By Debbie Schlussel
In the past, I’ve repeatedly written about the various epithets the PC Mainstream Media utilizes to avoid pointing to the real identity of the participants in riots, murders, and hijackings. “Somali Pirates” is one of my fave Al-Qaeda terrorist euphemisms, for example.
But, now, there’s the 2007 resurgence of the annual Muslim riots in France. Muslims torch and maim and slash and murder. And yet, no-one–at least no-one working for FOXNEWSMSNBCCNNABCNBCCBSAPREUTERSWASHPOSTNYTIMESDETROITNEWSISTAN–can bring themselves to call a spade a spade–a barbaric Muslim a Muslim.

As I’ve written, FOX News once did this, but key shareholder/Saudi Prince/homicide bomb telethon donor Prince Al-Waleed Bin Talal called his buddy Rupert Murdoch to complain. Within a half hour, the Muslim riots became “civil riots.” Um, they are anything but civil. Which has a lot to do with the fact that they are exclusively and specifically MUSLIM. You’ll never hear them referred to on “Fair and Balanced” as “Muslim riots,” again. Rupert’s gotta keep those 5.46% NewsCorp shareholders happy.
And a look at the mainstream media stories and headlines in newspapers around Ameica shows, yet again, an absence of one word identifying each and every rioter: Muslim.
Instead, I’ve seen these euphemisms and epithets, mostly from headlines in various newspapers accompanying an AP story by Nicholas Garriga, or from the actual text of his story:
* “Angry Youths”
* “Urban Guerrillas” (Hmmm . . . isn’t that a slap against Black people? These guys are not all Black. But they are all Muslim.)
* “Ethnic Minorities” (Hmmm #2 . . . not sure how comprising at least 20-30% of a country’s population makes you much of a minority. But just to humor the PC Crowd, here’s a contradictory fact: They are the ethnic majority in Pakistan, Egypt, Iraq, and plenty of other countries. And guess what? They riot, torture, and kill, there.)
* “[Residents of] Drab Housing Projects“–A-ha. See, if they lived in a nicely-appointed tent like Muammar Qaddafi, then all would be well. A luxe Bin Laden cave with 12 wives and assorted mistresses, swell. A mansion in the Washington, DC area where Laura and George constantly fete them and call them “Bandar Bush” (even though the wife funded the apartments of 9/11 hijackers), well, then, the riots would never happen. Time for Sarkozy to contact Ikea and see if they can construct something for these “justifiably” angry car-torching cop-killers.
* “Impoverished“–Yup, if they had it all, they’d never commit violence against westerners. Go tell it to the 9/11 victims of Mohammed Atta, son of a very wealthy man. Bin Laden, billionaire. Assad, not hard up fo’ cash.
Rome is Burning. France is just . . . “hearing from the disenfranchised.” Who, coincidentally, all happen to be Muslim.
Quelle Coincidence.
***
Maybe you can come up with your own euphemisms for these Muslim rioters. Please post them in the comments section.
Here’s one to start with: Unrequited 72-Virgin-Yearning Romeos.

By Debbie Schlussel
Remember billionaire Oscar Wyatt? In September, I told you about the Coastal Corporation Chairman and CEO’s personal phone book.
He was accused of doing business with Saddam Hussein in violation of our embargo on Iraq, paying Saddam millions in kickbacks, so that he could buy more than his allotment of oil under the oil-for-food program. By doing so, he helped finance Saddam’s tyranny and mass-murder. My column, disclosing the details of Wyatt’s phonebook, confirmed that he was doing business with a key Al-Qaeda financier, Khalid Bin Mahfouz, and many members of Saddam’s top oil officials.

