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If you’ve been reading the papers since the Immigration Amnesty Bill failed on Thursday, then you know that a group of deluded Republican Senators who love to play abused, jilted lover, want another chance at trying to bury America and its sovereignty.

One particular article, from the front page of Friday’s USA Today, told us what we really need to know about top Republican officials, both elected and appointed:

The bill has drawn wide bipartisan support but also intense opposition from factions in both parties. Its collapse came despite an emergency trip to the Capitol by Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierrez and Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff to lobby for votes.

Wow, it’s good to know that Chertoff a/k/a “Mr. Burns” has finally found an emergency worthy of his attention. He didn’t see 20 million illegal aliens, missing Egyptian students, Hurricane Katrina, and a plethora of other REAL emergencies as emergencies. But selling out America–now that’s an emergency in the world according to Chertoff.

The Senate’s inability to act exasperated some. “Are we men or are we mice?” said Sen. Trent Lott, R-Miss., his party’s No. 2 leader. “If we can’t do this, we ought to vote to dissolve the Congress and go home until the next election.”

THAT’S A GREAT IDEA, MR. LOTT. START PACKING.
In 1866, Mark Twain was quoted as saying:

No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.

141 years later, that quote is more appropriate than ever.
Oh, and by the way, Senator Lott, you’re not men. Thanks for asking. “Mice” is a good choice. But I prefer, “traitors.”

Mr. (Montgomery) Burns’ Real Life Clone “Runs” Homeland Security . . .
Into the Ground
(Artwork by Jeff Holland/Holland Studios)

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I’ve always believed that if you are overweight, it’s your own fault (unless you are in a wheelchair–then you have an excuse). If you’re too lazy to control what goes in your mouth and refuse to work it off, then you deserve the outward results. Sorry, that “gland” excuse doesn’t cut it. Why don’t they have those glands in China and Japan (except Sumo wrestlers)? Yet, I’ve seen plenty of fat people of those ethnicities here in America, once they get acculturated and start emulating other Americans who eat non-stop at McDonald’s.
That said, I believe in personal food responsibility. I detest the Morgan Spurlocks of the world and the other food police (that means you, Bill Clinton), who’ve pressured fast food joints to get rid of supersized meals and items and schools to get rid of soda and candy machines. So, I applaud Denny’s for giving those food police a middle-finger salute with its latest offerings: two new “late night” megaburgers (sold only from 10:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m., daily):

Denny’s New Calorie-Busting SlamBurger and Full House Burger

The SlamBurger comes topped with cheesy hash brown casserole, a cooked-to-order egg and cheese sauce. The Full House Burger is covered with nacho meat, cheddar cheese, onions, cheese sauce, onion rings, mustard and ketchup.
And both have fries on the side.
The $5.99 SlamBurger weighs in at 1,080 calories. The $6.99 Full House tips the scales at 1,250 calories.

Don’t get me wrong. I would never eat these. First, they’re not kosher. And second, they sound disgusting. But I celebrate freedom. And freedom includes the choice to eat what you want and the choice of fast food purveyors to offer it.
I find it hilarious that extreme liberals like Morgan Spurlock and other food PC police–who are the first to yell and scream about a “woman’s right to do what she wants with her own body” when it comes to abortion–are the first to tell us (and fast food joints) what to do with our bodies and to try to regulate the offerings, when it comes to food.

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Palestinian Muslims–you know, members of the “Religion of Peace”–have found a new way of sending each other to the 72 virgins.
In the latest sequel of Al-Alien v. Al-Predator a/k/a HAMAS v. Fatah, the rival terrorists are now hurling each other off high-rise buildings to their deaths. Bravo. Keep it coming. Yes, what a civilized, peaceful religion this is (remember these terrorist body-hurlers are international heroes throughout the Muslim world):

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip – Gunmen fired at the house of Palestinian Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh of Hamas early Monday and warring factions threw militants to their deaths from high-rise buildings, in a dangerous escalation of infighting in Gaza. [DS: Their homicide bombings of innocent Israelis–apparently not so “dangerous” according to this AP report.]

