By Debbie Schlussel
Cindy Sheehan could learn a few moves from the annoying “ladies” of ABC’s “The View.” She’s shameless, but they are more so.
This morning, the “ladies” of “The View” pretended to play employment agency with a soldier who served in Iraq and helped catch Saddam Hussein. But what they really meant to do was demoralize the rest of the troops and the rest of the us. And use this poor soldier to promote themselves.
Spc. Jeans Cruz appeared on the anti-male yenta-fest, today, with this repeatedly popping up on the chyron: “Says He Can’t Find a Job After Capturing Saddam Hussein”.
First a video showing Paul Bremer announcing, “We got him” and Saddam’s vivid capture, was shown.
Then, like a doe in the headlights, Cruz was treated to the deep thinking, progesterone over-infused “ladies” of “The View”. The “ladies”–including and especially buffoonish Star Jones–expressed concern and dismay that Cruz can’t find a job. They asked him if he has PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), and he said yes. Jones, who repeatedly turned on an off her accent, exclaimed “We go’n get you a job!” after Meredith Vieira admonished “politicians who praise the soldiers who are fighting the war, but it’s really hollow praise.”

3 Things Star Jones & Monica Lewinsky Have in Common:
Cigars, Lots of Food, and Tubs … er, Women We Don’t Want to See in a Tub
At the end of the show, Vieira announced that “we are not going to forget this.” Of course, they won’t. There would be no more publicity, self-adulation, and opportunity to bash the efforts in Iraq, if they “forgot this.” Star Jones yelled that, for once, it was good there was someone from each political party on the panel because, “We go’n make same calls. We go’n call everybody.” Her garish behavior, today, outdid even her garish, over-hyped $2 million wedding.
All but one of the women–Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who claims to be a conservative, but also participated in this shameful display–oppose the war in Iraq. I feel bad for Cruz, but he was used by these women. If and when he finds a job, he will be used by them again. They should be ashamed. But, alas, they are shameless. Even more shameless than Air America’s Randi Rhodes and MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, both of whom have already similarly used Cruz (to make their point that if you serve in Iraq and catch Saddam, you will return home thankless and unemployed).
The “ladies” of “The View” do not care a lick about our soldiers. If they did, they’d stop harping on President Bush and the war, repeatedly. And they would find Cruz a job off the airwaves, and without the publicity that they crave.

By Debbie Schlussel
“Big Brother,” the moronic reality show about several boring, annoying people in a house, doesn’t usually merit a mention–especially by me. The most momentous event was when the U.S. version of the show (now boring America for a sixth season of zero ratings on CBS) chose a right-hand man to late Farrakhanite Khalid Abdul Muhammad as a participant in its first season.
But the Dutch version of “Big Brother” is interesting for one reason, and one reason only. A pregnant participant on the show has sparked the concern of the real “Big Brother”–the hypocritical Dutch government. The Netherlands–which is too laissez-faire on the four Ps (pot, pornography, pregnancy/abortion, and prostitution) and assisted suicide–is too intrusive here. The Dutch Social Affairs ministry will decide, this week, whether to grant a work permit for the yet unborn child of “Tanja”–to allow her to have her baby on the show. The Dutch government doesn’t care, though, that Tanja smokes cigarettes while pregnant.
With all of the people being euthanized in the Netherlands and all of the other problems the country has, it is worried about whether to let a woman have her own baby appear on a dumb reality show. And it–government–gets to decide, not the mother of the child. Yet another reason why government–even in the Netherlands–is the real “Big Brother.”

By Debbie Schlussel
This week, we are giving out the Fine Whine of the Week award early. We simply don’t believe anything will top the whines of AP, Detroit Free Press, L.A. Times, etc. that there are no women in the Harris Interactive College Football Poll, which is now part of the BCS. There were women in the larger pool, but the 114 voters were selected at random, with no women chosen.
Why is this a problem? The poll decides college football rankings for bowl games and the like. How many female college football players are there? None (unless you count a few litigious kickers who played at places like Duke and University and Colorado, then sued for alleged discrimination, alleged rape, etc.).
This is just the latest in the never-ending whine of feminists who know little about sports but want to assert themselves everywhere they are not wanted, whether it is in the announcing booth , coaching men’s basketball teams, etc.
Somebody, please, make it stop.