Oscar Wyatt w/Wife Lynn: She’s Smiling Over Hubby’s Light Sentence
Well, apparently, crime pays.
Wyatt, who decided to plead guilty–the evidence against him was overwhelming, including secret bank accounts in Jordan–got a very, very light sentence. Yesterday, he was sentenced to just a year and a day in prison. The extra day is significant because it means that he will do far less than a year, getting several months time off for good behavior. If you’re just sentenced to a year, you get no time off. The extra day is what makes the difference. That the feds agreed to this paltry sentence, is disgusting.
Less than a year in prison. That’s not bad for making billions off of oil he illegally bought from Saddam, then resold at a huge profit with a Muslim Arab Swiss co-conspirator. In fact, the sentence is a joke. After years of investigation by dedicated, then-Customs agents and others, and after millions of our tax dollars spent to investigate and prosecute Wyatt, the 1-year sentence is a slap on the hand.
Clearly, America is not serious about enforcing our embargoes and boycotts.
The message is loud and clear: Those who spy for the enemy–like Nada Nadim Prouty doing so for Hezbollah–and those who help finance the enemy–like Oscar S. Wyatt–do a year or less. Meanwhile, Jonathon Pollard–who spied for an ally (Israel) and gave it info we were required to give it by treaty (but didn’t)–still rots in prison after 22 years, most of them spent in solitary confinement and with necessary medications for his medical condition denied.
We condone treason against us by the enemy, but not that done for our ally.
Oscar Wyatt is laughing all the way to the bank . . . and his Saddam-financed bank account.
***
BTW, I still haven’t found out why Richard L. Crocker, a then-U.S. Customs Service agent, is listed in Wyatt’s phone book. The man, later an ICE Assistant Special Agent in Charge for Memphis–and now in ICE’s Phoenix, AZ District Office, is listed with a 24-hour contact number. As I asked then:

Why did Wyatt need a contact on-call 24 hours a day from the then-U.S. Customs Service? Was he trying to get something into the country or out of it that he shouldn’t have been?

Still asking.

By Debbie Schlussel
Hmmm . . . left-wingers who study how many times someone ate drivel from broken, ugly pottery for a living (or in Margaret Mead’s case, make up whole stories about Samoan girls’ sex lives) are upset that some anthropologists are embedding with our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. It’s called the “Human Terrain System Project (HTS).” Gee, I can’t think of a more pretentious or absurd name for people who study such important matters as how many times someone drank through a straw in Mesopotamia or blew their nose in ancient Alexandria.
No biggie that you taxpayers are paying $60 million plus for these whiners. Going on these trips is “unethical” according to the American Anthropological Association (AAA–the Automotive AAA ought to sue for embarrassing the acronym). Supposedly, they teach troops local tribal customs that could make their jobs easier and risks lower.

Broken Pottery Academics Hate America
But the organized anthropoligist community says that they are worried they “could be viewed as gathering intelligence for the U.S. military.” Horror of horrors. I mean, why should America actually get something back for wasting gazillions on these ungrateful lefties, of whom I’d bet more than 80% voted for John Kerry or someone like Lyndon LaRouche (if he ran last time–he is running this time)?.
The AAA released a statement attacking the program. It includes such patriotic pronouncements as this:

[A]nthropologists may have responsibilities to their U.S. military units in war zones that conflict with their obligations to the persons they study or consult, specifically the obligation, stipulated in the AAA Code of Ethics, to do no harm to those they study. . . .
As members of the HTS [DS: Human Terrain System Project] teams, anthropologists provide information and counsel to U.S. military field commanders. This poses a risk that information provided by HTS anthropologists could be used to make decisions about identifying and selecting specific populations as targets of U.S. military operations either in the short or long term. Any such use of fieldwork-derived information would violate the stipulations in the AAA Code of Ethics that those studied not be harmed.

Yes, if anthropologists are studying terrorists, they must take the side of the terrorists against America’s soldiers. Anything less would be unethical for these ancient-garbage-sniffers.
More anthropological patriotism:

Thus the Executive Board [DS: of the AAA] expresses its disapproval of the HTS program.
In the context of a war that is widely recognized as a denial of human rights and based on faulty intelligence and undemocratic principles, the Executive Board sees the HTS project as a problematic application of anthropological expertise, most specifically on ethical grounds. We have grave concerns about the involvement of anthropological knowledge and skill in the HTS project. The Executive Board views the HTS project as an unacceptable application of anthropological expertise.

Translation: F-U America. We don’t want to help you with our ancient-dumpster-diving expertise. We hope you lose. You soldiers are denying human rights of terrorists and, by instituting free elections, are following “undemocratic” principles.
These anthropologists are disgusting. Why the heck are we bringing these people to Iraq and Afghanistan at the cost of millions to taxpayers? Send them to the Arizona desert, instead, so they can “anthropologize” the garbage and lifestyles of illegal aliens crossing the border and the rattlesnakes who cohabitate with them.
More from USA Today:

