Jake on October 26, 2014 at 4:59 pm

Thanks so much for your weekly reviews. It’s amazing that with all else that you accomplish in a week that you also provide all of us with your exceptional commentary/reviews. You have regularly saved me beaucoup bucks on a monthly basis and saved me from wasting my time as well. I’ve followed your reviews for years now and can totally depend on your reviews to steer me in the right direction.

I was relieved to read your review of The Green Prince. I had taken his book out of the library and could not muster the interest to even finish it. I quit reading about half way through. He is a phony. I have also read that he says one thing to American audiences and when he speaks Arabic his “message” is qualitatively different in substance and attitude.

Nancy Brenner on October 26, 2014 at 5:47 pm

DS, thanks for this review, I rarely comment and add my two cents on your film-reviews, but since you bought up and added “Dear White People”, I’ll be honest, I’ve never heard of this film and didn’t see any commercial ads with regards to it.

And since I reject white-supremacy (just as any sort of supremacy in general), I irrespectively reject black-militancy as well, both ideologies are repugnant, and this film resembles “postmodernism” 101!

Sean R. on October 26, 2014 at 10:40 pm

dear black people: i’d write something witty here but i need another coffee first…

kirche on October 27, 2014 at 8:21 am

OT:

“nurse” Kaci Hickox is actually a lesbian Democrat activist CDC employee:

http://theconservativetreehouse.com/2014/10/27/activist-federal-healthcare-worker-kaci-hickox-released-chris-christie-forced-to-reverse-quarantine-as-u-s-military-is-now-forced-to-quarantine/

(another ‘Sanrda Fluke’ White House – Media setup?)

nick fury on October 27, 2014 at 2:21 pm

Dear Debbie: allow me to disagree with you on one snall point (without killing me :-))—Riff-Trax often uses Kickstarter to obtain rights to a film to make fun of nationwide on multiple screens.

Even R rated films are made fairly family friendly (for example, the nude scenes in “Starship Troopers” were blocked out by “Gorilla-Cam.”

If you loved MST3K, you’ll love this stuff—the next one is “Anaconda.”

I have no relationship, commercial or otherwise, with Mike, Bill, or Kevin. It should be noted that the head writer, Michael J Nelson, is a devout Protestant, although he likes his off-color jokes.

Thank you for your sacrifice, Deb.

Otherwise, I think I’ll just buy the popcorn these days—support my local theatre, and don’t see the movies. Sigh.

Occam's Tool on October 27, 2014 at 5:38 pm

We stopped going to movies around 10 years ago. Why support the Hollywood left which are our enemy? All of Hollywood support the Democrats (the new Commie Party) and push their agenda through their movies. BOYCOTT ALL OF HOLLYWOOD. The movies are trash compared to the great movies of the 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.

Fred on October 28, 2014 at 8:01 am

Debbie, I liked your review of John Wick. I agree completely with what you said: “…it’s a bore and just totally unbelievable and silly. I like a good action movie, especially one with guns. This ain’t it.”

Interesting that Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 86% positive rating. Actually, your own evaluation of one Marx was perfect.

Supposedly conservatives should love this movie because there was everything conservatives are expected to like: guns, violence, bad guys, a slickly stoic hero. But you were right that this was an empty waste of time. The moral of the film seems to have been that if someone kills our puppy, we should go out and slaughter 200 or so mafia types. This is related to X-Generation social nihilism and narcissism: find your own cause, any cause, and get satisfaction by wreaking havoc.

Every time I see a film that has an outer surface covering of conservatism but inside is corrupt and meaningless, I think, “I wonder if Debbie will be fooled by this one and get tricked into thinking it’s good.” That rarely happens, and that’s why I love your reviews so much.

Burke on October 29, 2014 at 12:33 pm

I’ve been searching the web for a long time to find reviews from the conservative perspective. I have a short list of them, but so many “conservative” reviews are liberals trying to hide their true colors.

