July 31, 2013, - 2:00 pm
Meet People Mag’s New “Sexiest Man Alive”: The “Hunky Undocumented Immigrant” . . . Just in Time for Amnesty
Welcome to illegal alien chick lit. Hot sex with an illegal alien–now apparently the magazine’s choice for “Sexiest Man Alive”–is the fantasy People magazine is now pushing.
The summer isn’t over yet, and while immigration amnesty remains on Congress’ front burner, People wants women across America to fall in love with “hunky undocumented immigrants” during summer beach reading. The magazine’s July 22nd issue uses its books section to pimp American chicks on Luanne Rice’s “The Lemon Orchard,” which sings the sexual praises of illegal aliens. Well, Jeb Bush did tell us that illegal aliens are “more fertile” (Swimming Lessons by Jeb?).
People book reviewer Sue Corbett practically orgasms on the written page over the fictional sexual properties of “Roberto, the undocumented immigrant who manages the estate” of relatives of Julia. “Julia, wealthy and educated,” is mourning her daughter’s suicide, while house-sitting the estate, which consists of her relatives’ citrus grove in Malibu. Roberto is apparently unlike the many illegal aliens in America who are on public entitlements, commit various crimes, and aren’t quite so sexy in any way, shape, or form.
There’s a whiff of the noble savage about Roberto, the hunky Mexican who unfreezes Julia’s heart.
Hmmm . . . is it “bigoted” to point out that there is indeed a “whiff” of something about many illegal aliens? The whiff I’ve encountered is neither noble or savage. It’s actually far more malodorous. The whiff of alcohol on many illegal alien drunk drivers. The whiff of sweat on many illegal aliens who take American construction and meatpacking plant jobs. The whiff of falafel and shawarmeh and explosives-making material on illegal aliens like convicted Hezbollah terrorist Mahmoud Kourani (who definitely ain’t “hunky”). The whiff of paint on that illegal alien Chinese chick who defiled the Lincoln Memorial.
Oh, and by the way, the “book” tells you about the source of Roberto’s major anguish–those nasty borders we try to maintain:
During his first attempt to cross the border, he was separated from his young daughter . . . . It’s justifying to watch Julia awaken to a challenge: Even if she can’t bring her own child back, perhaps she can help Roberto find out what happened to his.
Ya see? Secure borders is a bad thing. If the borders were secure, Julia wouldn’t be able to have mucho sex with hunky Roberto on the exotic Malibu citrus grove and help him find his illegal alien daughter.
So, when does the first illegal alien porno flick come out? (“Deep Throat a La Raza”?) Illegal alien candy? An illegal alien Fisher-Price doll?
Tags: amnesty, Illegal Alien Chick Lit, Illegal Aliens, Immigration, Luanne Rice, People Magazine, Sue Corbett, The Lemon Orchard