June 2, 2006, - 3:57 pm

Man or Woman?: Weird Basketball’s Tenth Anniversary (WNBA)

By Debbie Schlussel
Is the basketball player below a man or a woman? Too bad that dumb multi-colored basketball gave it away. Other than that, it’s hard to tell.
Yes, it’s that Weird Nuisance Brought on America–the WNBA–Lesbian Basketball, Season 10. The season started 1.5 weeks ago, but no-one noticed. Confucius say: What is the sound of one hand clapping? If a tree fell in the forest, and no-one was there to hear it, did it still make a noise?
Last night was the tenth anniversary of the founding of the WNBA, the “Women’s” National Basketball Association. Every season, I write a column making fun of this phony league of amateurs. They tried to market this as a low-cost family source of entertainment, but hard to take little Susie to a game, where the audience is full of butch women making out with each other (ditto for many of the players after the game finishes and they hit the locker room).

wnbayolandagriffith.jpg

WNBA’s Yolanda Griffith: Looks Like A Man, Claims It’s a Woman

Hard to justify the 10th anniversary of something no-one watches (lower TV ratings than the XFL in its one and only season) and if you are an NBA (ie., REAL pro basketball) fan or sponsor, you are heavily subsidizing this silly league. Since I’ve said all you can say about the WNBA, this season I’m sticking to giving you the links to some of my past anti-WNBA produce: here, here, here, here, and here. All of them still apply today, and I think you’ll appreciate the humor.
And I’d be remiss to forget the F-U e-mail from a WNBA Coach (real b-ball coach Lute Olson’s Granddaughter) and the op-ed piece against me by a WNBA player.

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20 Responses

Damn…thanks for the warning Debbie! I will be watching the Stanley Cup Championship like a good lil’ “Hoser” from northern Mini-soda.Your column rules keep it up!

Chiefscotty24 on June 2, 2006 at 4:18 pm

Does your obsession with the WNBA have anything to do with how short you are? Did you get picked on in gym class?
YES, I REALLY WANT TO BE 7’2″ OR 6’5″ LIKE WNBA PLAYERS AND TALLER THAN ALL THE GUYS I DATE. RI-I-I-I-GHT. ACTUALLY, I’M PRETTY HAPPY WITH BEING 5’2″. BUT WITH A COMMENT LIKE THAT, YOU SHOULD WATCH YOUR SCREEN NAME. SOMEONE MIGHT THINK “LOVE A MAN IN UNIFORM” REFERS TO PLAYERS IN THE WNBA.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

LoveAManInAUniform on June 2, 2006 at 6:30 pm

Kudos Debbie, another good column on the dikes in the WNBA.
I tried watching the girls basketball one Saturday morning and I got projectile vomit. Why would I waste my time watching a bunch of butch dikes trying to play a man’s game.
They should rename the league. It should be called the Lesbian Basketball Association aka the dribbling carpet munchers.

ScottyDog on June 3, 2006 at 12:24 pm

I understand your main criticisms of this league (regarding how they’re being subsidized when no one watches them), but I don’t get the grade school level attacks against the players.
Hahaha guys! They’re tall, athletic women! They must be lesbians!!! It’s not like some of them can help the fact that they have more masculine frames.

Manatoch on June 3, 2006 at 4:02 pm

Outside of Danica Patrick-who makes male idiots in her sport look like crybabies-hopefully they develop a women’s sport network for women’s “sports” in general-and Hoprah in particular.

jaywilton on June 4, 2006 at 9:14 am

Manatoch
Grade School attacks?
I guess you missed all the smooching in the stands.
You know the overt girl on girl action.
Do they do steroids testing in this league?

ScottyDog on June 4, 2006 at 9:41 am

Scotty: I haven’t been to a game so I can’t comment on what the fans are doing, but that still doesn’t have anything to do with the players.
Perhaps they should do steroid testing, but if no one is watching, why bother? It will just be an extra cost that will have to be subsidized by the NBA.

Manatoch on June 4, 2006 at 10:33 am

Notionally, I agree with Debbie here. Certainly, I don’t find myself watching the WNBA on TV.
But I did take my boy to one of their games once. There was a good crowd and the basketball was pretty good. I can actually say that I enjoyed it.
And I could afford it too, which you can’t really say about an NBA game.
Didn’t see anyone making out in the crowd, but possibly I was sitting in the wrong part of the facility…
I still don’t watch them on TV, although I watch the ladies play tennis all the time, so there you go.

fustian on June 4, 2006 at 12:58 pm

I don’t think Deb is off base here. Here is something that is heavily subsidized and marketed and would have been put out of it’s misery long ago except for political correctness.
You can’t argue with facts that women’s sports are only successful when the chicks are good looking. I don’t care at all for tennis, but I’d always watch when Anna Kournikova was on TV, and maybe even Sharapova.

The_Man on June 4, 2006 at 8:46 pm

They have to subsidize it for it to exist. It can’t make it on its own.
You might get it on TV, but you can’t make a natural man either watch it or buy a ticket.
Of course, if the Lying Liberals had their way, they’d force us to buy tickets and attend. Thank God there is still some freedom in America.

