October 2, 2009, - 12:01 pm
I used to wonder why David Letterman called his longtime production company, “Worldwide Pants, Inc.” Now, I know why. It’s just an abbreviation for the real name: Worldwide Get In Your Pants, Inc.
Yes, the whole David Letterman saga of admitting he used his personal staff like his own personal concubinage on the set of “The Bachelor” isn’t just sordid. I could do a great comedy monologue on it. So could you. I don’t condone extortion and blackmail (plus they’re illegal)–in this case that of a CBS “48 Hours” producer. But here it’s ironic that it’s literally a case of he made his bed (or didn’t make it), and he “slept” in it. Yup, this aging, formerly funny (like two decades ago) late night host isn’t just a creep. He’s creepy. Yuck.
And while I thought conservative feigned outrage over his jokes about Sarah Palin’s daughter and her allegedly looking like a “slutty flight attendant” were a little over the top (especially about the daughter–hello . . . we knew which daughter she was referring to, and she is in fact a proud babymama and the Palins should have been embarrassed, not outraged), I guess we now know why Letterman thinks he’s such an expert on slutty flight attendants and slutty everything else, since he used his staff as her personal set of multiple sperm depositories. (I guess he never heard the adage about not “bleeping” where you eat.) Now, the Palin family (classy in not publicly saying anything) is privately having the last laugh, not only because he’s turned out to be the real slut after all, but because at the same time, Sarah Palin’s ghostwriter’s book is number one on many retailer’s bestseller list and it isn’t even out yet.
Letterman’s monologue on the matter was a comedy routine, like he wasn’t embarrassed in the least that he was sleeping with women (yes, not just one womAn) on his staff. And he isn’t embarrassed.
One of the women in question is reportedly Letterman’s personal assistant at Worldwide (Get In Your) Pants. So much for people talking about the casting couch in Hollywood. At CBS latenight (Letterman and WW Get In Your Pants also produce the “Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson”), there isn’t just a casting couch. It’s a casting furniture store–yup, Worldwide Get In Your Pants IKEA.
But, hey, Letterman’s assistant reportedly got a lot of perks and career advancement opportunities in exchange for being on of his concubines. In the real world when you get compensation for sex, we usually call that prostutition.
But at Worldwide Get In Your Pants, that’s just business as usual. Just check out the top john’s monologue from last night.
Insert your best David Letterman joke in the comments section. (But remember, don’t use graphic or obscene language, which I know isn’t easy given this case.)
Tags: 48 Hours producer, blackmail, CBS, concubines, David Letterman, extortion, Late Show with David Letterman, Sarah Palin, sex with employees, Worldwide Get In Your Pants, Worldwide Pants