FX has been spending a lot of time promoting it’s new Steven Bochco mini-series, “Over There,” about American soldiers in Iraq. In promotions, it constantly claims that there’s no politics in the movie. Right.
In fact, in the “Platoon” tradition, “Over There” portrays U.S. soldiers in Iraq as drug addicts and potheads. On last week’s premiere, soldier Maurice “Smoke” Williams lights up.
“Over There” co-creator and executive producer Chris Gerolmo told USA Today, “drug use is certainly a part of life in the Army.” I’m sure there are a lot of American soldiers who’d disagree with you, Mr. Gerolmo, including my Army veteran dad.
Shame on you and FX, both.

By Debbie Schlussel
As I always say, pillow talk is the most effective form of political speech. Since he’s been sleeping with Sheryl “F— Bush and Screw America” Crow, the lobbying of Tour de France champion cyclist Lance Armstrong has come to a head–in his disturbing new views on the terrorism war.
Recently, John Kerry hinted that Armstrong would make a great candidate for office, and–he feared–a Republican candidate. But while President Bush likes Lance (appointed him to commissions on cancer and fitness), keep Armstrong far away from politics–and the GOP.
Unfortunately, the anti-War on Terror Armstrong is vying to become this generation’s Muhammad Ali. Another egotistical athlete who thinks that since his body is at peak performance, his misguided mind is in equal shape. He’s WRONGLY claiming that Americans are more worried about cancer than terrorist attacks, and that less dollars should go for national security, in favor of cancer funding. Funny, I didn’t hear him complaining about those millions in tax-money the U.S. Postal Service wasted to sponsor him until recently. THAT’s the money that should have gone to cancer research, Lance.
Armstrong told both Time and USA Today, “Funding for cancer research is tough to come by these days. The biggest downside to a war in Iraq is what you could do with all that money. What does a war in Iraq cost a week ? A billion ? Maybe a billion a day ?…. The budget for the National Cancer Institute is four billion. That has to change. It needs to become a priority again. Polls say people are much more afraid of cancer than of a plane flying into their house or a bomb or any other form of terrorism. It is a priority for the American public.”
Pitting those fighting cancer against fighting terrorism is just plain wrong. Plenty of money (and resulting waste) has been spent on both.
I have many family members who’ve died of cancer, but Armstrong’s assertion is absurd. We spend plenty on cancer research (to the detriment of research on other deadly maladies), but ANYONE can be struck by terrorism at anytime. 9/11 and the attacks on Britain were lost on Armstrong, apparently.
If John Kerry wants Lance Armstrong for the Democratic party, he can have him.

By Debbie Schlussel
Oprah Winfrey’s given me so much material about her Islamist leanings it filled a very LONG column, prompting me to become the proud owner of www.OprahSucks.com. Not kidding.
But there’s more material.
Today’s episode of “Oprah,” re-run for the THIRD(!) time, is “Going Around the World With Oprah.” The idea is that Oprah will “show” us what life is like for 30-year-old women from around the world. Only, it’s all a bunch of bull.
And predictably, life in almost everywhere else–places like the Muslim Arab world–is much better than here in America (except for Queen Oprah). Cuba is a place where women can average three ex-husbands (this is good?) and have “more rights.” Puh-leeze. No-one has more rights in Cuba. Yes, everyone is equal there–equally persecuted. “We have to get out of our sort of American way of thinking,” National Geographic’s Explorer host Lisa Ling told Oprah, in pushing Castro’s “paradise.” (Gee, why doesn’t she live there?)
Then there’s Kuwait. Oprah says it’s the only democracy in the Middle East, even though (at the time this was shot) women don’t get to vote (they now do–but the vote, for both genders, is meaningless). Huh? Kuwait is an Islamic caliphate. It is ruled by an Emir and a royal family (the Al-Sabahs), not to mention religious clerics.
Wrong, Queen Oprah, the only democracy in the Middle East is ISRAEL!
And, of course, Oprah wouldn’t miss the chance to rip our efforts in Iraq. A Muslim woman who is on Oprah frequently with her phony charity (a charity that denies honor killings are characteristic of Islam) says it’s all our fault that now Iraqi women are hooked on valium. They take it, she says, because of what we did to their country. Actually, Iraqi women have been taking valium since the days of Saddam Hussein, when he wouldn’t allow relatives to have funerals for their relatives he just killed.
Tell the truth, Oprah! For once.
Thanks for your phony baloney “tour” of the world–at least, the world according to Oprah.