HAMAS v. Fatah: Speak to the Wind (From 15 Floors Up)

There were no reports of casualties in the attack on Haniyeh’s house in the Shati refugee camp next to Gaza City. [DS: Damn.] His office wouldn’t say whether he was inside when the house and surrounding area came under heavy fire for about 15 minutes from a nearby high-rise building. But his wife, children and grandchildren were, his family said.
It was the first time in a month of fighting between Hamas and the rival Fatah group that Haniyeh was an apparent target. [DS: And hopefully NOT the last time.]
Before daybreak Monday the sides reached an agreement to stop the clashes, and Fatah-linked security forces began pulling back from points of friction around the Gaza Strip. But several such cease-fires in recent weeks have been short-lived. Shooting could still be heard at several points around Gaza City as residents awoke Monday.
The fighting took a grisly turn on Sunday, when Hamas militants kidnapped a member of the elite presidential guard of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas of Fatah, took him to the roof of a 15-story apartment building and threw him to his death. [DS: Israel vs. these barbarians is not a clash of the civilizations. Clearly, Israel is the only civilization to speak of in the area.]
That set off skirmishes throughout the city, including gun battles and shelling. Fatah militants surrounded the house of a Hamas mosque preacher, fired rocket-propelled grenades at the four-story building and then entered, firing at the preacher, and taking him away. Later, his body was brought to a hospital. Hamas pledged revenge.
And just before midnight, a Hamas activist was thrown off the 12th floor of a building and killed, security officials said. Four other Hamas men in the building were shot and wounded, bringing the day’s toll to three dead and 36 wounded, medical officials said. [DS: A good start.]
A Hamas militant wounded Friday in southern Gaza infighting also died on Sunday.
The two sides have been locked in a violent power struggle since Hamas ousted Fatah from power in January 2006 elections. Hamas brought Fatah into its government in March in an effort to quell the internal strife, but the fighting reignited in mid-May over an unresolved dispute over who controls the powerful security forces.
Fifty-five people have been killed in the latest outbreak of violence, most of them militants. A truce declared two weeks ago was meant to end the clashes, but last week the fighting resumed around the southern Gaza city of Rafah.
Both Abbas and Haniyeh called on gunmen to pull back from streets and rooftops to allow about 24,000 Gaza 12th grade high school students to start their final exams on Monday.

Uh, they can’t even keep a truce for two seconds between them and they throw each other off high-rises. Yet, Israel is expected to gamble its entire future on these animals. Puh-leeze.
Alien vs. Predator: Palestinian Muslim Sequel #5245 . . . .

HAMAS v. Fatah
Jason and Freddy are getting jealous.

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There’s a lot of pop culture chatter throughout the media over tonight’s series finale of HBO’s “The Sopranos,” about the mob family of Tony Soprano and friends (and rats).
I never got into the show. First, I don’t subscribe to HBO, and second, one of the episodes I saw involved some guy named Ralph or Ralphie being beaten to death, dismembered, and then his head in a bowling bag being buried. It turned my stomach, and I found it to be violence for no reason, coupled with a boring plot concerning people about whom I cared nothing.
Believe me, I’m no prude, and I like a good, artfully done mob movie, like “The Godfather,” or especially “” (where the bad guys get it in the end). But I just never got the allure of this one. So please, dear readers, help me “capisce” why you like this show, instead of–like me–saying, “Fuhgedaboutit.”

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Earlier this week, I discussed the newly unveiled, epileptic-seizure-inducing (no lie) Londonistan and International Olympic Committees’ .
Some readers told me they think the new logo–aside from being totally fugly–resembles a Nazi swastika. And, indeed, it does. As you will recall, I and my personal Photoshop artist David Lunde of Lundesigns unveiled our more appropriate 2012 Londonistan Olympic Logo.
Now, Elgin Tyrell says it looks like a cave man creation (check his logo out–he has a point). Rumor Mill News notes that the unscrambled Londonistan Olympic logo sections–designed to look like a puzzle–are, in fact, the letters of a word that has been villified, but which we here at love: “ZION.” We especially love it since we are “evil” “Zionists” and damn proud of it. Rumor Mill News’ Londonistan 2012 Olympic Games Logo . . .

After seeing this, for sure Londonistan will change it (and not because 10 people had epileptic seizures from the unscrambled, original logo).
Debbie Schlussel/David Lunde Londonistan 2012 Olypic Games Logo . . .

Fugly, Epileptic-Seizure-Inducing Original Londonistan 2012 Olympic Games Logo . . .

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Finally, there is a scant bit of justice in America.
Yes, the most famous amateur porn star in America is being sent back to jail after the L.A. County Sheriff played judge and put her under mansion-arrest.
To those of you (that means you, Ann Coulter, with whom I usually agree) who say that our nation’s most celebrated Ho (that means Paris Hilton, for those of you that listen to, produce, and star on the Frank Beckmann Show) got a tough sentence because she’s rich and famous, I say think again. Sorry, but I’ve seen–and represented–criminal defendants who’ve done a lot less and have been given a lot less chances and pampered treatment.

