March 4, 2012, - 8:19 pm

Janoris Jenkins: Meet the NFL’s Newest Multi-BabyDaddy Criminal

By Debbie Schlussel

There’s a reason Janoris Jenkins‘ first name rhymes with clitoris.  For a non-gynecologist, he’s come into contact with way too many of them.

Jenkins, a cornerback who is set to be picked in the first round of the upcoming NFL Draft, is 23 years old, but he’s already fathered four illegitimate kids under the age of three, by three different women.  Three of those kids were reportedly born in the same year, by the way.  Dude gets around.  And now he’s on the way to being cast as your child’s next role model.  Just terrific.

I agree with Rush Limbaugh and most other conservatives that no one (especially not private and/or religious institutions) should be forced to pay for the contraception of sluts.  And Jenkins and his multiple hoochie-mamas are evidence that it’s not being used by those who should be using it, anyway.  And while we’re at requiring everyone to provide birth control for free, why not provide lessons in baby naming for those who decline?  Jenkins’ kids are named, Janoris Jr., Janorion (I guess that’s the “Official Planet of Janorises”), Legend, and Paris.


And they’re emblems that America has lost the culture war–that it’s hip to father and give birth to lots of kids outside of marriage, breeding generations of future criminals, drug addicts, and assorted other losers.  Jenkins is well on his way to being like some other NFL players I’ve written about on this site, including Travis Henry, who fathered at least 11 kids with ten different women, and Antonio Cromartie, who fathered eight kids with six different women in six different states by the age of 26 and most of the kids are the same age.  But, even outside the NFL and on the right-wing side of the aisle, babymamas like Bristol Palin are rewarded with reality shows for the sole reason that they had sex in high school and had an illegitimate kid.  In fact, the words “illegitimate” and “bastard” aren’t even used anymore.  There’s no stigma.  It’s more “uncool” to actually marry first and have kids with an intact nuclear family.  It’s no longer just a trend.  It’s the ever-increasing death of America.

And like Bristol Palin’s cable reality show, the sad thing is that Jenkins will also be rewarded–and not penalized in the least–for his disgusting behavior.  Many NFL teams are looking at drafting him (yes, at least, he has a marketable talent, unlike Bristol Palin whose only “talent” was on her back).  He’ll sign a multi-million dollar deal after he’s drafted.  And even after that’s garnished for the child support of four kids, he’ll still have plenty left over.  It’s only if he makes it into Travis Henry numbers that he’ll have nothing left.  Henry turned to drug dealing to make up the difference and is now in federal prison for a long time as a result.  But NFL teams don’t care how many kids you’ve fathered and neglected in your life of entitlement on the way to major league sports riches.  They just want those kids to buy jerseys and watch telecasts to make the NFL owners richer.

And they don’t care about Janoris Jenkins’ criminal record, either.  Jenkins was arrested three times.  He was Tasered during a June 2009 street fight outside a bar, and he was caught smoking marijuana twice in a period of three months in 2011.  For his behavior, Rhymes-With-Clitoris was kicked out of the University of Florida,  but he was quickly scooped up by North Alabama, and, again, he’ll be quickly scooped up in the NFL Draft’s initial round.  If you can run the ball, you get a million second chances (or if you’re born to a famous ex-half-Governor), even though your kids won’t even get a first chance.

No matter where he’s drafted, you can bet that this jerk will father more kids.  And it’s also probably a good bet that within a couple of years of the end of his NFL career, he’ll be broke.  It’s just that predictable.

Even more predictable is that the NFL will never have a conscience or even the most basic standards that say, if you can’t keep your pants on, you won’t wear our jockstrap.

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74 Responses

Maybe every slut who has sex three times a day like Sandra Fluke says she does, should open a book and close their legs?

What’s so hard about that? Is that to much to ask to guarantee no disease & no pregnancy?

It’s not rocket science is it?

Who cares? on March 7, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Two points not to be blunt but if the guy isn’t smart enough to use a condom, how is smart enough to know a play book.
Second SOME NFL teams have or had a conscience. The late wife of the Pats owner Mrs. Kraft (R.I.P.) heard one of the Pats draft picks was a problem in college. He was cut the NEXT DAY.

ceannrua on March 8, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I doubt that anyone can say that NFL has standards anymore. If it isn’t the type like Jenkins, it’s the type like Gregg Williams, Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis and Bounty Hunting in the ‘Hood or Gibbs pleading “non es meus actus ” in handing out $100 bills and pleading ignorance.

Clearly,with lunatics like this running the asylum the Not For Long League is desperately trying to put itself out of business because of their inability to apply principle over the desire to suck the last almighty dollar out of people’s wallets/purses.

I have a teenage son who plays travel hockey. It seems to me that Pro hockey players are self~effacing and athletes with a sense of respect for themselves and others. My son doesn’t try to emulate their behavior but, I do know he admires some of their character traits, like hard work and humility. He’s been taught to work hard, be civilized and decent and if you can’t say anything good, keep your lips closed and have a good attitude toward life and never sell-out your principles for anyone or thing.

We don’t even watch Pro football here anymore. Why bother ? All I see are highly paid juveniles who are idolized by the clueless.

Devils Principle on March 8, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I enjoy Debbie’s candid articles. No punches are pulled and she goes right for the gut which is always more fun than one can hope for. Keep it up Debbie, wish you were even more centre stage – you’re my type of gal (meaning I like the way you write).

Barry on March 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Why even comment on this blowhard “Rush”..60 year old pill head…talk about long in the tooth..I’d just like affordable dental care..can we get that?

Joe Bob on March 11, 2012 at 7:47 pm

What gives you the right to judge other peoples lives? You talk as if people who end up in circumstances like this are the scum of the earth, but in reality, you are. Either way you look at it, Mr. Jenkins has paid his dues as a football player, and now gets to reap the rewards of it. His children will be well taken care of because HE worked hard. No government assistance/welfare, etc. just stop with the hate, because truthfully, your opinion does not dictate how an individual lives their life. Good day.

I SAID GOOD SAY!

Al on October 22, 2013 at 2:11 am

Wait, did you really just imply that men have no responsibility in providing contraception, that all children born without a father grow up to become “future criminals, drug addicts, and assorted other losers” and refer to women you know nothing about as ‘sluts’ ?

Quality journalism.

You should really focus on your eyebrows before you come for other people’s private lives.

steph on March 16, 2014 at 12:27 pm

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