By Debbie Schlussel
People have asked me what I think of the new movie, “The Aristocrats,” a dirty joke “documentary” by Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller. It opens today in Los Angeles and New York and rolls out to the rest of the country over the next two weeks.
I’m no prude, and yes, it’s very funny. But, even though there are (almost) no naked people, it’s completely vile. Totally tasteless. That’s why AMC theaters won’t show it. There’s nothing wrong with comedians appearing in it, if they don’t mind what happens to their careers afterward.
Bob Saget, of “Full House” fame, says onscreen that he’ll probably never work for Disney again, after the movie comes out. These days, that’s probably not the case. Carrot Top exposes his naked rear end, and I doubt that will keep him from more appearances on “Live with Regis & Kelly” and “Late Night with David Letterman.”
But there’s something wrong about George Costanza (Jason Alexander) using graphic words on-screen to describe testicles, disgusting sex acts, including rape and incest, one minute–and on the TV screen with Lee Iacocca in Chrysler ads, the next minute. I doubt Chrysler would have hired him, had they known about his appearance in “Aristocrats.”
And, like Costanza, most of the guys in this movie are on the downward trajectory of their careers. Jackie Martling, once part of radio’s Howard Stern Show, appears in “Aristocrats”–weathered and leathery in what look like short pants or women’s capris.
I don’t deny these Lenny Bruce-wannabes their right to free speech, but Chrysler never had Lenny Bruce as a spokesman. Should they use Costanza?
Then there’s producer Penn Jillette. He and Teller did a highly offensive magic trick, in which they burned an American flag in the White House, on an episode of “The West Wing.” They were playing themselves, and it’s not a stretch. To further show us how much he “values” free speech–or wants to push its limits beyond acceptability and normalcy, Jillette recently named his new daughter “Moxie Crimefighter.” She will be tortured all her life with this absurd name. No problem since her father’s house resembles a bizarre sado-masochism den mixed with macabre death penalty implements.
In 2002, I appeared on ABC’s “Politically Incorrect” with Jillette (actress Jane Seymour and NBA Player Michael Olowokandi also appeared). On the show, Jillette bragged how he holds up TSA screening lines at airports by wearing a metal card talking about his civil liberties. I’m sure travelers behind him in lines everywhere just love him.
Here’s an excerpt from the transcript:
Bill Maher: All right.
Penn just handed me this.
This is the Bill of Rights printed on a little piece of metal.
Penn Jillette: Yeah.
Bill: Paul Provenza gave me this also.
You’re saying, when you go through the airport metal detector, so they purposely take it out and then you say, “Please take away my Bill of Rights.”
Penn: Right.
They wand you and it’s securityedition.com.
You buy like five of those when you go through.
They wand you and they say, “Do you have any metal? What is this?” You pull it out and go, “It’s my Bill of Rights, I guess you better take it.”
Yes, we get it, you’re for free speech. We get it. We didn’t need “The Aristocrats” to figure it out. And we don’t have to like it, either.

By Debbie Schlussel
The hubris of “The Apprentice” boss knows no bounds.
Donald Trump appeared, last week, before the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Subcommittee saying, “Hire me.” Trump wants to oversee renovation of U.N. headquarters, claiming he’ll save the body billions of dollars. Is that what he told all of the investors whose money he lost in the financially bankrupt Trump Casino? They couldn’t trust him. Why should taxpayers?
Kofi Annan met with the Conceited One, and now says, “I’m sure he will get the contract, so I would encourage him to bid.” Given what we know about Annan’s many past deals–“Oil-for-Food” scams, anyone?–Congress should steer clear of anyone recommended by the corrupt, anti-American U.N. leader.
Trump claims the money he will save the U.N. will then got to fighting AIDS and famine, instead. Don’t count on it. More likely, it will go to U.N. bureaucracy at best, and financing terrorist cradle-to-grave education and training at Palestinian refugee camps (or some other equally nefarious project). If the money gets wasted on a building, instead of yet another U.N. anti-American program, that’s just fine by me.
Trump claims he’ll do the U.N. job for free. “I’d like to do it for humanity, ” he claims. You get what you pay for. But then again, Trump’s “free” isn’t free. What he really means is $700 million in cold cash. Doing it for humanity, eh?

By Debbie Schlussel
I’ve written about America-hater , “Persona Non Grata,” on HBO. I’ve criticized his suck-up to Fidel Castro, Cuba’s tyrannical dictator in “Commandante”(Stone wrote Chairman Fidel a nauseating love letter, too). And I was no fan of his Reagan effort, the phony “JFK,” or “Natural Born Killers.”
Now Stone is at it again. He’s attacking American youths’ knowledge of history (look in the mirror, Oliver), attacking President Bush, and planning to make a movie about 9/11.
One wonders whether his version of 9/11 will be a -esque propaganda documentary like that he made about Arafat; a phony conspiracy theory movie, like “JFK,” parading as real history; or a “Platoon”-like film in which American soldiers are either drug addicts and evil. And he’s attacking America’s kids on THEIR knowledge of history?!

By Debbie Schlussel
It’s rare that I agree with spoiled gazillionaires in the NBA. It’s even rarer that I sympathize with claims of racism in pro sports, usually trumped up. (I’ve been very critical of the )
In this case, though, it’s two for two.
I agree with NBA player and Indiana Pacers forward Jermaine O’Neal. In part.
O’Neal says the new NBA rule–that players can’t turn pro until age 19–is racist. I agree that it’s unfair. But more important, it’s also anti-capitalist, against the free market, a drain on taxpayers, and a whole bunch of other negative things. In general, capitalism and a free unfettered market correct racist tendencies–which tend to reduce maximum efficiencies and profit.
Before this new rule, players like LeBron James, Tracy McGrady, and O’Neal himself, could skip college and join the NBA upon turning 18–usually right after high school. Now they can’t.
Talk about an artificial restriction on the labor supply and the free market.