ColfromColorado on June 4, 2006 at 11:10 pm

I’ve often thought that the WNBA should be renamed the Ugly Black Womens League. If they are truly lesbians I guess that could be added to the title. As far as their basketball strategy, it’s either get the ball into the big center for a layup or short jumper or shoot the 3 pointer.

czekmark` on June 5, 2006 at 8:44 am

I personally don’t care what the Sheryl Swoops types in the WNBA look like since I don’t watch it.
I just hate seeing sport in general become so politicized. Pro sports should be about competition, not trying to ram an agenda down people’s throats.
Besides, wasn’t the WNBA flirting with Playboy several years ago?
YES, THAT’S IN ONE OF MY LINKS ABOVE–MY COLUMN ON FOXNEWS.COM ABOUT THE PLAYBOY CONTEST:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,30409,00.html
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

Jeff_W on June 5, 2006 at 8:58 am

So hang on, does that mean that you think these women shouldn’t be on the basketball court because (a) that’s just too manly and that they should be home instead being good housewifes (and wearing a burka perhaps)? (b) because you think that these women are compromising their femininity by trying to be men? Or is it (c) that you think these women should be cute blonde white cheerleaders like you instead?
I just want to figure out whether you are an ultraconservative seeking to diminish women’s freedom to pursue professional sport, a liberal feminist, or just racist?
SINCE A LOT OF THE PLAYERS ARE WHITE (ABOUT HALF), I SUPPOSE I’M ANTI-WHITE?
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

Flea_Fan on June 5, 2006 at 9:22 am

“…ALL THE GUYS I DATE…”
Deb, you little hottie, you! I’m 5′ 10.”

The_Man on June 5, 2006 at 8:30 pm

There have been many women’s basketball leagues in the past and they all have failed. So this time they are using money from the real NBA to subsidize it. The result is an Affirmative Action league.
Someone decided that women should be able to play professional b-ball even though the free market refuses to support it. While the players may be good for girls, it is still a second rate product compared to the men’s league.
I would like to be a pro myself but I am slow and fat. Maybe, if we can convince the NBA to subsidize it, we can start the SFBA (Slow Fat-guy Basketball Association). It would make no less sense than the WNBA.

PoorRichie.com on June 5, 2006 at 10:12 pm

pathetic… it’s just not right to compare kirkpatrick with the wnba players, because in alot of ways their sports branch is very much different. i mean you don’t see kirkpatrick getting banged every time she plays her sport. but players such as becky hammon does get whacked physically in the court. Well i mean if you ask me, becky hammon is way much prettier than kirkpatrick. Just like in tennis, though anna kournikova is very feminine, did you ever see her play against men players for a tittle during her tennis career? HELL NO!!! hypocrite

cheska on September 10, 2006 at 3:01 pm

you’re a female. females used to not have the right to speak our minds like you have in this messed up group of words i read above. why dont we take away the right for females to do that too. take away the right for us to speak out minds. thats not any different than not being able to play bball. some people say that males write better than females too. males grill better. males are better? but dont forget that if you start to take away the rights of females to play a sport, you too will start to lose rights. hell, tomorrow you might not be able to right fucked up stuff like this. who cares if they’re gay? who cares. i have yet to meet a gay person working to get rid of straight peoples rights…so why are straight people working to not let gay people have rights? i dont understand it. basketball is just a sport. the men get payed too much. i think that kindergarden teachers should get payed more than NBA players. they shouldnt get payed to not graduate highschool, college…not being smart at all. at least the WNBA players have to work a real job. they have to be smart enough to do that. how can you a WOMEN say that women rights should be taken away? i dont understand it. should women be slaves? if you want to pull the religious card…women dont even need men. mary had a fucking kid without a man right? or is the whole jesus thing a bunch a shit? have you met every single WNBA player? did you ask them if they were all gay? how many of them are in a loving marrige with a MAN and have beautiful children? have you met every sings women basketball play in the WORLD? asked them if they were gay? i dont think so. why do you have a problem with women being strong. women having faith. women being proud to be strong. i want to see a women golfer beat tiger woods for a golf title. i want to see mia hamm (i’m a big fan) beet david beckahm for a title. thats NEVER going to happen. we all know it. so why should womens and mens basketball be compared. all the NBA is, is dunking and long range shots. (not to mention traveling on every play.) the womens game is becoming the same. players are starting to dunk and the 3 point line is being moved farther out. i just dont understand how a women can bash other women…could you explain this to me? have you ever played basketball? do you know how hard it is? do you know the pain players go through. and who cares if the WNBA needs the NBA to stay alive…they have enough money to start more leagues than just that. personaly i believe that people who care so much about gay shit are just people who are too insicure about themselves to come out of the closet. so what is the deal with you? get a life. stop being an asshole. gay people arent trying to ruin straight peoples rights. why should straight people ruin gay peoples? were you not loved as a child? is this why you talk shit about other people. you can get help for that you know. talk to someone. get help. you need it.
baller for life,
a teen-aged BI-fucking-sexual baller
peace

ballerAZ on May 20, 2007 at 12:46 am

all i got to say is THANK YOU to ballerAZ for that bomb-ass post. THANK YOU!!! i couldn’t have said it any better.
ima baller for life as well.
As for the rest of you……she’s said it all.you people need help.

sapphire14 on August 10, 2007 at 6:41 pm

Why does it seem as if guys get so intimidated by women when they enjoy things they like to do, can do things better than they can, or have things they feel only they should have access to? Sounds like you making smart comments and focusing in on the WNBA cause you wish it was you on TV making more money your probaly ever see in your life… Upgrade your self out of High School, grow up and focus on what you need to do to be TV Nation wide WITHOUT getting off like…. WHATS THAT UGLY OLD WHITE MANS NAME WHO TALKED REAL BAD ABOUT THE BLACK GIRLS IN THE WNBA? Yea exactly… NO ONE CARES! Oh excuse me, that is UNLESS your a broke, bored, ugly, lonely @ss man like… WHATS HIS FACE…?

I am Amazing on September 26, 2007 at 7:52 pm

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