August 19, 2013, - 5:30 pm
File this under, “Yeah, Right, Times Infinity.”
The thing about funerals is that (except with some notable exceptions) people go overboard in beatifying and declaring the absolute sainthood of the newly departed. Like claims that the most handsome (in others’ view) and philandering of Presidents tried to make a play for Helen Thomas a/k/a Helen tHAMAS, Hezbollah’s and HAMAS’ homeliest cheerleader (and the competition for that gig is stiff while making men anything but).
JFK Probably Hit This . . .
Definitely Not That . . .
On Thursday, the world’s sexiest woman alive!, Jew-hatin’ Thomas, had her funeral. And a ton of people, from far-left self-hating Jew, Detroit News editor-in-chief and publisher Jonathan Wolman, to other noted urinalists and drama queens of self-indignance and hypocrisy, sang the praises of this lookalike of the doll from the “Saw” horror movies. Among the claims of Thomas’ niece, Suzanne Geha, is that President John F. Kennedy “dated” the fugly Thomas and made a pass at her.
Geha, a veteran TV reporter and anchor in Michigan, told personal stories about Thomas, including a new one about how she once dated future President John F. Kennedy before he was married. “He was too fresh,” Geha recalled Thomas saying about Kennedy.
“She didn’t like him as a date.”
For my readers under age 87, “fresh” is ye olde English for “he made a pass at her of some sort.” Uh-huh. Suuuuuuure, they went out on a date. Suuuure, he was “fresh” with her. Perhaps she got the fact that she was perpetually way too ripe ripe mixed up with “fresh.”
I mean, I know that Bill Clinton didn’t exactly choose lookers as his prey (see Hillary, Monica, Paula, etc.). But JFK . . . that’s a different story. This guy had his pick, from Marilyn Monroe to mobster chicks to Jackie. Helen Thomas is the square peg that doesn’t fit. To paraphrase the late Redd Foxx as Fred Sanford, “She fell off da ugly tree, and she done hit every branch.” Unlike in fairy tales, methinks Prez Kennedy knew that when you kiss a frog, it doesn’t turn into a prince (or princess). It’s still just an ugly frog. There’s a reason that–even though she eventually married–that black-hearted Hezbo/HAMAS-lover never reproduced. And thank Heaven for small favors.
Um, no, I don’t believe for a second that JFK tried to touch that thing called Helen Thomas.
But, as we know, just like her claims against the Jews and Israel, Helen tHAMAS liked to make up stories.
Helen tHAMAS Fashion Tip: If You’re Bleepin’ Ugly, Leopard Prints Don’t Make You Sexy . . .
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