By Debbie Schlussel
Today’s USA Today has a giant puff piece about two CIA wives, Stephanie Glakas-Tenet and Julie Sussman, and their silly new book, “Dare to Repair Your Car! A Do-It-Herself Guide to Maintenance, Safety, Minor Fix-Its and Talking Shop.” (The first thing they need to repair is the title. Way too long.)
Yes, Glakas-Tenet is the wife of former CIA director George Tenet. She claims she learned how to repair cars because her husband was always away. Judging from the way he ran the CIA (Hello? . . . 9/11, Arming Palestinian Terrorists, etc.), maybe Tenet should have stayed home and repaired the car. Our country would have been a lot better off.

Embarrassing: This woman’s muscles larger than those of former CIA Director George Tenet & CIA wife Joe Wilson combined.
This is one of the few cases in which we, here at DebbieSchlussel.com, understand why the feminist wife held on to her maiden name. The CIA wives also wrote books on home fix-its and plumbing. (Insert CIA plumbing joke here.)
There are plenty of good car repair books, but they are by men who weren’t married to a failed CIA director, so no big plug in USA Today. Perhaps the time is right for CIA wife Joe Wilson (a/k/a Mr. Valerie Plame) and FBI double agent Robert Philip Hanssen’s wife to write home improvement and fix-it books, too. It would certainly be better than the boring fiction Wilson has already written about Niger, Saddam Hussein, and his wife.

By Debbie Schlussel
For someone who claims (and we all know he’s lying) that he’s against terrorism and opposes HAMAS, Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas sure isn’t acting like it. In the first official acts following the Gaza giveaway, Abbas’ cabinet secretary general, Samir Huleileh, announced that the PA is discussing new names for the evacuated Jewish settlements and surrounding infrastructure.
Among the proposed names are Yasser Arafat, and HAMAS founder and spiritual leader Sheikh Ahmed Yassin. In the past, Abbas–in his first act as then-Palestinian Prime Minister–named a town square in Ramallah, “Al Alinah Amani Square,” after a homicide bomber in Iraq who murdered American soldiers.
Other names used will be those of martyrs and important events and figures in “Palestinian history.”
Here are some other names I propose for the newly acquired areas of HAMASastan:
* 72 Dark-Eyed Virgins Strip Club (Concubine Rental Available; See for details)
* Uday & Qusay Memorial Bathhouse and Olympic Training Center
* /Gloria Steinem/Christianne Amanpour Exploding the Glass Ceiling Institute for the Study and Advancement of Female Martyrs
* Glamour Shots Last Photo Studio for Martyrs, located next to the Hanan Ashrawi Beauty Salon and Plastic Surgery Center
* School for Professional Car Thieves, Criminals, and Aspiring Congressmen
* Black September Olympic Stadium
* & Useful Idiots Outhouse
* / ICE Double Agent Global
* / Evil Zionist Conspiracy Theory Movie House (Morgan Spurlock Supersized Islamist BS Theater available for overflow)
* “No Such thing as Islamic Terrorism” Palestinian Law Enforcement Training center
* School of Jihad Journalism (Gaza and Dearborn Bureaus)
* HAMAS Horse Farm and Love Center
* Fatah Fake Fatwas against Terrorism Forgery Clinic
* (new flavors: Fatwa Chocolate Chip; Destroy America Double Fudge; Sorbet; Throwing Rocks Rocky Road; High-Fat Explode Your Belt Vanilla; Multiple-Wives Rainbow Sherbet; Kill the Jews Crunch; Yasser Swiss Chocolate Bank Account; Pistachio Jihad; Concubine Cherry; Shaheed Allah Moose Tracks; Rafah Weapons Tunnels Rum Raisin; Karine A Karamel Kreme)
Additions welcome in the comments section . . . .