A simmering academic debate over the ethics of a program that embeds anthropologists and other social scientists with troops in Iraq and Afghanistan could come to a boil Wednesday at the annual meeting of the 10,900-member American Anthropological Association in Washington, D.C.
The effort, dubbed the Human Terrain System, has since last year sent six five-person teams, including one anthropologist per team, to help commanders understand tribal customs and better navigate these war-torn areas. Anthropologists study human social practices and cultures. The teams are dressed in military uniform and often carry guns.
Military officials say the initial $20 million program has helped reduce the need for force. Now, the plan is to deploy such teams to each of 26 American combat brigades in Iraq and Afghanistan, at a cost of an additional $40 million.
The executive board of the anthropologists group has come out opposing the program; its statement notes in part that working as military contractors in a war zone “places a significant constraint” on anthropologists’ ability to fulfill their ethical responsibility “to disclose who they are and what they are doing” and “to do no harm to those they study.”
Anthropologist Montgomery McFate, a senior adviser to the project, holds that improved understanding of local customs will help avoid use of military force. “We’re trying to . . . help them understand other ways of interacting, such as negotiation and reconciliation,” she says.
But anthropologist Roberto Gonzalez of San Jose State University in California says academics could be viewed as gathering intelligence for the U.S. military.
“If they get the reputation of being tools of the military, it puts all of us under a cloak of suspicion,” he says. He has co-founded the Network of Concerned Anthropologists, which wants anthropologists to boycott such field work.
“The debate has been a real sign of vibrancy and the seriousness with which we take anthropology and the growing importance of anthropological field work,” says Alan Goodman, president of the anthropologists group and a professor at Hampshire College in Amherst, Mass.
An ad hoc committee today will present a report on the engagement of anthropology with the U.S. security and intelligence communities, but chairman Jim Peacock of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill says the report was essentially finished before the current controversy erupted.

These people teach at universities that get federal subsidies, which directly or indirectly subsidize their salaries. And many of them get federal grants to do studies. Since they don’t want to help our country, why should we pay their wages?
Like I said, let them study the Arizona rattlers. It’s no coincidence that “anthropologist” contains all the necessary letters for “apologist.”

By Debbie Schlussel
If you take a walk through East Dearbornistan a/k/a Little Bint Jbeil, you’ll find that a lot of Muslim brides actually do look like this.
But in this case, the bride was a male terrorist doing it Dennis Rodman style. I’ve written about so many terrorists, here in America, in the United (Islamic) Kingdom, and in the Middle East, who’ve used Islamic women’s dress to disguise themselves and escape custody or commit terrorist acts and other crimes. But this latest one has a great pic, so it begs to be blogged about:

U.S. and Iraqi soldiers patrolling military checkpoints have arrested insurgents disguised as everything from police officers to ambulance drivers, and even U.S. soldiers.

Beauty Pageant: Compare The Islamic Terrorist “Bride” . . .

. . . To The Dennis Rodman “Bride”

Male terrorists have even worn an “abaya,” the traditional dress worn by some Muslim women. [DS: Actually, an abaya is more like a hooded cape kinda like what “the Reaper” wears.]
But last week, Iraqi soldiers manning a checkpoint just north of Baghdad came upon a first: a wedding procession in which the bride, draped in a flowing white gown and veil, needed a shave.
Suspicious and laughing Iraqi soldiers forced the little procession of cars to a halt and arrested four men, including the bride, according to the Iraqi Defense Ministry.
The two-car wedding procession was spotted at a checkpoint near Taji, an ethnically mixed town about 12 miles north of Baghdad. Soldiers became wary after discovering that all of the procession participants were men, a defense ministry official told ABC News.
The convoy also did not heed orders to stop, the official added. Soldiers then forced the cars to halt and searched them.
They discovered that two of the men – one dressed as a bride in a white wedding dress and veil with his face demurely obscured by a bouquet of yellow flowers – were on a watch list of wanted terrorists, the ministry confirms to ABC News.
Grainy video footage, thought to be shot by a cell phone camera, shows the men being questioned and searched.
The bride is asked to undress so that soldiers can confirm that he is a man. As the man disrobes, soldiers can be heard jokingly asking the suspect to “show me your breasts if you are a woman.”
The video footage was found on a popular militant Web site. The Iraqi Defense Ministry confirmed its authenticity to ABC News.
The suspects, Haider al-Bahadili and Abbas Latif, are being held at the Al Taji military base, along with two other men, according to a defense ministry statement.

Pretty in Pink, er . . . White. Gotta Luv Those Girlie-Man Terrorists, pretend AND real.