I really have to stop using Google, since I have a feeling there’s a reason I haven’t come into contact with this website in all the months of searching.

Anyway, glad I finally added another reviewer to the list.

Didn’t realize Dennis Haynsbert from the All State commercials and 24 were Black nationalists.

I’ll bet many conservatives don’t know, and I shudder to think what unsuspecting conservatives would think if their kids started to hold up all these kinds of people (Haynsbert, Freeman, Jackson, Tiger Woods, Oprah WInfrey, half the NFL and NBA, etc.) as role models, only to realize their true colors recently.

Love the perspective, and glad you’re reviewing the movies I don’t want to watch. It’s actually vitally important for someone to keep abreast of the Left-wing and their propaganda, otherwise how would we know about the Bush assassination movie and all the other shenanigans and treasonous behavior.

The vast majority of us turn it off, but that also gives it a void to grow in virulence. Someone has to expose themselves to this, if only to keep the rest of us from being complacent.

I’m glad it’s not me.

Please keep the updates coming; I’ll be telling the guys at work about who’s been selling them All-state insurance – I’m sure there’ll be a few splattered coffee cups when they see the “Dear White People” trailer.

Terry on October 31, 2014 at 5:58 am

Terry, I’m glad you found this site. I hope you will continue to make comments about the films you see and also share thoughts as you did above.

As you say, this site is a goldmine. I have some criticisms about John Nolte’s views anyway as well. Other than that, there’s really no one out there. Yet conservative opinions about films are so desperately needed! Kyle Smith at the New York Post is at least an independent, so that means one out of four or five reviews he writes makes sense.

Debbie is consistent and smart in her intuition and analysis, and, as I wrote above in my own comments regarding “John Wick,” she doesn’t easily get fooled.

She reviews an enormous number of films–practically everything that’s released– and one way this site can be useful is, if you watch a film released a couple of years ago, you can get her perspective by using the Internet and going back to what she said about it when it first came out.

I hope you will keep writing now that you found this site. I’ll be interested to hear your views.

Burke on October 31, 2014 at 1:21 pm

Debbie,

I usually agree with most of your reviews…
but you are WRONG about John Wick! The movie rocks!

Not only was there extreme attention to detail in the different models of guns and their use in the movie, but this is one of Keanu’s best roles since The Matrix!

BTW, Ouija was a terrible movie. Especially compared to movies like Insidious.

Have you had the change to review The Judge? I ended up seeing it by accident, and ended up really liking it.

Reagan on October 31, 2014 at 3:47 pm

Debbie, re your review of “John Wick”: You are apparently unaware of the importance a man places on his best friend and the lengths he will go to avenge his dog’s death. Dogs don’t judge and ask little. And men appreciate this to no end.

Andrew Slater on October 31, 2014 at 10:32 pm

Debbie, judging from Reagan’s and Andrew Slater’s comments, many conservatives, even smart ones such as the type that visit this site, were fooled into thinking John Wick was a conservative movie. I’m glad you saw the truth and wrote your review as you did.

Burke on November 1, 2014 at 10:33 am

Debbie, I wrote some comments about “Horns” today (Nov 2, around 2:30 PST). They never entered onto your movie website and probably were diverted into trash for some reason as spam. If you want to retrieve my comments and enter them, that would be great. Of course, I’m assuming to do so would be easy and convenient for you, and that you might find my comments worth entering.

Burke

Burke on November 2, 2014 at 4:44 pm

Yes,this is 2 1/2 years late. I watched the movie “Dear White People.” Debbie’s review was on point. Now in April Netflix will be broadcasting a 10 episode series “Dear White People” which is being defended as not being anti-white but being about “identity.” What a crock. Of course, anyone on who criticized the new show was labeled a racist. The title of the movie and the show reveal what it is about. Imagine a title “Dear Black People” or “Dear Illegal Immigrants.” We wouldn’t be targeting blacks or illegal immigrants – it would be just about “identity.”

Concerned Citizen on March 16, 2017 at 2:03 pm

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