Amateur Porn Star/Professional Skank Paris Hilton
Take Carmen Granata. I thought it was ridiculous when Eastpointe, Michigan District Court Judge Norene Redmond meted out a 30-day jail sentence for Ms. Granata because a guest at a party at her house spoke too loud on a cell phone at 2:00 a.m. outside, and a neighbor called police. But, unfortunately, Ms. Granata–no Paris Hilton–was forced to serve 30 days (she got two days off her sentence after she behaved well in prison–unlike Paris Hilton, whose original sentence already was cut in half, after it was psychicly-determined ahead of time that she’d behave well before the fact).
I felt bad for Ms. Granata, who shouldn’t have served a day, and now has all kinds of ridiculous post-sentence conditions, plus a two-year probation. I do not feel sorry for Skankis Hilton.
If Paris Hilton had gone before District Court Judge Marla Parker in Farmington Hills, Michigan, Judge Robert Bondy in Novi, Michigan, or Judge Susan Moiseev, of Southfield, Michigan, all of whom would have told Hilton off and thrown her in the slammer at first blush. Ditto for almost any judge in Macomb County Circuit Court, Michigan, under whom I’d bet she’d get a tough sentence at the very beginning of her driving misbehavior, and not get two probations.
I’ve seen plenty of people–who are poor and need to drive to get to work, because they can’t afford a cab or a driver–get the book thrown at them for a lot less.
Paris Hilton–who could well afford a full-time chauffeur or cab–not only drove on an expired license, but she TWICE violated probation and flaunted it. Even this morning, the judge in her case only found out on the radio that Ms. “One Night in Paris” (that’s the title of her most famous “movie”) was going to appear in his court via telephone. Uh, you–the defendant–don’t get to decide that, if you don’t feel like coming to court, you can just phone it in. That’s the judge’s decision.
And it seems like no-one here–not Paris Hilton, who flouted the judge now four times (two probations, one order to appear, and then another order to appear–she came 20 minutes late to court, when she finally did appear), not the PR-dense L.A. County Sheriff–no-one gets it.
Then, there’s Greta Van Facelift from FOX News a/k/a . She told FOX News’ Shepard Smith (he was also whining over the porn star’s sentence) that she thinks it’s unfair that Paris Hilton is going to jail because, after all, “I saw her whisper, ‘I Love You, Mom,’ in the courtroom.” BFD. My heart is so touched. A lot of criminal defendants love their moms. And some of them are much better actors. I guess Ms. Van Facelift er . . . Susteren raved over Paris’ acting job in the remake of “House of Wax.” No-one else bought it.
Van Susteren told Shep Smith that Paris Hilton was shaking and shivering and had a nervous tick, and so she shouldn’t go back to jail. Puh-leeze. There are a lot of shiverers in prison. Why was Hilton shivering after a peaceful night of mansion-arrest and Olympic-sized-swimming-pool-Hollywood-Hills-arrest? Maybe she was on something. and was undergoing withdrawal. Again, Greta Van Susteren, your BS detector is sadly defective. Head to Home Depot for a new one.
Bottom line: I applaud the judge–no, Ann Coulter, I don’t know his name (she told PAWNN’s Neil Cavuto) that the judge did it for the fame)–and his message to America’s Skank-in-Chief:

Back to Prison, Ho.

Had she stayed under mansion-arrest, she’d be doing a lot of this. A little jail-time would be good for her . . .
(WARNING: This video contains vile language, courtesy of Paris and her boyfriend.)

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BTW, watch for my fave party-crasher, Jake Byrd–an actor who used to stalk Michael Jackson, now stalking the Parison Hilton circus for Jimmy Kimmel. He’ll be on tonight’s Kimmel Show. Tell me how it went and post that video on YouTube, so I can post it on Sunday or Monday.

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Palestinian terrorists throw rocks at little Palestinian girl. Palestinians paralyze little Palestinian girl. Palestinian girl almost dies. Who saves her? Who else? The Israelis. That’s who . . .

The Palestinian mother is wrong about one thing. If this had been Palestinians who found a Jewish girl dying, they’d have finished her and her parents off. That’s the difference between these two peoples. Period. Time to wake up and smell the rotten shawarmeh, woman.

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Here’s a short video of Bob Dylan (real name: Robert Allen Zimmerman), his son-in-law Peter Himmelman, and actor Harry Dean Stanton performing “Hava Nagilah”. Even if you are not Jewish, you’ve probably heard the song “Hava Nagilah” (“Let’s Rejoice”) on the organ at pro and minor league hockey games all over America, where it is a staple.
The performance was on a Los Angeles telethon for the Chabad Lubavitch Center of Los Angeles. The Lubavitchers are a group of Hassidic Orthodox Jews who are well-known for their kindness and generosity to all. In Los Angeles, they helped poor, homeless people dying of AIDS (who were mostly not Jewish), providing them hospice homes where they could die in peace and dignity. When I was in grad school in Wisconsin, they helped me to observe the Jewish holidays. Angelina Jolie’s father, actor and is very pro-Israel–appears at the end, as he was MC of the event.