Girlie Men: It’s What’s For Breakfast in Hezbollah
(Artwork by David Lunde, Jedi Master of PhotoShopping)

By Debbie Schlussel
Many public schools in America, today, are run exactly like they would be in a Communist state. Anything goes when it comes to what is taught there. Nothing is too ridiculous. But when it comes to “discipline,” schools go overboard acting like a Communist police state (and don’t actually discipline anyone for truly objectionable behavior).
I’ve written about this phenomenon before.
No, I’m not talking about things like dogs sniffing lockers for drugs (which I think is reasonable). I’m talking about this from the Detroit suburb of Belleville, Michigan (thanks to reader Mike for the tip):

Ferris Bueller Might Do Time in Belleville

Cameron Coleman has been anxious for weeks.
He is having trouble sleeping. He is failing his science class.
And he is fearful each day when he goes to school, ever since he was ticketed by a school resource officer for “skipping class” while retrieving his jacket from the bathroom during his lunch hour.
Now, the 11-year-old South Middle School student must appear in court on Dec. 6 with his parents for a mandatory interview with a juvenile probation officer to determine his penalty for the disorderly person charge, a misdemeanor offense.
“You don’t charge an 11-year-old kid with anything,” said Cameron’s father, William Coleman. “If it was a gun or knife or a threat to the school I can see it. But that’s a bit too much.”
Cameron, an average student who has missed three days this year for having the flu twice and a Staph infection last month, has been tardy only a handful of times, Coleman said. Most times, it’s because he takes too long in the bathroom. Frequent trips are a side effect of medication he takes to control his genetic condition — chronic granulomatous disease, a rare illness that causes repeated bacterial infections.
Coleman said he’s made many trips and phone calls to the Van Buren Public Schools seeking answers since his son was instructed to bring home the appearance ticket.
On Oct. 29, Coleman said, Cameron was permitted to use the bathroom at the start of his lunch period. Afterward, while waiting in the lunch line, he remembered he’d left his jacket in the bathroom and returned to retrieve it. When he exited, school resource officer Kris Faull of the Belleville Police Department ticketed and detained him. Cameron was held in the school office for several hours, deprived of lunch and forced to miss a make-up test in his science class, which resulted in a failing grade for the marking period.
Even worse, Coleman said, his concerns have been ignored by district officials and the officer who wrote the ticket.
“I wanted to know why it was so important to punish him this way,” Coleman said. “The cop was belligerent and told me she’d take me downtown and press charges against me.”

Stalin would be proud. Ferris Bueller is lucky he took his day off in the ’80s. Today, he’d be headed for court.
Save Ferris . . . AND Cameron Coleman.

By Debbie Schlussel
Today’s episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” is the epitome of why I can’t stand this woman. And why I can’t understand why so many women–particularly Black women–idolize this phony. She does not care about you, no matter how much you want to make it so.
It’s bad enough that she’s doing a show about her doing a show–it’s about the making of her “Oprah’s Favorite Things” show in Macon, Georgia. But here’s why Ms. Thang chose Macon: it has the highest percentage of television sets–45% of them–tuned to the Oprah show when the show airs, according to Neilsen ratings. That tells me right there that almost half the city failed the national IQ test and is brain-addled.

“I Got A Ticket & You Can’t Have None, NaNaNaNaNaNa“
(Oprah Mag Artwork Courtesy of the Talented David Lunde)
Worse, is that Oprah decided to play a little game on the mostly poor, mostly Black people of Macon. She knocked on doors giving away tickets to the Favorite Things show, on which Oprah gives out thousands of dollars worth of luxurious gifts to each audience member. But there was a catch: you had to be watching the Oprah show when she came to your house, or no tix. Oh, and the tickets were gold and labeled “Golden Ticket,” like she’s some real-life Willy Wonka. Puh-leeze. (She does have a disproportionate number of Augustus Gloops and Veruca Salts watching her show and reading her magazine, though.)
Oprah went to one elderly Black woman’s house. The woman cried–like it was the “Second Coming.” But Oprah asked her if she was watching “Oprah.” When the woman said she hadn’t yet turned on the TV, Oprah said buh-bye. “I was giving out tix to my show. But I can’t give you one because you weren’t watching me. Gotta go.” In multiple versions of those words, that’s how she dissed–on camera–many elderly, poor, and alone Black women with tears in their eyes . . . on camera. These are women who idolize this woman. But over and over again, that was the response from Oprah to lots of these women, taunting them and then dashing their hopes. Let’s hear it for Black empowerment. Watch me toy with the “little people.”