Read the rest of this entry »

By Debbie Schlussel
My “friend,” Hezbollah-supporting (and Arafat-fawning) Republican Congressman Darrell Issa (a/k/a Jihad Darrell), is trying to co-opt Border Patrol, yet again. He is trying to shutdown two inland California Border Patrol checkpoints, which catch a lot of illegal aliens who make it in.
What they don’t tell you in the article is Issa’s real motivations. In the past, he’s always advocated less limits on immigration –especially for his Arab and Muslim buddies. Now, he pretends to be on the side of those who rightfully want immigration restrictions, not loosened. But his constituents aren’t buying it.
Issa–who financed the California gubernatorial recall and changes political positions more often than Madonna changes underwear–hates Border Patrol, stemming from a speeding ticket they gave him in his San Diego district. Issa tried one of those “Do you know who I am?” bits, but it didn’t work. (“Issa” means Jesus in Arabic, and instead of turning the other facial cheek, he tried to get Border Patrol to kiss his non-facial cheeks down below.) Thereafter, he’s done everything he can to hurt the efforts of Border Patrol officers to keep illegals out, including introducing a bill to de-unionize the agency (before there was a Dept. of Homeland Security).
I’m one of the other parties Issa has tried to damage (he , because unlike the snake that he is, he can’t wriggle out of his previous dead skin).
No surprise, though. I’d expect no less from a sleazy Congressman who made his millions through a questionable career of crime (including arson, auto theft, threatening an employee with a gun, and lying about his military record) and now has the equally sleazy position of being Syria’s, Hezbollah’s, and Arafat’s representative in Congress.
And to think they picked a crybaby as their “man.” Remember, this man thinks he’ll be President. Heaven help us.

By Debbie Schlussel
That’s the disturbing, irresponsible premise of “Red-Eye,” a new plane-hijacking movie by Wes Craven (“Freddy Kruger” of the “Nightmare on Elm Street” horror flicks). Going to screen it, tonight. Will post my review, later.
For now, here is the plot description sent out by movie publicists:
RED EYE: Lisa Reisert (Rachel McAdams) hates to fly, but the terror that awaits her on the night flight to Miami has nothing to do with a fear of flying. Upon boarding the plane, Lisa is pleasantly surprised to find that she is seated next to Jackson (Cillian Murphy), the seemingly charming man with whom she had shared a drink-and perhaps even a brief flirtation-in the airport terminal. But moments after takeoff, Jackson drops his facade and menacingly reveals the real reason he’s on board: He is an operative in a plot to kill the Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security . . . and Lisa is the key to its success. If she refuses to cooperate, her own father will be killed by an assassin awaiting a call from Jackson. Trapped within the confines of a jet at 30,000 feet, Lisa has nowhere to run and no way to summon help without endangering her father, her fellow passengers and her own life. As the miles tick by, Lisa knows she is running out of time as she desperately looks for a way to thwart her ruthless captor and stop a terrible murder. IN THEATRES FRIDAY, AUGUST 19th.

By Debbie Schlussel
I’ve written a series of pieces about the improper actions and behavior of (a/ka/ Abu Moskowitz), Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Special Agent in Charge–arguably the highest-ranking federal Homeland Security official for Michigan and Ohio. Now his agents are having their say — on this site! Read the agents’ interesting back-and-forth in the comments section of . Very enlightening. Even the guy who is “defending” him is attacking him. I can think of a certain person to whom the “ICE-hole” term would be even more appropriate.
The longer Abu Moskowitz remains in charge over Michigan and Ohio, the more disdain and low morale like that of these agents will fester and grow. And the longer we Americans will remain unsafe under Abu Moskowitz’s questionable leadership and even more questionable ties with Islamic terrorists. Remember, Islamic terrorists he allows to remain here in Michigan can go anywhere in the country. Ditto for the other assorted Islamic criminals–the investigation of whom Abu Moskowitz has shut down.
The ICE folks in Washington who oversee Abu Moskowitz are aware of the Moskowitz cornucopia o’problems (and not very happy with him). There has been much talk of moving and/or replacing him. More on that soon. Even though Abu Moskowitz is only in charge of two states (Michigan and Ohio)–which include the heart of Islamic American, his behavior and lacking leadership reflect quite poorly on all of Homeland Security, ICE, and their officials throughout the country, and raise the question of whether you are being equally inadequately protected, elsewhere around the nation.
Abu Moskowitz is now spending a great deal of already-stretched tax-funded resources and time to determine which of his agents are in contact with me. But using government resources to find out who told me about Abu Moskowitz’s or his palling around with a “former” Islamic terrorist, who has an undue influence over him, is not only unethical. It’s an abuse of power, for which he is now being investigated. If only he would ever spend the same amount of energy on criminals, like money launderers, drug dealers, Islamic illegal aliens and terrorists. Wishful thinking . . . .