June 17, 2012, - 12:47 pm
If you have or had a father in your life, the Jerry Sandusky trial should serve as a stark reminder of how lucky you are/were.
How lucky I was. How lucky we were to have a loving, providing, caring man of honor in our lives. Sandusky’s victims were not so fortunate, and it’s the primary reason they were left to be raped by him and couldn’t get out of the situation. The Sandusky case is just one of many examples of what happens to kids who don’t have a father, who are raised by single mothers, as more than 42% of all American kids today are now born out of wedlock and don’t have a father in their lives. As I’ve noted on this site, social researchers have said that, unlike in other nations, the kids born out of wedlock in America, have no male role model in their lives.
The news regarding testimony in the child rape cases against the former Penn State assistant football coach is unavoidable and disgusting. Also unavoidable is the fact that almost every single one of these men–then boys–had one thing in common: they were boys without a father who desperately wanted and needed one. They were kids of single moms. They needed a decent father in their lives, and they had none. That left a huge void for Jerry Sandusky to invade. “He was like a father to me,” said “Victim #3,” one of the men who was just a boy when he was raped repeatedly by Sandusky. He said he did not remember the last time he saw his real father. “He made me feel like I was part of something, like a family,” the victim said of Sandusky.
Don’t forget that these kids came to Sandusky through his Second Mile Foundation for troubled kids. They were troubled because they didn’t have a dad in their lives to show them how to be a man and a good citizen. We know that kids who do have a father are less likely to be involved with crime and drugs as many of the kids who ended up at the Second Mile Foundation.
These kids were desperate for a male role model in their lives. Their fathers shirked that responsibility and their mothers also shirked their responsibility to carefully choose one for their sons. Enter Sandusky. He took these boys out to eat, to sporting events, paid them attention–all the things the man who gave the sperm that created them should have been doing. All the things a good father does. And the thing a good mother does was lacking in the single mothers who gave birth to these sons. Yes, the single mothers in these instances bear a huge responsibility for what happened to their sons because of their lack of due diligence and lazy aversion to inquiry about the man who took such a strangely active interest in their sons. Both the sperm and egg/womb donors of these kids created the opportunity for Jerry Sandusky’s despicable predations.
A father is far more important in a child’s life than a mother, especially today, when women are not nurturers, but aggressive players in the workplace who are not home for their kids. A father shows his son how to treat women and how to grow up and mature. A father shows his daughter how a woman should be treated by a man. Kids (of both sexes) who don’t have this in their lives are more likely to accept abuse by men, as was the case with the boys who were Sandusky’s victims. They are less likely to mature properly or on pace and to become responsible adults and good Americans.
I was lucky. I had a father who loved me dearly and spent a lot of time with me and my siblings. He paid attention to us, was involved in our lives, and there to congratulate us when we did good, encourage us to do better when we did not, and scold and punish us when we did wrong. To make sure we ate and had a good night’s sleep, that we were properly cared for when we were sick. Jerry Sandusky’s victims didn’t have that. Instead, they had a rapist who filled the void and sometimes pretended to do these things.
If we were not so cavalier and carefree today about single motherhood; if we held both the men and women who casually give bodily fluids to create these kids, to a higher standard, maybe there would be fewer “Jerry’s kids.” Fewer victims. In fact, we know that’s not a maybe. It’s an undeniable fact. Ignoring that fact is tearing down our country in a way that Islamic terrorists and a bad economy never could.
Despite what any liberal, lesbian couple, single mother, or social engineer might tell you, there is NO family without a father. Period.
Today, if your dad is still here, thank him for taking responsibility, for protecting and sheltering you and teaching you life’s lessons so that you can pass this on to your children. If your father is gone-as mine is–remember these things and how fortunate you were to have some of his time on earth as your time. I definitely was, and it’s a gift that is priceless and oh so precious.
Thanks, Dad. I love you and I miss you.
Tags: Father's Day, fathers, Jerry Sandusky, Jerry Sandusky Trial, single mothers, Victim #3