Hey, Oprah, You’re No Willy Wonka
Then, Oprah’s nasty teasing increased a notch. Oprah went to a single mother’s house. She asked, “Are you watching Oprah?” “No, I’m taking care of my children,” was the response. Oprah: “Oh, I’m sorry. You’re not watchin’ my show. So I can’t give you a ticket.”
Hmmm, take care of your kids or watch Oprah’s mindless garbage. This woman had her priorities straight, so Oprah kicked her to the curb. What a bitch. Yes, Oprah, single mothers should watch your show and neglect their kids. It’s all about Oprah.
Nauseating. This is the woman who constantly whines over the treatment of Black women and single mothers in our society. But, when it comes down to it, she really doesn’t give a damn about them. Worse, she uses them as fodder for easy laughs on her show. A total phony–not news to me or readers of this site.
Then, there were the two women–a middle-aged woman and her elderly mother. Only the daughter was watching, so Oprah told her, “I’m giving you ONE ticket, ‘cuz you were watching my show.”
Really, I can’t think of a greater feat of self-conceit than what Oprah did to her fans in Macon, Georgia–many of whom would certainly have appreciated the gifts from the “Favorite Things” show more than a self-ingratiating billionaire egomaniac.
Well, if Oprah carved her head onto Mount Rushmore, maybe that would exceed this. Maybe.
Me. Me. Me. My Show. My Show. My Show. I don’t call her “HRHSBoTU” (Her Royal Highness Supreme Being of the Universe) for nothing.
Read more on why Oprah Sucks.

By Debbie Schlussel
There are lies, damn lies, and Julie L. Myers press conferences.
Remember Immigration and Customs Enforcement chieftess a/k/a “The ICE Princess'” first press conference, last year? I wrote about it, noting that she couldn’t even pronounce the name of one of the most problematic Mexican border towns, Nuevo Laredo. It’s not rocket science.
Well, it turns out that not only couldn’t she pronounce the easily verbalized name of a city, she couldn’t even answer a real question. That’s why she faked the press conference, planting softball questions with an ICE spokeswoman, whom she deliberately and knowingly called on.

Julie Myers:
ICE Princess Holds Fake Press Conference, Acts Like Jester
Like everyone else who does the bidding of Massa’ Julie, the ICE spokeswoman took the fall for her and was admonished. (Attention: Gregory Thompson and Sjon Shavers, two Black ICE agents who are now vouching for Ms. “Blackface“.)
Predictably, the emasculated Julie Myers apologists who head DHS are licking The ICE Princess’ feet and falling all over themselves to defend her, claiming she had “no intent to deceive.” Riiight, and illegal aliens using fake docs have no intent to deceive, either.
Read all the details about the planted question and yet another bit of ICE’s Veruca Salt doing “whatever it takes” to get what she wants, no matter how dishonest and deceitful.
Uncle Richie, I want a golden ticket, and I want it NOW!

By Debbie Schlussel
A ton of readers are sending me the AP story about how small-town Michigan teen Katherine Lester broke up with her Muslim Palestinian MySpace boyfriend, “Abdullah Psycho” a/k/a Abdullah Jimzawi a/k/a Abdullah Jinzawi. But I already know. I had the sadomasochist experience of watching part 3 of this silly saga on the annoying “Dr. Phil” show. This idiotette broke up with Mr. Psycho on the show. Oh, and the main advertiser was “K-Y Tingling Sensation” (no lie). How apropos.
As you know, I’ve been on top of this story (here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here), since it began, last year. And I even received a “love letter” from the stepmother portion of the parents that pimped her out to glamorous press interviews galore.

