By Debbie Schlussel
Tonight, at sundown, the first day of the Jewish holiday of Chanukah begins. (Yes, it’s also spelled Channukah, Chanukkah, Hanukah, Hannukah, Hanukkah, and in several other ways as a result of Hebrew-to-English transliteration which isn’t an exact science, something I’ve covered on this site.)


Jewish U.S. Combat Unit Soldiers in World War II Celebrate Chanukah in the South Pacific Battlefield (Photos by U.S. Army Private Mack Gould) . . .


As you may have heard, it is also the first time since 1888 and the last time until the year 79811 that Thanksgiving and the first day of Chanukah coincide. That’s led to an, at first, cute and, now, totally annoying marketing gimmick in which several companies and some (mostly secular) Jews are pimping products bearing the name “Thanksgivukkah.” To me, it’s a stupid thing, especially since most of the people touting this are Jews who are far left, very secular, and know very little about Judaism, nor will this increase that. One kid invented a “menurkey,” a menorah (the Jewish candelabra we light on Chanukah) that is shaped like a turkey and isn’t even a kosher menorah, so it would not fulfill the Jewish requirement of lighting the menorah candles on Chanukah.
I’ve been asked by various readers and friends how I will celebrate “Thanksgivukkah,” and my response is that I don’t celebrate that fictional holiday. I celebrate both the Jewish holiday of Chanukah and the American holiday of Thanksgiving. But they are separate holidays marking separate and different things. One, Chanukah, is a religious, spiritual holiday, celebrating many miracles, including the incredible Jewish military victory of the Maccabees against the Assyrian-Greeks, who vastly outnumbered them, and the fact that a jar of oil to light the menorah candles in the Jewish Temple lasted eight days when there was only enough oil for one day. The other, Thankgiving, is a national holiday in thanks for the existence of our great country, its freedoms, and the many blessings bestowed upon us as Americans. If anything, the Pilgrims modeled Thanksgiving harvest celebrations on the Jewish Sukkot (or Tabernacles) celebrations.
And what galls me is that most of the Jews pimping me on this Thanksgivukkah baloney are liberal Jews and Obama voters and who have said and done nothing in protest of Obama’s absurd deal with the modern day equivalent of the Assyrian-Greeks: Iran. We live in a time of darkness, and they don’t get it. We have the greatest technological advances, cheap and easy clothes and accoutrements, plentiful food, and conveniences galore. But those are all window dressing when most of the world’s powers have made a deal with the devil, a one-sided deal in which we get nothing and the Iranians get everything. And there are no Maccabees to do anything about it. These Thanksgivukkah Jews are the modern-day Hellenist Jews, whom the Maccabees would slaughter in great numbers as they did the Hellenists. What most Jews don’t realize is that the Maccabees, while they killed the Greek soldiers and defeated King Antiochus Epiphanies, fought for years–more than two decades!–to reclaim Judaism and Israel and Jerusalem and the Temple, and most of those whom they had to fight and kill were Jews. These were the Jews who’d turned against Judaism and embraced the Greek materialistic lifestyle and idol worship. The Maccabees slaughtered tens (and maybe hundreds) of thousands more Jews than Greek soldiers. And they would have slaughtered these Thanksgivukkah Jews for the most part. These are the Jews In Name Only (JINOs) who like Jewish culture and foods, but they have no spiritual connection to me or the Torah. They need gimmick Judaism, just as they fell for a gimmick President. Style over substance on steroids. And that is the very definition of the Hellenism that was the antagonist and evil in the Chanukah story.

I guarantee you the father of that kid who trademarked and invented the non-kosher Thanksgivukkah menorah, the “Menurkey” (and the father paid for all those expenses), voted for Obama. And I guarantee you that he and his family would have been beheaded by the Maccabees. All of these Jewish groups–including to my great distress, the Orthodox Union, which is supposed to be the lead organization representing Orthodox Jews–have resigned themselves to this horrible agreement with Iran and refuse to oppose it, vehemently or otherwise. Yup, no Maccabees they. In fact, they are the modern-day equivalent of the anti-Maccabees. Wimps. Wusses.
We’ve made an agreement with Iran which forces them to do nothing. They are allowed to continue funding Hezbollah, which murdered hundreds of American Marines and U.S. Embassy workers and officials as well as Navy diver Robert Dean Stethem, and to continue to refuse to apologize to America for these murders or for holding our Americans hostage for 444 days in Tehran in 1979-1981. They are allowed to continue torturing and murdering political prisoners and Jews and Christians whose “crime” is practicing faith. The Iranians are allowed to continue executing gays and to financing Shi’ite terrorist fighters in Lebanon, Syria, and elsewhere and to fund Shi’ite rebellions from Dearborn, Michigan to Saudi Arabia’s Qatif Peninsula to Bahrain and elsewhere in the Gulf. Iran gets to continue its proud funding of HAMAS. And Iran continues building its Hezbollah satellites throughout Central and South America and throughout Africa. And Iran has said it will continue to enrich uranium and build plants which can only be used to complete its nuclear weapons aim. Read the rest of this entry »