February 25, 2008, - 10:04 am

Latest Global Warming Scare Tactic: “America Will Become Colonized by Giant Snakes”

By Debbie Schlussel
They tried horror movies designed to scare you. Then they tried horror movies designed to scare your kids into scaring you. Now the shrieking global warming crowd has a far more effective new scare tactic. They’re taking advantage of the most common phobia: fear of snakes.
Yes, the latest tack by the global warming fearmongers is that America will be infested with giant Burmese pythons. They say that the population of Burmese pythons–not native to North America–is growing and pushing further north in the United States as temperatures allegedly get higher.
But alleged “global warming” is not the reason the Burmese pythons got here, nor the reason their population is growing. The snakes are here because bizarre, irresponsible people feel the macabre need to own pythons and then set them loose into the Everglades, woods, and other places when they get too big. Plus the snakes escape, too.


Burmese Pythons: The Lastest Face of Global Warming Hype

Part of this is a lack of adequate laws forbidding the importation to and ownership of Burmese pythons in America. There are few laws restricting it. And now that ship has sailed as so many have been set free, they are roaming and breeding at a high rate. And eating a lot of the wildlife in the Everglades and other natural habitats in the southern U.S.
That has nothing to do with a temperature that allegedly is rising one degree every thousand years. The snakes aren’t clairvoyant. They don’t say to themselves: Hmmm . . . In a thousand years it’ll be one degree warmer, so we can invade Buffalo and Northern Michigan.
But phobias–irrational fears or hatreds–are not based on reason. And when people hear “python snakes will invade America,” they get scared without any critical thinking about how silly this fear is.
And the global warming crowd is clever. They use the word “colonize.” Last week, a front page USA Today story, screamed at readers that pythons were “colonizing” America. Get it?–They’re taking over. And it’s all your fault for using that blowdrier or driving that SUV. Completely absurd. The headline: “Pythons Could Squeeze Lower Third of USA.”
But no-one said reason and logic was a part of the hissing, creepy-crawly enviro-freaks’ campaign. Too bad the mainstream media worships the ground on which they slither:

As climate change warms the nation, giant Burmese pythons could colonize one-third of the USA, from San Francisco across the Southwest, Texas and the South and up north along the Virginia coast, according to U.S. Geological Survey maps released Wednesday.
The pythons can be 20 feet long and 250 pounds. They are highly adaptable to new environments. . . .
One map shows where the pythons could live today, an area that expands when scientists use global warming models for 2100.
“We were surprised by the map. It was bigger than we thought it was going to be,” says Gordon Rodda, zoologist and lead project researcher. “They are moving northward, there’s no question.” . . .
They grab with their mouth to anchor the prey, then coil around the animal and crush it to death before eating it whole.
If you see one, don’t attempt to engage it. Leave the area, note the location and notify the authorities.

The thing is, here in Michigan–as in other northern states–we already have snakes that are far more scary and dangerous than pythons. Pythons usually don’t attack humans. But Massassauga Rattlesnakes–native to Michigan–do, and they are fatally poisonous. They’ve been here as long as anyone can remember. And it has nothing to do with any alleged “global warming” or “climate change.”
No, your home, front lawn, and driveway aren’t about to be infested by Burmese pythons. But if they are, don’t blame your use of energy and commute to work. Blame America for letting bizarros buy these as pets and release them into the wild. Those are the problems that long ago should have been regulated, but weren’t.
Changing to CFL lightbulbs has nothing to do with it.

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9 Responses

I wasn’t aware of the problem of Burmese Pythons, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the people responsible for this are illegal aliens who are following their “customs” and keeping these creatures, just like Muslim illegal aliens (and non-illegal aliens) also insist in following some of their barbaric customs here in the United States.

c f on February 25, 2008 at 10:34 am

There is nothing wrong with having Burmese Pythons in the USA……they would make better citizens than some other immigrants and “Asylum seekers”.
Seriously…this is a lazy and mainly docile snake that lives on rodents mainly…and can only survive in (perhaps) warm tropical areas such as the Everglades. These creatures do not attack, eat, or seek to convert humans.

Miluimnik on February 25, 2008 at 11:10 am

A far more realistic threat is the possibility of warmer weather attracting Californians to the other 47 [lower] States…..and introducing their whacked-out politics to the American population.
That is a scary thought!

Miluimnik on February 25, 2008 at 11:14 am

Whatever happened to the Africanized killer bees?

John Cunningham on February 25, 2008 at 11:40 am

JC – Maybe the snakes have eaten the bees!

newinnewark on February 25, 2008 at 12:16 pm

A passel of pythons is better than a crate of kraits.
Actually, pythons and boa constrictors could pose a problem to family pets and small children, as is currently the case in Africa and Asia.
But, the average adult would be in no danger.
Now, if someone were to import some spitting cobras or black mambas – – – ?
Ooooh, but them there things is baaaad!!!
According to a show I watched on the National Geographic Channel, killer bees are now in almost every state, even New England and the Pacific Northwest.
Thank you.
John Robert Mallernee
Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

writesong on February 25, 2008 at 12:53 pm

That’s OK. I have a bunch of giant mongoose that I nurtured from birth after I exposed them to gamma rays (the way Dr. Bruce Banner was exposed to gamma rays and turns mean-ass ugly into The Hulk). And, if the mongoose don’t get the killer pythons, I’ll just turn my gamma ray gun on the nearest ant hill in my yard, or on Sean Hannity – I hear he likes snakeskin cowboy boots (or is it Don “The Cryptkeeper” Imus?). Whatever….That should do the trick.

Thee_Bruno on February 25, 2008 at 1:51 pm

Insert Barack and his supporters jokes here…..

OldSchoolW on February 26, 2008 at 11:40 am

Insert Illegal Mexican/Hispanic immigrant jokes here….

OldSchoolW on February 26, 2008 at 11:42 am

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