June 1, 2012, - 4:51 pm
My reviews of this weekend’s new movies:
* “Snow White and the Huntsman“: Nope, it’s not about that Utah liberal pretending to be a Republican in the primaries. But it’s pretty liberal and has pan-Muslim sympathies, too. As in this year’s previous Snow White flick (“Mirror Mirror”–read my review), it’s a dark, feminist revisionist version of Snow White that ends up being a catfight between the evil witch queen (Charlize “I have orgasms for Cuba’s Castro” Theron) and Xena Snow White Warrior Princess (Kristen Stewart). None of this comes as a surprise, since the movie is by the same people who made the pan-feminist “Alice in Wonderland” (read my review), in which Alice is now a warrior princess kick-butt action figure.
And the men in the movie? Well, they are accessories like a purse or a bag. And one of them cries (while Snow White, far more masculine than he, never sheds a single tear). Snow White wears chain mail and a knight’s outfit, leading the legion of knights into battle. Puh-leeze. Yes, I know it’s a fairy tale, but since when was Snow White a she-man warrior? Uh, sorry, but reality check: men are the strong ones and the ones in physical fighting who win and best women, in almost all cases, despite the fantasies of the ghost of Betty Friedan and the aging human crypt of skin known as Gloria Steinem.
I also wanna know when Snow White became a vehicle for pro-Muslim propaganda. The only people who are kind to Snow White and a male ally are a group of people whose women wear niqabs (full-ninja Muslim face-veils) and whose men wear kufis (Muslim hats). And they become victims for helping her. Of course, my surprise at this stopped when I noted that one of three screenplay authors is named Hossein Amini.
Beyond that, the movie’s story is creepy, scary, thrilling, entertaining, and well-told. The costumes, visuals, and special effects are stunning. If you can look beyond the feminist and pan-Islamic baloney (and Theron’s disgusting pan-Communist BS on Castro and Cuba), you’ll enjoy it, as I did. And yes, there are the seven dwarves.
In this story, there is no “prince charming” to rescue Snow White. Instead, there is a “huntsman” (Chris Hemsworth), who is originally paid to hunt for her in the dark forest at the behest of the queen. But he, very predictably, falls for Snow White, instead, and there is a duke’s son, who is also a rival for her love. The movie is set up to be just like her Twilight movies with a love triangle of two men who are more the women, while she assumes the male role.
It’s violent and bloody, so it’s NOT for kids.
ONE-AND-A-HALF REAGANS PLUS TWO BETTY FRIEDANS PLUS A BIN LADEN
Watch the trailer. . .
* “High School“: Hey, yet another piece of utter garbage that is so bad it never would have been made, but for the Michigan Film Tax Credits that subsidized it. It’s a liberal movie in which the kids are brilliant, the authority figures–the principals and teachers–are sleazebags and morons, and there are no parents to speak of (if there were, they’d be idiots, too, of course). The movie is filthy, vile, and just plain stupid. It’s a stoner comedy, but it’s just not funny. Makes “Dude, Where’s My Car?” look downright Shakespearean.
Adrien Brody sure fell a long way down the slippery slope from when he won an Oscar for his portrayal of a Jew in Holocaust Europe. Here he’s a Black-wannabe, crazy drug dealer with cornrows and tattoos.
His customers are two kids from the local high school. One of them is a complete burnout loser, and in the anti-Semitic tradition of crappy Hollywood movies lately (most of them made by self-hating Jews), the filmmakers want you to know that this bad person and cause of major disasters is a Jew. He has a giant Jewish Star tattoo on his back shown on screen at some length, in case you might miss his religion and ethnicity. (This was the case in “Project X” (read my review) and “Act of Valor” (read my review) and several others I’ve reviewed on this site.
The other kid is brilliant and on his way to becoming class valedictorian. But, at the behest of the stoner Jewish kid, he tries marijuana on the day before the principal (Michael Chiklis) decides to drug-test everyone in the school. If the smart kid tests positive, he’ll be kicked out of school and won’t be valedictorian. So he and the Jewish kid conspire to rob a drug dealer (Brody) and get the whole school high with pot brownies they bake and put at the school bake sale (replacing the legit brownies). Disaster ensues.
I wanted to walk out of this for the entire two hours I sat there, but if I did, I woudn’t be allowed to review it. You were warned. It’s an IQ test. If you waste your time and money to go see this, anyway, you failed. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time, and I’ve seen a lot of stinkers. Doubles for both high-quality Gitmo torture material and Al-Qaeda recruitment propaganda about how bad America is.
FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR BIN LADENS
Watch the trailer . . .
Tags: Adrien Brody, anti-Semitic, Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, High School, Hossein Amini, Islam, Jihad, Kristen Stewart, kufi, kufis, Michael Chiklis, movie, movie review, Movie Reviews, Muslim, niqab, niqabs, pro-Muslim, Snow White & Islam, Snow White & Muslims, Snow White & the Huntsman, Snow White and the Huntsman