Dr. Phil Meets Katherine Lester:
From Cute Small-Town Teen Girl to Islamic Palestinian Brainwash-ette

I’m beginning, however, to regret that I lamented this relationship, and I now think many readers/commenters were right. Let him have this idiot. Frankly, after watching three episodes of this selfish, spoiled, very stupid girl and her moronic family who allowed this to happen in the first place, I really wish she had stayed with Jimzawi/Jinzawi, had kids, and further lowered the IQ and coping skills of future generations of Palestinians. They deserve each other.
Most maddening was watching this total scumbag with a Texas drawl, Dr. Phil, going on and on and on about “Me, Me, Me.” “I went through a lot to get you escorts out of the dangerous Gaza strip,” he lectured her THREE times. Um, for the third time from me, Jericho (where she was) is in Israel (the so-called “West Bank”), you idiot. It is nowhere near Gaza, dummy. Read a paper.
I can’t express enough how much I detest this guy. He was going on and on and on and on and on about how he rescued this idiotic girl from her Muslim boyfriend. And how he had 20 staffers working on it at all hours of the night. BFD. You have 20 staffers you pay almost nothing and severely abuse (and don’t pay overtime to–a friend of mine worked for him, so I know) working on it. You wanna medal for that? Dr. Phil, America’s new Knight in Shining (Self-)Amour.
And, for the third episode, Phil McGraw and his staffers went out of their way to completely whitewash Islam out of it. If you looked really close, you could see a tiny sliver of Abdullah Psycho’s mother and her hijab-encrusted head. But clearly, that and any other hints that this guy and his family are religious Muslims was completely edited out and thrown on the cutting room floor. Because I’m sure that this Muslim Palestinian boyfriend’s religion and heritage has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he kicked her, bit her, and whipped her with a belt (he admitted to all except the biting). And I’m sure it had nothing to do with his admission that he threatened to torture the girl’s family. Muslims would nevah evah threaten to do that, let alone actually perpetrate torture.
Also love how Dr. Phil won’t acknowledge the existence of Israel. Maybe he should have received an invitation to the Annapolis Peace Conference, since he now qualifies. He kept referring about “Tel Aviv Airport.” Um, it’s BEN GURION Airport. There is no “Tel Aviv Airport.” So, why does Dr. Phil insist on calling the place by a fictional, post-Israel moniker? And to Dr. Phil, Ph.D. there is no Israel, only “Palestine.” He repeatedly uttered the latter, never the former.
Before this, I felt bad for Katherine Lester’s real mother, Shawn Lester, who was against this relationship, unlike Lester’s father, Terry Lester, and stepmother, Krista Lester (who are mostly to blame for encouraging this relationship and pimping her out on endless interviews). But, after watching three episodes of these people on Dr. Phil, not as much. Clearly, the woman spoiled this girl so much and didn’t teach her a thing about Muslims or Palestinians. She shouldn’t be surprised that any of this happened.
I did, however, feel bad that they subjected themselves to Dr. Phil’s sickeningly phony moralizing lectures. This guy wears the crown of self-indignance. Again, I cannot stand this guy. If you can, you’ve failed the national IQ test.
Only good part of the show: When that patronizing creep, Dr. Phil, took a break from verbalizing repeated self-congratulation and said to the girl: You’ve met an American boy that you like. . . . And that’s a good thing.
Um, at this point, I’m not so sure it’s good (for the American boy).
Moral of the story: When Seventeen Magazine tells your daughter or niece about “Online Love: Make It Work,” this is how it really “works.”
And Dr. Phil’s 20 staffers won’t “rescue” her, while also whitewashing Islam and Palestinians and never looking at a fricking map.

By Debbie Schlussel
On this site, I’ve frequently said that I think too often our society is down on men and fathers. But I’ve also pointed out that, when it comes to celebs, our country is all too ready to give bad celeb fathers a pass. Draft dodger and deadbeat parent Ted Nugent is Exhibit A. But NBA Star Gilbert Arenas of the Washington Wizards is down there with him.
This guy–who is on the bench and not playing for three months due to injury–gets the nomination for Father Of The Year. Get a load of what he writes on his blog on the NBA’s official website. Is this really the kind of thing the NBA condones? Sadly, yes. OY! Double OY!:

For the road trip, I’ll probably stick around D.C. and rehab, unless it’s a long one and I’ll go just to get out of the house. I don’t know.

