February 19, 2010, - 11:13 am

Absurdity of the Day

By Debbie Schlussel

Are you kidding me? They are having live “Special Reports” on All Networks for the Tiger Woods Statement? ABSURD!!


I know people are interested in this.  But, really. . . .  Is some pro athlete sleeping around and then apologizing really the stuff of breaking national news that interrupts all programming?  I mean, not that I’d rather watch the hags of “The View.”  But this is ridiculous.

And now this Woods idiot is telling us that the answer to it all is Buddhism.  No offense to true Buddhists, who must be mortified by this.  But, uh, “We interrupt this program to bring you a religious lesson in Buddhism from a spoiled serial mass-philanderer gazillionaire. . . . brought to you by Pampers.”

Oy.  Turning my TV off.

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19 Responses

…AND he’s an anti-semite!!!

njd4 on February 19, 2010 at 11:27 am

He was always will be an asshole.
He does not sign autograph and he was a jerk during Paine Stewart funneral.
He supports a facist regime in Dubai.
He also runs for cover by being a black when people critize him.
He also lied probably lied about Elian beating the sh*t out of him and performance drugs.

madman on February 19, 2010 at 11:33 am

This guy is a clown. Too bad the media acts like he’s so important. Hmm if the mistresses were black and the golfer, white, how would the media react? Does the word leper mean anything?

Joe on February 19, 2010 at 11:36 am

Lame Stream Media

pat on February 19, 2010 at 11:42 am

Hilarious !! Rumour has it that a certain “golf celebrity” has already picked up a new sponsor, Laize potato chips. Lol…

RoadsScholar on February 19, 2010 at 11:47 am

“Just Skrew It”

RoadsScholar on February 19, 2010 at 11:48 am

F Tiger Woods. I didn’t care where he was sticking his greg but to insult my intelligence with his BS on every major network and cable channel…PUH leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze

Tiger is a sociopath, for whom there is no cure, not a sex addict. He is addicted to $$$, which is the only reason he is going through this 12 step charade.

Tiger doesn’t want Elin taking half and he is desperate to get back 80% of his income through sponsorships. His handlers have decided this is his best shot.

Judging from twitter , they are correct. I am surrounded by MORONS, even conservatives who buy into the Tiger BS!

Bonzer Wolf on February 19, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    @ Bonzer Wolf – As a practicing sociopath, I concur with your assessment of “Woody”. We are people with little to no genuine regard or sympathy for anyone else and tend to be shallow, self-serving, narcissistic, etc. We are much more akin to our wild animal cousins, feigning friendship and loyalty to others only insofar as it serves our own best interests. Why, Mr. Woods’ very nickname is testament to his savage, predatory inclinations. This affliction is incurable, but we can become useful, productive assets to decent society with the proper guidance.

    Graty Slapchop on February 19, 2010 at 5:37 pm

This is about like the coverage of the Olympics.

Live events, actual contests of athletic skill stamina and endurance going nearly non-stop for two weeks and NBC (in America) tape delays, edits and cuts together a montage kind of reporting that’s mind blowing in how asinine, VIEW-oriented and stupid as it gets. Talking heads telling me that right after the break they’re going to be telling me what they’re going to be telling me next.

MEANWHILE … actual sporting events are being held, live and with all the drama non-medicated people need.

And now Mr. Woods.

You know you’re totally, completely utterly self-involved when you hold a news-conference to talk about yourself … being a douche bag.

I’m trying to visualize Frank Sinatra doing something like this.

Can’t bend reality that far out of whack.

michael on February 19, 2010 at 12:56 pm

I really don’t care since I never bought into the Tiger Mania and since I couldn’t care less about golf.

I like the George Carlin bit where he said he was tired of the media trying to tell us we had to hold up Woods and Lance Armstrong as heroes.

He’s a typical celebrity who gets the world handed to him on a platter. This is why people who blindly listen to the Tigers and Oprahs of the world such dummies. They live in fantasy land.

Lastly, it sure is great being a black (or sorta black in Woods’ case) athlete. You never have to look at a black woman again with all the white tramps.

Jeff_W on February 19, 2010 at 1:07 pm

Oh, and as a Christian, I’m glad to see Buddhism used as the crutch instead of using Jesus’ name to cover up bad behavior.

Jeff_W on February 19, 2010 at 1:09 pm


You and I could live very comfortably on what Tiger
is paying his PR agents to rehabilitate his image.

When he returns to the circuit, he will be greeted
with a standing ovation, a la Michael Vick. Make it
an ovation as the gallery will already be standing.

El zopilote on February 19, 2010 at 1:29 pm

After what happened with Marv Albert, I am convinced that in a couple of years Tiger will be back and have no problem getting sponsors.

I_AM_ME on February 19, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Why would anybody believe one word out of this serial liars mouth? Has he not been lying to everyone for the past 12 years regarding his so-called squeaky clean, family man, wholesome boy nest door image?
If you believe that, your dumber than a fence post.
“Stupid is as stupid does”….Forrest Gump

Who cares? on February 19, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Tiger, just leave all of us alone for awhile. Please disappear for about a year or so. We already have a president who does apology tours, so a scandalized golfer is not needed.

sorrow01 on February 19, 2010 at 4:34 pm

Is Tiger any different than Wilt “the Stilt” Chamberlain or Michael Jordan in his amourous appetite? It is only the media who have portrayed a false image of a Stanford grad, clean cut,
preppy golfer so that we will be lead into buying Buicks and Nikes. Shame on the media for their deceit.
No one needs Tiger more than the golf industry who will see their revenues slashed by 50% without the excitement that Tiger brings to the game. Like him or not they NEED him or the PGA have to make money showing Jack Nicholas reruns.
As far as an apology, if anyone believes Tiger is no longer a Tiger then they need to buy a Buick and convince themselves it is a Lexus. Will the public believe the Media Lie
a second time?

Tim on February 19, 2010 at 5:56 pm

Sure thing that Tiger’s thought long and hard about today’s performance…the obvious main thrust of his effort was to protect the vast tiger woods business. Getting this money-making machine back out playing is job # 1.

jim crane on February 19, 2010 at 7:04 pm

Wilt Chamberlain was a lifelong bachelor who never put on an act. He even supported Nixon in 1968.

madman on February 19, 2010 at 7:39 pm

I never ever cared for him one way or the other,never wished him ill either, I guess he got his commopens,today a few year later Woods is pretty much a non news and a piece of golf history.

Juan on January 23, 2012 at 8:51 am

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