March 9, 2016, - 2:22 pm

Mitt Happens: About That Romney RoboCall I Got For a Certain Failed Candidate

By Debbie Schlussel

mitthappens.jpgmittromneysad

#MittHappens

On Monday night, after 9:00 p.m., I got a robocall from Mitt Romney urging me to vote for his chosen establishment candidate in the Michigan Republican Primary. And guess who MittHappens told me to vote for?

Remember how sore two-time loser crybaby Mitt Romney lectured us, last week, on why we shouldn’t vote for Donald Trump? Remember how he also said he wasn’t supporting any particular candidate. Well, he lied. ‘Cuz I got that Michigan Robocall from Robo-RINO-Romney. And he told me to vote for . . .

Marco Kinky Boots Rubio Boobio Schmubio. The call began with Mitt telling me how bad Trump is, then how great Boobio is, then again back to the evils of Trump, then reminding me to vote for Boobio.

So, how did that robocall work out?

As you know, Rubio Boobio Schmubio came in fourth. Yup, last place. A complete loser. With zero delegates to show for it. The other three–Trump, Cruz, and Kasickness–got delegates (as Michigan law requires a primary candidate to get at least 20% of the vote to get delegates). So Mr. Gangbang of Eight, Amnesty Pimp Marco got a big fat zero. All his time campaigning here in Michigan got him nothing–a complete waste.

And, frankly, the bigger loser is MittHappens Romney. He showed that not only is he a two time loser and a complete crybaby whiner, but he also has ZERO influence on voters in the state that he once called home, where his dad was Governor, and where his niece, the useless RINO (and daughter of pretentious Jew-hating slut Ronna Romney) Ronna Romney McDaniel is the “Chair” (yup, a piece of furniture) of the Michigan Republican Party.

ZERO influence for Romney. His candidate comes in DEAD last. And gets no delegates.

Whatta way to write the epitaph to your political career.

How you like them Trump Steaks now, Godfather of ObamaCare?

Mitt Happens. (With apologies to excrement for the comparison.)

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31 Responses

If Mittens had only shown a fraction of the energy and dedication he’s put into sidelining Trump as the GOP front-runner into defeating Obama, he would be running for his second term today.

Can you say sour grapes? I’m not a fan of Trump but he has a good point.

With a friend like Mitt Romney, you don’t need an enemy.

After last night, good riddance to him and the GOP establishment trash for whom he fronted.

And the candidate they touted as the “electable” guy to defeat Hillary Clinton.

Cankles is laughing so hard at their absurd fantasy of Boobio as the next-gen hope of the GOP.

NormanF on March 9, 2016 at 2:47 pm

Always wondered what Obama got on Romney – he certainly seemed to throw the game to Obama after the first debate, so one assumes there was a “sit-down” at that stage.

Of course, we know that the Obamites are not above the odd murder (e.g. Donald Young, Cam Kuwata, Seal Team 6). This point may also have been put to Mitt at that time, perhaps illustrated with photographs of family members.

Guardian Angel on March 9, 2016 at 3:19 pm

Romney should write a book (along with the rest of the GOP): How To Lose – Every Time.

Hillel on March 9, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    Hmmmmmm. DOUBLE hmmmmmmmm.

    Would you believe . . .

    The Fart Of The Schlemiel?

    Alfredo from Puerto Rico on March 10, 2016 at 12:14 am

Mitt Romney and his Republican Establishment pals discovered that they had no clout in Michigan. They put in the maximum effort into a state that should have been easy, but came in dead last. Doesn’t this remind you of Mitt Romney’s 2012 campaign? Barack Obama had a weak economy and an unpopular health care reform on his back, but Mitt Romney could still not score.

Worry on March 9, 2016 at 4:02 pm

Mitt Romney would have been better off if he had just remained silent. After claiming that he would endorse no one, his prompt support for Rubio in Michigan looked absolutely rank. Mitt Romney, despite is efforts to project a clean image, is just as dirty as any machine politician.

