September 21, 2011, - 5:12 pm
In this Facebook/Twitter/Share-When-I-Defecated world, is there anything people won’t share? Sadly, no, there isn’t. And it’s even worse for celebrities–especially has-been celebrities, who need to make another dollar and will say and do anything to get it. The worst is these silly memoirs. Belinda Carlisle, lead singer of the Go-Gos, wrote in her memoirs that she once recorded with the Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson and that he farted in the studio. Wow, useful info that will make my life better! Rick Springfield wrote about how he’s a sex addict and sometimes slept with three different women in a day. I think I heard that one before in “The Wilt Chamberlain Story.” Still not info I needed.
And now there is Florence Henderson, the classless former “Brady Bunch” mom, who at age 77 is an aging skank desperate to stay relevant. She’s gone on every reality show possible, no matter how silly. And it hasn’t done the trick. So, she’s telling everyone who will listen that she had a one-night stand with New York Mayor John Lindsay and he gave her crabs (and it’s in her new memoir). Wow, thanks for that. . . not. TMI, (non)lady. T-M-I! First, she said it on yenta hag-fest, “The View,” and now the salacious FOX News is also giving her the forum for this barfitude. The guy who played Mike Brady (Robert Reed), a closet gay, was always dignified and a class act. This woman is garbage.
On Tuesday’s racy The View, Florence Henderson of Brady Bunch fame was flogging her new book. And during what turned out to be a very lively segment that followed another very lively segment with foul-mouthed It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia star Danny DeVito, the veteran actress talked about one particular tryst that was quite memorable.
That said, that memorable liaison, which happened back in the 1960s, was with a famous politician whose name Elisabeth Hasselbeck pulled out of Florence Henderson without much prompting: It was then New York City mayor John Lindsay, who happened to be a very handsome man. And he also happened to be a man who was carrying some clout that wasn’t at all welcomed.
Indeed, Florence admitted that the morning after the two had been together in a sexual way, Henderson woke up with an unhealthy and very nasty dose of crabs.
And while she was itching and worrying about what was going on in her nether regions, the now 77-year-old said she learned something very important. She decided then and there that there was a lesson to be had in what had happened when this pretty actress hooked up with the hunky mayor.
I expect this crap from “The View” and fake conservative/real airhead Elisabeth Hasseldumb, but FOX News then brought her on their network to spew the same. Hey, FOX News, how the heck is it “fair and balanced” to let Mrs. Brady tell this crap on the air when John Lindsay’s been dead for over a decade and can’t respond to this baloney? It would be far more fair (and balanced) to bring Glenn Rice onto the network to talk about his booty call with Sarah Palin, but you’ll never see that.
The one thing the development of e-books hasn’t revolutionized is the elimination of these dopey, tawdry confessions by this sad, sad people who live off the fumes of fading nostalgia for a fame they once had.
Someone needs to tell these people to shut up and act. Or in the case of Mrs. Brady, just shut up.
Memo to the world: if you spend even a penny or a second of your life on Florence Henderson’s memoir, you’re a loser. Period.
Tags: aging skanks, Belinda Carlisle, book, booty call, Brady Bunch, Carol Brady, Carole Brady, celeb memoir, celebrity memoirs, crabs, Florence Henderson, FOX News, Fox News Channel, hags, has-been celebrities, has-been celebs, has-beens, John Lindsay, Life is Not a Stage, memoir, Mrs. Brady, New York, New York City, New York Mayor, New York Mayor John Lindsay, one-night stand, Rick Springfield, Robert Reed, skanks, STDs, STFU, The Brady Bunch, The View, TMI