August 25, 2005, - 4:38 pm

Flabulous Filmmaker Michael Moore Joins Fat Camp

By Debbie Schlussel
Michael Moore has joined the Pritikin Spa to lose weight. The problem is that weight loss programs at the $3,800 a week spa only target bodily fat, not fat occupying the cerebral cortex. Poor Michael Moore.

Count Fatula looks into the caloric conspiracy

In related news, watch for “Flabbenheit 9/11,” Michael Moore’s new investigative movie about Pritikin’s ties to the Saudis, Bin Laden, the Carlyle Group, Bally’s, the candy industry, high fructose corn syrup, dentists, Britney Spears, FOX News Channel, and the tooth fairy. Learn how, together, they have conspired to make Americans like him fat, forcing them to spend big bucks to take it off.

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3 Responses

$3,800 a week at a fat farm? How can everyday man Mike afford it? The poor guy can’t afford good clothes as he runs around in sloppy clothes and baseball hats. If he had that much money I am sure he would be donating it to the poor instead of spending it at a fat farm since he can go down to the local YMCA and hop on a treadmill for much cheaper…and, he can pal around with his fellow common men and women he cares so much about.
BTW, I love how he signs his columns as “Mike” on his web site. He and Oprah, just like us everyday folks!
Take it easy on Mike, Debbie. I think he is one of the main reasons Kerry got defeated, so I am glad the useful idiot is around. It looks like we are really going to need him and his fellow pinkos like for the next election based on the Republican candidates so far.

The_Man on August 25, 2005 at 7:57 pm

Question for anyone. Has everyone seen Mike’s most recent book “Will They Ever Trust Us Again?”? It’s basically a collection of letters from soldiers or their family that they sent Mike and of course Mike only includes the ones that support his side.
My question is, who gets the money from those book sales? Is this book only a collection of letters with just a small intro from Mike? I’m assuming that Moore gets the money from these book sales, and if so that pisses me off more than anything he’s done. Using these soldiers to make more money for himself.

Clompo on August 26, 2005 at 12:19 pm

It’s not that he can’t afford good clothes, he just spends all his money on food. If he’s really as much of a bleeding heart as he says he is, he should kill himself and donate his body to 1,000 cannibalistic third world children.

KnightoftheImpaler on January 4, 2006 at 4:27 am

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