Worry on March 9, 2016 at 4:13 pm

I’ve forgotten what year it was, but when Mitt Romney was campaigning to be the Republican candidate for President of the United States, I was living in Washington, D.C. at the Ol’ Soldiers’ Home.

Knowing that I was a member of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints, during chow at our mess hall, guys would ask me if I would vote for Mitt Romney, since he and I were both Mormons.

My reply was that I would love to see a Mormon in the White House, but not THAT Mormon.

I want a Mormon in the White House who is truly a Mormon and an American, with no apologies.

I particularly loathe any Latter-day Saint who is embarrassed by, and apologizes for, the history and/or theology of our Church and our religion.

Also, I was a soldier in Viet Nam, and Mitt Romney was not.

Just so all you folks are aware, in The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints, we sincerely believe and profess that the United States of America is our Promised Land, and that our Constitution of the United States of America is a sacred, divinely inspired document, written by men whom God raised up for that very purpose.

Thus, I seek a candidate who actively and sincerely believes in the Holy Bible and the Constitution, a standard which automatically eliminates from consideration any and all current members of the Republican Party and the Democratic Party.

So, who or what is left that I can, with a clear conscience, vote for?

Maybe the Constitution Party, or maybe the American Independent Party?

John Robert Mallernee on March 9, 2016 at 4:35 pm

My response was lost in Cyberspace.

John Robert Mallernee on March 9, 2016 at 4:39 pm

Marco Kinky Boots Rubio

Awesome!

Debbie’s on a roll!

DS_ROCKS! on March 9, 2016 at 4:39 pm

Great post. Yeah Kinky Boots so fitting, I have a female co-worker from Florida that use to party hard, she remembers those foam parties, her college roommate was gayyyyyy, it’s real people

MrBigBrain on March 9, 2016 at 11:08 pm

Van Jones is annoying. Over dramatic nincompoop. Get better CNN

MrBigBrain on March 9, 2016 at 11:15 pm

How did you come up with the name Kasickness? Can’t stand that arrogant jerk by the way, telling Bible-believing Christians among others that they should just shut-up and bake the cake for the gay wedding. Can’t believe people are calling him the “adult in the room.” Can’t imagine having to listen to his elitist mouth for four years.

Daniel Middleman on March 10, 2016 at 2:49 am

I don’t know if this is true but I could’ve sworn I heard that Romney was doing robo-calls for more than one candidate, I suppose depending on which state was involved.

Daniel Middleman on March 10, 2016 at 2:52 am

Thanks to Romney Trumps winery (actually his son’s) is booming. Every time an anti-Trump establishment puppet opens up his mouth against Trump, Trump’s popularity increases. I wonder why?

Jerry G on March 10, 2016 at 8:01 am

Ya gotta luv Deb’s way with words, dontcha?

for English As A Second Language readers:
ya = you
gotta = got to
luv = love
dontcha = don’t you

Skull on March 10, 2016 at 8:16 am

DS has raised political incorrectness to an art form. 🙂

bobguzzardi on March 10, 2016 at 8:40 am

Rubio like the other pro-amnesty RINOS are traitors

Dinak on March 10, 2016 at 9:52 am

Mitt Romney reminds of a senior enlisted of an officer who fakes fighting for his troops when it counts and then takes all of his frustration on said troops when he himself screws up. If Mittens used 1/10th of the energy he displayed on trying to take out Trump on Alfred E. O’Neumann he would’ve been president. He had the “great orator” on the ropes after the first debate but did a complete 180. My guess was that the binders full of women and the dog on the roof did the trick(remember those stupid things the dems pulled out of their wahzoos about Romney). Now his sorry butt is doing robo calls for Marco Polo Boobio. Mr. Kinky Boots(thanks Debbie I nearly choked on my water on that one)will loose Florida big time but his buddy Kasich will probably win Ohio and he will continue to be an insufferable bore. The “adult in the room” is noting but a self serving RINO putz who is much like you guessed it Romney. Especially the putz part. That also goes for his VP pick Lyin’ Paul Ryan. Attack the man running for president from our side but bend over and take it in the shorts from Obamalamadingdong, Piglousy, and Shadow boxer Reid.