I’m going to stay positive this time, because feeling sorry for myself didn’t work last time. It just kind of hurt that everything I did this summer really meant nothing, to the point where I’m rehabbing again. I guess I was doing too much. I wasn’t giving myself enough time to let my muscles heal. Running bleachers, riding bikes and doing all that stuff was just a little too much.
You know what? When stuff goes bad it goes bad. I just broke up with my girlfriend and I don’t get to see my kids for a while because of the breakup.
That happened right before those two games last week. I was so happy, went out and performed well with 30 and 11 and came back the next night with 28 and I was thinking, “Oh yeah, it was her that was bringing my spirits down . . .”
Now she’s back in California. You ask for space, you know, because everything feels closed in . . . the house is dirty, the kids are drawing on the walls and on the couches and you’re thinking, “Oh man, I can’t do this. I’m not playing well and I’m coming home to all this.”
So you ask for space and now you got clean walls, clean furniture and you’re lonely.
And now you got to sit out three months. Oh man. I guess it has to get bad so it can get good.
I’m not talking to my girlfriend. There’s a thing, “Watch what you say,” sometimes. She said, “I don’t want you to call me. I don’t want you to ask me about the kids. We’re going to do this on our own.”
So, I decided, “OK.”
Some things, if you don’t mean them, don’t say them.
Now she’s mad that I’m not returning her calls. I guess she’s mad actually, I don’t know. Me and her brother are very cool so he goes, “Why don’t you just talk to her?”
“Well, she just told me last week not to call her.”
She told me I needed to start paying attention and listening from now on, now I’m paying attention and listening.

Oh, and I almost forgot the best part, which sounds like the perfect utterance of the perfect family man. Did you ever hear of “My Girl Power” or “Operation Gilbert Arenas”? No, it’s not a new feminist group of NBA fans or his knee operation:

My Girl Power
I know everybody has been hearing about my Girl Power group. If you didn’t know, I have a group of women that follow me around the world wearing shirts that say “Operation Gilbert Arenas.” Oh man, that’s when you know you’ve made it. Our security guard, Jackie Miles, told me. He was like, “Yeah, you know, we have these ladies out here with the best shirts in the world. They’ve been following you from city to city just trying to get you to notice them.”
They had on these shirts with “Operation Gilbert Arenas” on them with little diamonds and everything. It was kind of funny. I guess they already had one lady picked out to get the jersey and everything, so I gave it to her.
I don’t think any other athletes have “Operation” anything.

Groupie “Amanda” of Operation Gilbert Arenas

More Operation Gilbert Arenas Groupies
Well, gee, aren’t you da’ man? Shout out to the idiot-ettes of Operation Gilbert Arenas. And I hope you’re all on birth control. Gee, I wonder why his girlfriend and mother of his kids won’t talk to him.
Dude, Grow The Hell Up! Who needs “Days of Our Lives,” when you can have “Eons of Arenas”?
More proof that multi-millionairism doesn’t buy you class. This guy is like the Black Britney Spears. A total mess.
This is the NBA. “I Love This Game.”
PS: Wonder what his kids wrote on the walls. Maybe, “Where’s my daddy?” Or, “Do I have a daddy?”
Arenas calls himself, “Agent Zero.” More like, Complete Zero.

By Debbie Schlussel
Well, actually, President Bush did not say that achieving peace with Al-Qaeda “requires difficult compromises.” We would never compromise with this group that murdered 3,000-plus Americans worldwide. We’re fighting them on several fronts.
No, last night at a State Department dinner, Bush told Israel and its spineless, dishonest Prime Minister Ehud Olmert that achieving peace (with the Muslim world–but he didn’t specify that or with whom, since HAMAS, Iran, and Hezbollah ain’t there) “requires difficult compromises.”

Um, Mr. President, did Israel not already give away Gaza, most of the so-called “West Bank,” the entire Temple Mount access? When is America going to give over Texas, California, New Mexico, Arizona, Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Wisconsin, Montana, Idaho, Washington State, the National Cathedral, etc. to Al-Qaeda? I mean, after all, it “requires difficult compromises” to get peace.
And while we’re at it, since they want Israel to give Syria the Golan Heights and the Arabs control of at least East Jerusalem, I say we give Al-Qaeda Alaska and Hawaii (throw in the Florida Keys which are really part of greater Cuba that we annexed, as Syria claims of the Golan Heights), and lets give Qaeda control of the Capitol Building and the mall. We can keep the White House, so long as we agree to let Bin Laden stay at the Lincoln Bedroom when he feels like it with one of the twelve wives or several mistresses.
Yup, peace “requires difficult compromises” in your view, Mr. President. So, when are you going to take your own advice and self-amputate?
Oh, and by the way, I’m sure America would have been way better off had we made the “difficult compromises” with the Nazis, Japan, and the Communist Soviet Union, don’t you think?
Eeuuww, I think I smell a rotting Nobel Prize on its way to the Bush ranch in Crawford.