By Debbie Schlussel
The Detroit Free Press’ intrepid reporter, Dawson Bell, writes that Michigan’s 50,000 inmates will be unable to view FOX’s “Prison Break,” when it debuts tonight–only the second time Michigan prisoners have experienced censorship in their TV viewing.
The blackout is understandable, since the show allegedly features architectural drawings for underground utility tunnels, prison riots, etc. The main character breaks into prison to get his wrongly convicted death-row prisoner brother out. He tattoos the prison blueprints on his body.
Interestingly, the show–taped at Illinois’ retired Joliet facility–is permitted viewing for Illinois prisoners. Why?
***UPDATE: 08/30/05–I watched “Prison Break’s” debut, last night, and I can definitely understand the Michigan Dept. of Corrections’ decision to censor this show from the prisoner-viewing public. It would only inflame prisoners and inspire them to violence, chaos, and plans to escape. In the first two hours of the show, prisoners engaged in many fights, acts of violence, riots, crafting of weapons, escape plans, etc. After watching, my question is even more pronounced: Why were Illinois prisoners (the “Prison Break” setting) allowed to watch this show?

By Debbie Schlussel
Besides being a shameless pimp-and-ho show, the MTV Video Music Awards show now rivals the Superbowl for the most criminals performing. (And like the NFL, the criminals weren’t advertised in the promotions.)
First there was R. Kelly. Awaiting trial for having sex with and urinating on a 14-year-old girl (while making a porn videotape of it)–and suspected of the same with multiple other under-aged teen-age girls, you’d think he’d be ashamed. And you’d think that MTV’s audience might be a little subdued during his performance. But you would be wrong.
R. Kelly’s “actions” only enhance his street-cred with the MTV crowd (not to mention those who made his silly 5-part soap opera song CD #1 on the charts).

R. Kelly & Lil’ Kim: Two of MTV’s Most Wanted
Then there is , the sleazy rapper about to go to the big house for lying to a grand jury and obstruction of justice, claiming she didn’t know and didn’t see close friends of hers involved in a street shooting. Yes, Lil’ Kim, a/k/a Kimberly Jones, was a proud “presenter” at MTV’s annual slut-and-gangsta fest. Her sojourn to prison was the subject of humor as she announced an MTV award. It was an improvement from her previous performance–on the stand and then, later, defending her lying on the stand–when she compared her experience at the shooting and conviction for lying about it, to the 9/11 attacks (!).
And MTV has learned a lot from the NFL. Besides no embarrassment, it celebrates the criminal “achievements” of its glitterati. Where the NFL has likely multi-murderer Ray Lewis as its sometime-MVP, MTV has Suge Knight, the gangsta king of Death Row Records, who served prison time and is suspected of involvement with several shootings and the like. He was shot during this weekend’s MTV festivities.
Great stuff for the kids.

By Debbie Schlussel
President Bush’s new envoy to Israel, Richard H. Jones, is an Arabist who spent years in Lebanon and Saudi Arabia (not to mention, France). He’s praised by Israel-haters like Nebraska’s U.S. Senator Chuck Hagel (Republican) and Martin Indyk, a formerly mustachioed and still-cheesy looking, arrogant former Clintonista from the State Dept.
Most telling of all is that, according to the Washington Post, Jones named his beloved Greyhound dog, “Kisa,” after “Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.”
Question: Is the dog a bitch?

By Debbie Schlussel
Yes, that was me on the “Best of Howard Stern,” this morning. This is the second “Best of Stern” I’ve been on in the past year. Thanks, guys! (And, no, I did not do–or need–the makeover.)

By
You’ve read about him. You’ve seen him on TV. A sappy network TV movie about him, starring Corbin Bernsen, is now doing re-run hell on the Lifetime Channel.
To believe the conventional wisdom, Morris Dees, Jr. is a brave man who protects Blacks and Jews against White Supremacist Klansmen.
That’s the PR, anyway. The truth is otherwise.
The real Morris Dees, chief of the misnamed Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), is using our courts to take American land from Americans and give it to illegal aliens.

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