Ken B on March 10, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    Ah, the classic “Lifer”; a yes man to those above him and a tyrant to those below him..

    Todd on March 10, 2016 at 2:29 pm

Like father, like son.

George Romney was just the same. Pathetic.

Red Ryder on March 10, 2016 at 5:02 pm

Hypocritical lying traitorous pig, Mitt-as-in-Shit Romney ( Romniewicz ? ) has filed to run for the Oval Orifice.

May he be ridiculed out of existence.

JayPee on March 10, 2016 at 5:16 pm

Try thinking that a real feminist would not call any woman a slut. Why? Women alone should determine their sex life without any criticism that men are not also subject to. Calling Ronna Romney a Jew hater is a fair criticism. But Debbie think of not condemning a woman for her personal sexual life. This is a technique men use for preventing women from having a sex life on threat of condemnation. Maybe you could find words other than bitch, slut and whore but that aim at your real criticism of a woman’s politics. Thanks for listening.

Sally on March 10, 2016 at 6:02 pm

not too mention he’s a mormon… i mean, if you believe the lost books of the bible in the american west spiel from some known snake oil salesman and then concoct a blasphemous religious cult from all of this nonsense, how can the american electorate ignore that?

kirche on March 11, 2016 at 8:01 am

    oops, typo: to, not too

    kirche on March 11, 2016 at 8:02 am

    Yeah, so instead we got a Muslim communist who hates America more than Romney. Leave religion out of it. There are bad people in all religions. And I can say some disparaging things about any religion. All religions have their issues.

    Romney is a piss poor excuse for a Mormon. Just as John Boehner and Paul Ryan and other Catholic politicians are piss poor excuses for Catholics, following their communist pope.
    And Dennis Hastert is a piss poor excuse for an Evangelical. Etc etc etc

    anon nona on May 31, 2016 at 1:35 am

    I am convinced Romney was used to purposefully lose so that Obama could accelerate the destruction of the country. The Dems and Republicans are ONE party, working with one another to fulfill the elite globalist communist agenda.

    anon nona on June 1, 2016 at 6:26 pm

Typical.
Search on youtube the following:
“republican ad lbj 1964”
Total establishment ads of today re-runs. One even includes a “Governor Romney” referenced attack on then candidate Barry Goldwater…”ruin the party…”
“Goldwater’s links to the KKK” et al etc.
We’re out of time, and they’re out of ideas.

Sick_Boy on March 11, 2016 at 12:22 pm

Regretting that 2012 vote for Romney yet, Debbie? I specifically recall saying it would be better for the GOP for Romney to lose a 45 state electoral WIPEOUT than a respectable 47 percent 2nd place finish.

If I’d gotten my way, Dingleberry Romney would be a radioactive political leper right now. Everyone would laugh at him everywhere he went.

But votes from people like you – for a guaranteed loser – kept his credibility alive.

So thanks, Debbie!

J: Huh? I hated Romney. I constantly attacked him on this site and lost readers and followers because of it. I only voted, reluctantly, for him in the election b/c the alternative was Obama. And, yes, Romney did get trounced per your wish. Did that shut him up or keep the media from giving him attention for anti-Trump crap? Nope. Nothing to do with me. But nice warped, imbecillic “theory” that my one vote for Romney in November 2012 caused all of his attention for the anti-Trump speech. You do realize how stupid that sounds (and is), right? DS

Joey7 on March 11, 2016 at 3:29 pm

I still can’t escape the impression that Romney “took a dive” in the final debate.

just a thought on March 17, 2016 at 12:59 pm

@JayPee on March 10, 2016 at 5:16 pm

(my computer won’t let me “reply” above – sorry)

“Hypocritical lying traitorous pig, Mitt-as-in-Shit Romney ( Romniewicz ? ) has filed to run for the Oval Orifice.

May he be ridiculed out of existence.”

Yes, but you ‘dropped the ball’ as it were. You missed this. Instead of “oval office,” that should be the “offal office”. 🙂

At least, that’s what they have rturned it into.

just a thought on March 17, 2016 at 1:09 pm

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