FYI, Bob Dylan’s song, “Neighborhood Bully,” is a tribute to Israel, under siege by anti-Semites/Muslim nations throughout its neighborhood.
For those who watched the video, the word “mitzvah” means “good deed,” “chazzan” is cantor, and “shul” means synagogue.

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Saudi Prince Bandar was so close to President Bush that on the evening of 9/11, after America was attacked by 15 of his countrymen, Prince Bandar was on the Roosevelt Balcony with the Prez, smoking stogies. Bandar is so close to his father and the rest of the Bushes that they nicknamed him “Bandar Bush.”
Bandar’s wife, Princess Haifa Al-Faisal, is the one who–you’ll recall–paid the rent for two of those countrymen–two of the 9/11 hijackers, Nawaf Al-Hazmi and Khalid Al-Midhar. But she really didn’t know where the money was going. That’s what she says, so it must be so. Right?

Bandar BS Book: Good Enough to Fertilize Your Lawn
Now, Prince Bandar is caught in a kickback scheme. He accepted $2 BILLION (U.S. Dollars) in kickbacks from British defense contractors. He had a lifestyle to keep up after all, and the end justified the means. And his friends, like Tony Blair, shut down a Brit investigation by it’s Serious Fraud Office (I like that name, as opposed to Silly Fraud Office) into it because it was “a matter of national security.” Uh-huh.
NBC reported on this, last night, but reader Rick sends a more in-depth piece from Associated Press. Read it.
Hmmm . . . I thought Islam was against cheating. And against paying interest. And against dishonesty. And blackmail. And extortion. And bribery.
Oops! I forgot. Those only apply when dealing with other Muslims. When it comes to ripping off the Infidels, for our “friends” and “allies in the War on Terror”–the Saudis–it’s “Yalah“–Go!
Oh, and just to remind you who else is in the Bandar Bush Alliance of Sleaze, Nelson Mandela said this of Prince Bandar in promoting a new book gushing over the Prince:

A man of principle, a diplomat of astonishing caliber, and one of the great peacemakers of our time.

Principle, indeed. So, if Bandar Bush got $2 Billion from British contractors, how much did he get from American ones? . . .

In case there was any doubt about his political affiliation, Michael Moore and his wife are hosting the premiere of his new movie, “Sicko,” in the charming, newly-swanky northern Michigan city of Petoskey (namesake of the beautiful Petoskey stone found in Lake Michigan), as an Antrim County Democratic party fundraiser, next week.
But Moore, ever the fly in America’s ointment, says he will make the movie available to the GOP, too . . . if they can prove they are worthy:

Moore is gleeful that the U.S. premiere for “Sicko” will be held not in New York or Hollywood, but in tiny Bellaire on June 16 to benefit the Antrim County Democratic Party.
“I did it at my wife’s request,” Moore says. Kathleen Glynn is vice chairwoman of the Antrim County Democrats.

In the past, you’d have to go to a hippie music festival like Blissfest to find a Democrat in northern Michigan. But after being almost underground in this bastion of pickups, luxury cottages and Republicans, the Democrats have grown from less than 30 members in 2003 to 250 active members today, said party Chairman Jim McKimmey.
Encouraged by the Moores, the party also has become more proactive about community outreach, helping fund local food pantries, dispensing Christmas gifts and financial help throughout Antrim County. To offset any criticism from Republicans, Moore says he’s also offering “Sicko” for Republican fundraisers as well, if they can show him that they are doing similar community service.
When asked about all the Democratic hoopla over the “Sicko” premiere, Antrim County Republican Party Co-Chairwoman Carol Perrin said, “I’d rather not comment.”

Well, apparently, the Antrim County Dems have officers who are not locals. Moore and his wife, the County Dem officer, actually live in a swanky $1.2 million Manhattan apartment, complete with doorman.
More Moore on “The View”:

I’m doing ‘The View’ without Rosie!” Moore wailed, comically. “Who’s going to protect me from that blonde? She already got rid of Rosie, what’s she going to do to me!”

As much as I don’t like Moore, I wouldn’t be too worried of airhead and fake conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck. He’ll eat her for lunch, just as Rosie did. And both he and Rosie physically look as if they already have.
Among my previous work on The Bloated One:
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